favours, i.e. asking for very large sums of money, or asking to come and live in your house. It is o.k. if you wish to give them the money from your own heart or wish to accommodate them at home. I used to end up doing these things for everyone because I couldnt say no and thought that the other person would be very humiliated. I just wondered, etiquette wise, is it rude to refuse someone. I never ask anyone for a favour as I feel the other person may not be happy to do it, or may not be in a position to do it and too scared to hear the word no from them. How do you feel when some one asks you to do something. Do you feel that you should give in to other people's wishes, no matter how you feel and not hurt them, or should you weigh up the situation in your mind for some time and then give them the reply. Someone said, that rather than say yes or no immediately, always say that you would like to think about it, thus deferring the situation, but that doesnt work either.
2007-09-18 00:15:49 · 18 answers · asked by moti254 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No. It is rude or impolite to ask a huge favor of someone and penalize them for not complying.
"I'm sorry, I'm not in a position to do that."
2007-09-18 00:20:44 · answer #1 · answered by Bill 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
No, you should always feel comfortable to say no if it's not something you want (or are able) to do. When people ask a question (favour) they have to be prepared for a "yes" or "no" answer. Sometimes a "wait" along the lines of "I will think about it" may be helpful, but not always. I would tend to suggest that you say something like "I don't really feel comfortable agreeing to that, but let me think about it for a day or two" so that at least the person knows that the outcome is likely to be "no." Sometimes, you may come up with a bright idea as an alternative solution to what the person is asking, which you can then share with them later.
2007-09-18 00:27:55 · answer #2 · answered by mr_reading_steve 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People can ask but you do not have to accommodate anyone at any time. And asking for large sums of money or to move into your house is way over the top in rudeness. There are acceptable favors that people can ask and you can choose to do them if they fit into your comfort zone. Otherwise, make it a habit to politely say I'm sorry but I'm not in a position to do that. People are asking you because you don't turn anyone down. Once you do, they will find someone else.
2007-09-18 00:49:59 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't do someone a favour every time they ask you to just out of politeness; only do it if it is reasonable. No it's not rude to refuse, it just means that you're not being a doormat. Sometimes people do ask unreasonable favours & they will push it & then push it some more. You have to learn when to say no. Saying no isn't impolite, it will gain you respect. I think you already know this, or you wouldn't be asking the question. Now you just have to put it into practice. Good luck.
2007-09-18 00:31:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason it's called "asking for a favour" is that there is supposed to be some choice as to the answer given on your part in the matter. If you were always supposed to deliver up a "yes" no matter what, then why should they ask? They could just come up and say, "Hey, do this for me, that's a good mate".
Since you are being asked to give up something of yourself, then first consider if you can and/or wish to. Then consider if you wish to concerning this particular person.
You aren't required to say yes to anything you don't wish to.
2007-09-18 00:27:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you just say "NO" it's easy; it's when you go all apologetic, guilt-ridden, and explanatory that you reveal yourself to be soft-headed, easy to manipulate sucker. For every explanation you give, there will be a rebuttal and it will never end. So don't give even one. If you can't bring yourself to say "Of course not, don't be silly" then try "I'm sorry, but that doesn't work for me just now." When pressed, you alternate that with "I'm sorry, but it's simply impossible." Repeat these two over and over. If the pest continues to hound you, switch to "We've already discussed this. I'll let you know if I change my mind." The final step is "This conversation is closed. Please don't bring it up again." You are under no obligation to share your bank account or home merely for the asking and foolish to feel guilt for refusing to do so. Instead of thinking about your guilt when people make such unreasonalbe requests your thought should be "The nerve! How dare you! I owe you nothing!"
2007-09-18 02:47:59 · answer #6 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is honestly not rude to say no when you feel, that you can not accomdate a person's wish. Once you learn to say it, I think your friends might be a bit shocked the first time you say it because you always say yes. They will plea and try and wear you down. Stick to your guns! If it is not a situation that you are comfortable with, then don't be scared. If they are real friends they'll understand.You're not being rude. YOU'VE STOPPED BEING A PUSH OVER AND A DORMAT.
so go out there and start doing it.
JUST SAY NO :)
2007-09-18 01:15:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You always have CHOICE, when asked a favour ask yourself 'do I want to do this or not' and be honest with yourself and others, but NEVER feel obliged as people will catch on to this and keep asking for more and more, you dont owe them an explanation why you dont want to do the favour you can always say it just doesn't feel right
2007-09-20 02:46:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not rude or impolite to say no. You have to. Everyone has limits, and you have to know yours and not try to push them. You have other responsibilities (to your family and yourself) that have to be fulfilled first.
Yes, it can be hard to say no, it can make you sad to not be able to help someone, but you can't just do everything everyone asks of you because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. They aren't worried about hurting you, if they're constantly trying to stretch you so thin you are hurting yourself or your family.
To ask to live at someone's house is impolite. To be ugly if they say no is downright rude.
Do what you can, while taking care of YOUR real responsibilities. When you have to say no, just say "I'm sorry, I wish I could help you but I just can't right now."
I'm probably taking it too far, but have you considered counseling? It's disturbing that you think you should cater to everyone else, but that you feel you can't ask others for help. Look into it.
2007-09-18 06:49:06 · answer #9 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not obligated to do favors for others if you do not feel like doing them. Period.
You may some some obligations in life, but if it truly is a favor, and you don't want to do it, simply say, "Sorry, I can't" or, "Sorry I do not want to do that". Most of the time you do not have to offer a reason, either which a pushy person will ask for. Tell him it is personal, walk away.
2007-09-18 01:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have absolutely no obligation to answer those sorts of questions. People put so much emphasis on money and in deciding if they either like you or your character....its pretty lame. Adventually if shes still asking, you should find a way to tell her thats its none of her business, that way she'll get he hint that shes crossed the line.....people just need to be told sometimes, being blunt isnt always a negative thing.
2016-05-17 12:06:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋