i think im adopted?

Question

well i was about 4 and i can remember people saying things but dont know what about and i dont look anything like my family and i get treated differently but ive asked and shes said no but i just have a feeling i am help me please!!!

ive tried asking her but she is not tellin me or showing me any proof but im not old enough to get a birth certificate yet and am reli worried now please help me

im only 17 ill be 18 im 2 months

Answer 1

I have an adopted son, and at least in my state when the adoption is finalized the birth certificate is changed to show the adoptive parents' name on it (even though it does show which hospital and city the child was born in).

I also have two biological children, and I can tell you that I feel exactly the same about all three of them. Any differences with what has gone on between me and any one of them have to do with their individual personalities/situations and not whether or not I gave birth to them.

In general, people your age who have been adopted are raised knowing that right from the start. These days there's even a trend toward open adoption. Its unusual if people keep that a secret, although, I suppose, there are times when someone adopts another family member's baby and swears to keep secrecy.

Usually, mothers talk about when they had their child. Has your mother talked about her experiences during pregnancy with you or told you her labor and delivery story?

If there's one thing I've always wanted my son to know it was that I never saw a difference between him and my other kids (in terms of how I feel about any of them), and I've always just kind of felt as if someone happened to give birth to this particular child of mine.

Be very careful about what you think you heard at four years old. Little kids hear things they don't understand or misinterpret.

Answer 2

Genetics are strange things and in families there is often one child who looks different from the others. My siblings were all fair except for a brother who was very dark. It turned out to be that he looked like a distant Spanish ancestor. There was no question of adoption, artificial insemination, an illicit liaison or a previous marriage kept secret as he had imagined.
Parents often treat children differently according to their personality and also tend to expect more from the eldest and be more indulgent towards the youngest. Often those in the middle feel that they are ignored or overlooked.
Your mother has the key to all this and should have asked you why you had this feeling and showed you some proof that you are really their blood daughter. I would approach her again and ask her nicely, explaining to her that you are worried and insecure because of what you overheard as a small child, and tell her how important it is to you to know for sure that you are really her daughter.
If you are still a minor and are in any way neglected or maltreated then ring Childline on 0800 1111. The calls are free. They are trained to deal with all sorts of problems and may even be able to suggest a way in which you can check your identity.
http://www.childline.org.uk/

Answer 3

Look at your birth certificate. WHEN was it registered by the county clerk? It should be within days of your birth date if you are with your biological parents. If your birth certificate was "amended" (might list your adoptive parents as if they were your biological progenitors), the date that the county clerk registered your amended birth certificate could be over a year after your birth date. This is usually the biggest clue.

Look carefully at the type fonts. Does it look like several different typewriters might have been used to fill in all the information? For example YOUR info (sex, date of birth, etc.) is typed in one font. But your PARENTS' info is in another type.

There is usually a question about "Previous Births to Mother" on the birth certificate. Does the information listed there match up to what you've been told? On amended birth certificates, the answers to this question are usually changed to match up to the adoptee's situation.

Talk to your parents. Tell them what you suspect and say that you want the truth. Tell them that this is their one and only chance to tell the truth without you being angry about previous lies. (Don't say this if it isn't true for you.) Offer them this one Get Out of Jail Free card, to make it easier for them. But also, make it clear that you will be even more deeply hurt if you were to discover that they lied this time too. Good luck and be brave.

Answer 4

Getting your birth certificate will not help. When I adopted my daughters new birth certificates were issued with our names on. The twins always knew they were adopted so we never had tell them. As they asked we gave them more information. At 18 we showed them photocopies of their original certificates with their birth parents names on. Are you close to any other family member that you would be able to ask or at least tell them your fears. Even if you could get a birth certificate you wouldn't know what your birth name was.

Answer 5

Well you see, what's wrong with everyone telling you to just "look at your birth certificate", is the fact that if you are adopted, YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE IS ALTERED.

Yep, that's right, your adoptive parents' names are put in place of your bio's as if they themselves created you.

No mention of your real parentage, no indication that the document has been amended.

So if you ARE adopted, your birth certificate won't be of any help. You have to get a DNA test (or even a blood test) or talk to other, older family members or family friends.

Good luck, it would be a real shame if what you think is true and they have been lying to you. That's just absolutely WRONG.

Answer 6

If you are adopted, then your birth certificate will have your adopted parents name on it. They issue a new one when the adoption is final. You can ask for a DNA test. Why don't you sit down and talk opening with your parents and discuss why you feel this way. You can be related and not look alike. You could be a throw back from one of your earlier relatives. I have a cousin who looks very much like our great great grandmother but none of us. We recently discovered the resemblance at a family gathering

Answer 7

have a look round your parents house when there not there I'm sure they have a Draw where they keep all the private documents, it would be in there, you could anyways try saying you need your birth certificate for some i.d or to get a passport or something.

if your parents wont or refuse to talk about it ask another family member maybe an aunt, or gran or family friend tell them you suspect your adopted see what they say

if you are please don't be hard on your parents they still love you no matter what, they just want whats best for you x

lets us know how it goes x

Answer 8

you don't need to be 18 to be told you are adopted.you have the right to know that when you are a small child,or old enough to understand what it means.you need to tell your mother that you think you are adopted,and if you are,then to explain. if she insists you are not,well in two months you can find out for yourself by asking for a birth certificate from the dept of births. would she really lie to you now,knowing you can find out anyway?. but i would make sure that you bring up the subject in a mature and adult way,giving her a chance to say her side.you can't really afford to accuse her anyway,until you have the proof she was lying. so until this is sorted out,i would keep as calm about it as possible
good luck!

Answer 9

how old r u sweetheart?
ask 2 c ur birth certificate and if they wont let u go to your local birth and death registry and you can buy 1 for £3.
i was married to an adoptee and it is hard. if you need help tracing anyone, i'll help anyway i can x
good luck
Kirst x

you can get your birth certificate at any age, i have found a few people for friends and anyone can request a copy of anyones birth certificate. i could ask for joe bloggs and say he was my son. they don't need proof, its public record x

Answer 10

Why you worry that much? are you being miss-treated? be very objetive don't read between lines, if you are adopted love your parents/family even more, cause they actually pick you, family comes in all shapes, be great full if God put some love in other people's heart to raise you. If you find out you are adopted, it OK to have questions and you deserve to have answers, please be calm, nodoby wants you to be hurt, be brave, wait those two months patiently and be happy with whatever you find out.
Love.