Help please; I need a guys point of view. (or women if you have ideas)?

Question

I love my fiancee dearly and he really turns me on. But when ever we do make love he goes straight to the intercourse and there isn't enough foreplay. I don't know how to tell him that I'd like to take it slow & take our time focusing on each other first before going to that stage.

I'd like to tell him what i want without sounding demanding. I just want to be suttle about it.

I really love this man. And i've never wanted some one in my life so bad before. He means a lot to me and its just not some sex fest. So please honest answers only. Thank you.

Answer 1

I have always abided by the philosophy that if you are old enough to have sex, than you are old enough to talk about it.

You do not have to sound demanding or insulting to his prowess to ask for what you want. But you do have to ask for what you want, otherwise, how is he supposed to know.

You love this man, dearly, and have announced that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with him. As such, there isn't a topic in the world that the two of you shouldn't be able to have an honest discussion about, including your sex life.

Answer 2

Be direct and assertive about what you want , but don't be aggressive. Sex is about pleasure for both people, and if you're not getting satisfaction out of it it can actually lead to you *not* enjoying it at all.

Take the lead! Start off with some romance. Barry White on vinyl (if you have it, CD if not). Light some woody incense like sandalwood or cherry (not flowery like lavender). Lower the lights. Then when he realizes that you're in the ood-may, suggest some games. Play Truth or Dare. Play strip poker. Tie him up! Maybe not with handcuffs, but with a scarf or pantyhose or something light and delicate. Get some of those Naughty Dice (the kind that have action words on one, like Lick/Suck/Nibble/etc. and body parts on the other, like Chest/Ear/Below Belt/etc.) Roleplay (that actually is a big one - play Cop/Motorist, Waitress/Broke Customer, Maid/Employer, or whatever floats your boat). Try some different things, and then if and when he tries to goes straight into the intercourse, be coy and flirty - and stand your ground about the buildup.

Hope this helps!

Answer 3

OK, you love the guy, he turns you on & you're gonna get married..... yet you two obviously have communication issues and different wants & needs regarding sex.... at least..... both of which render happily ever after questionable if not unlikely. Communication & compromise are critical aspects of any relationship, especially matrimonial longevity. Any change in a person occurs, & more importantly remains as such only when that person sincerely wants to & will do so. While the desires of a significant other/spouse can certainly influence change, there's no guarantee it will, and is both foolish & unrealistic to expect that it will. That said, resolving your dilema is gonna require communication & compromise.... from both of you..... to be successful. You're also gonna have to accept a little masculine reality such as the following...

1. "Making love" & "sleeping together" is sex & a certain 4 letter word

2. Hinting, implying, mind reading & subtle is not communication

3. A stage is a performance place usually equipped with amps & speakers or a pole

While these may seem crude, non-romantic or otherwise unemotional.... keep in mind it goes both ways.... & less than ideal is a matter of gender biased opinion. So how do you tell him what you want? Just say it.... plain, simple & direct..... just don't expect any difference.... after all...... what you're saying is you want him to change. You're supposed to love somebody for who they are.... not who you want them to be....... or how you want them to be.

Answer 4

Well, be demanding. You are gonna be doing this for a long time to come, and if you don't explain what you want he will never know. Or find one of those sex games couples can play, that's kinda what they are for, so you can learn about each others likes, dislikes, etc.

Answer 5

concern is, you have defined a woman. in case you like to place in writing from a guy's point of view, lose each and all the "oh so gentle and "heartbroken" interior" stuff. effective, some adult men _are_ gentle interior, yet you will discover it a good purchase much less annoying to place in writing from the POV of somebody who _doesn't_ have a stereotype lady's character. appropriate now? you're only going to finally end up with a woman who you're saying is a boy.

Answer 6

Just tell him to slow down, take some more time. Subtle can be misunderstood. But to quote the movie American Pie (part 2 i think) "you gotta preheat the over before you stick in the turkey" :)

Answer 7

guide him in the foreplay. you can learn to initiate it and take things from there if you really don't know how to talk to him about this. sometimes foreplay will turn him on so just practise and go with the flow. (:

Answer 8

well i would talk to him about how he feels about foreplay, and tell him you would like to just do that first. its always best to talk about before sex, because during sex is kinda like (why didn't you tell me this sooner) so tell him before and just let the love making do its business. have fun and good luck.

Answer 9

just tell him how you feel about it. be honest. a couple must be open to these things.. if he really loves you, then he'll take this as a way to improve your relationship.

Answer 10

wash your "area" dont let him have it so quickly. tell him he has to earn it. give and take.