The groom asked my husband 2 B in his wedding, then 2 weeks later the bride asked me if my 2 sons could B in their wedding. We agreed, but recently were advised tux rentals 4 ea R $170! $510 cost out of pocket which is pathedic. Wedding is in 2 weeks. I advised her that the cost was astronomical, so they R paying 4 the children's tux's. Anyway, there R a total of 22 people in this wedding. They R getting married @ a park, 45 minutes away, the ceremony is 2 B outside under a tree, no seating for guests, everyone is 2 stand & watch - have to pay a $5 park fee just to enter the park too. I'm also the photographer 4 the wedding. The bride informs me yesterday, that they are not sure now if they are going to have a reception because the hall they were having the reception @ is now upping the price of the catering because the caterer's changed. I think this is quite rude to have your wedding party shell out $$ for a 10 min ceremony outside & no reception. What would U do? Please adv.
2007-09-17 19:43:16 · 14 answers · asked by momof3anglz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I forgot to mention the groom is a close friend. The bride is a pain in the a$$. I personally think he deserves better. The bride asked me today if I would attend her bachelorette party. It costs $50 a person to ride the "party bus". First off, I'm a mom of 3 kids, I don't drink, I attend college, I'm not one of the bridesmaids, and I feel that is the bridesmaids place to attend that, and pay for it, not guests. Anyway, she was complaining to me about how much money she was "wasting" on the reception, and she wasn't sure if she could come up with the $$ to pay for caterer for the reception hall! I can't understand why she would choose to spend $$ on the bachelorette party and not put that $$ towards her responsibility. She also is not going to advise the 260 guests who rsvp'd of the reception change until the day of the wedding. How bogus is that?! I'm just P.O.'d because it is a waste of $$ and is RUDE. I think the groom is whipped, & I realy want to tell him. UGGGGHHH!
2007-09-17 20:00:42 · update #1
I forgot to mention that yes, I am taking the pictures for her ... because of the groom being such a good friend. FOR FREE. I have also printed their invitations FOR FREE. She apparently was aware of the catering problem 6 months ago, and now is complaining about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but I feel my friend (the groom) is just settling. Not to mention, they are living home with his mother, and don't plan on moving out into their own place. I have attended her bridal shower, and purchased her dishes and pots and pans ... I have no regrets, however, I'm sick of her coming to me to try to "FIX" everything. I have the money to pay for the tux's all 3 of them, they volunteered to pay for the children's. So, I said, Sure. However, I sincerely feel that she is a poor planner, and is a whiner because now she screwed things up. Oh yeah, and she asked me if I could pull some strings to find her another hall @ a discounted rate for the wedding reception on 9/29/07.
2007-09-18 08:02:14 · update #2
I guess underneath, I'm a woman of morals. I don't condone the fact that they are living w/his mother and don't have a place of their own, because they both work full time and make about $60K a year between the two of them. I'm upset at the fact that she keeps bringing her problems to me, and that she is always looking to me to make things right. I just can't help them out anymore. My husband is getting pissed because of their wishy washyness and even the grooms mother is upset, and told them to get it fixed, or she won't attend. It's just getting ugly because of the lack of planning on their part. It doesn't justify how they are treating those in their wedding party. I mean come on, if you are going to have a wedding party of 20 (TWENTY) people, you should AT least give them a happy meal from McDonalds, and an apple pie. The girls dresses were $325 each - and 3 girls are threatening to drop out. I just feel bad for the groom, as he is like a kid to us, and it's just sad.
2007-09-18 08:09:56 · update #3
So, she's having 260 people come to a wedding and not providing a single thing for them? Not a chair, a drink or a morsel of food because she thinks treating her guests properly is a waste of money? I would give them a wedding card, and that's it. Decline the b-ette party invite and someone needs to tell the couple that this isn't right. I notice she doesn't think the guests giving her gifts is a waste of THEIR money...I'd be really mad if I were a "guest" at a wedding like that--because I'm a human being and deserve to be treated better than cattle who are an inconvenience.
2007-09-18 01:48:30 · answer #1 · answered by melouofs 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
With the reception hall, if she signed a contract they should honor it at that price. She should fight that.
Bachelorette party, anyone can go, the only one who does NOT pay is the bride!
And she SHOULD let her guests know about the change in reception. Try talking to the groom to let someone know to send a postcard to all guests attending the changes in the reception asap. I would be pissed if I went to a wedding that offered a reception, travel all that way, to find out there was no reception!
2007-09-18 05:49:33 · answer #2 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to honor your commitment and be in/ show up for the wedding. However, i would not attend the bachelorette party, it's not your place.
Back to wedding blues. If she cannot afford a sit down dinner have a cocktail/ finger foods reception. It's going to be a disaster if 260 people show up and have to stand for ten minutes and go home. It's her wedding, and her awful memories. She's the bride and it's her day... sounds like it won't last for long anyway.. tell the groom to get a prenup!
2007-09-18 01:43:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell him and if I were you, I'd get the phone ringing and tell all of the people I know that are going to be in or attending the wedding all of the stuff that you have found out and tell them to pass it on. If more people knew how shallow this girl is, they might not be willing to attend either. That or they would tell her to get her act together and grow up!! I had my wedding planned and payed for in two weeks, including the tuxes and the dress for my bridesmaid and maid of honor, I'm not made of money, I think she made some poor choices and probably isn't thinking past herself and her own comfort. I had a reception and wedding at a park and it only cost us about $550. But we spent those two weeks scouring the entire area for the best prices and we made sure that everyone attending could afford to come. The reception could be done a better way. A pot luck reception can never go wrong!! If everyone brings enough of one or two dishes for THEIR family, then you can be sure that everyone will get full. good luck!
2007-09-17 20:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by wombatred26 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
GET OUT OF THIS WEDDING. You do NOT have the right attitude to attend. If you are unable to celebrate the happiness of the bride and groom, you should not attend. If you are against the marriage, leave them alone, and don't go. Your husband should fulfil the obligations he agreed to, in order to help his friend on his special day. You, however, should leave them alone.
If you are unable to get out of being the photographer, then attend the ceremony, take some beautiful pictures, and put on a happy face for the new couple. You CHOSE to agree to be their photographer. You make a choice whether you want to attend the bachelorette party or not. If you are going to be bitter about it, Don't go. Whether or not you agree with their relationship, you have no right to ruin their day with your negative attitude.
Do I agree with the decisions the bride and groom have made? No. Guests should NOT need to pay for parking...and there should be a cake and punch reception at the very least. It is rude to have people show up for your wedding, then have them drop off gifts and go home, with no opportunity to celebrate the marriage. And, yes...Guests are probably going to be offended. It is so rude for them to not make the guests aware ahead of time that there will be no refreshments, no reception, but that is not your problem. The bride and groom are paying for your son's tuxes..which is NOT something they need to do. At least they are trying to work with you.
Please evaluate your motivation for being involved with this wedding, and either adjust your attitude, or stay away.
~Kat
2007-09-18 01:34:05 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
The bottom line is that this is YOUR day. Unfortunately he has made things difficult and puts things in an awkward situation. I think you have to decide what will have the greatest negative affect. Is it confronting your brother on this and how you feel, potentially upsetting him, or how it will affect your special day by having someone there you don't know since you are choosing to have such an intimate setting. To me, it's simple. YOU are what is important here for this is YOUR day. I think you should tell your brother that you understand that maybe he wants to bring a "date", but that being surrounded by people you know & love and whom love you back is why you wanted something so small in the first place. You want your ceremony to be intimate and special with only those you love around you. You shouldn't have to feel guilty about this, and he should understand. Remember that "guys" sometimes don't "get" these kinds of sentiments so maybe if you talk to him about it, he will understand your perception. Also remember he is only 20 - so another reason why he may not realize the significance of your request. Just make sure that you are true to yourself on this special unforgettable day. Hopefully your brother will be sensitive to that and understand that your wishes are more important than his on this particular day. P.S. Maybe your mother could talk to him about it too, as to not put you in the position to ruffle any feathers. The fewer things you have to worry about on this day, the better.
2016-05-17 11:01:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just because the bride is being a jerk, doesn't mean that you can't try to make the best of it for your husband's friend (the groom). The whole idea of a wedding is for people to come together in celebration of the joining of two people. The bride and groom don't have to feed their guests, there's nothing in the rule book that says it's a must. Just like you and your family don't have to be there. You could have always said no. Listen, you're not doing this for the bride, you're doing this for the groom. If you guys are his friends, you stand with him through thick or thin, regardless of who he chooses to spend his life with. I think it's great that your family is so involved with the wedding, it is indicative of how highly the groom and bride think of you.
By the way, if you don't want to go to the bridal shower, just say no, I'm sorry, I really wish I could, but we can't afford it right now. If she doesn't understand, at least you gave her a polite answer.
2007-09-17 21:19:34 · answer #7 · answered by lordmisrule2004 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
This is a case of wanting a champagne wedding on a beer budget. They should be doing all they can afford, even if its not much. They are horrible hosts. Have your husband tell his friend that he will wear his nicest suit, and your boys will be dressed in their best clothes. If thats all you can do, thats all you can do. But you also should have told her beforehand. Otherwise, just go along with things and keep quiet and in the future dont expect much from this couple. Theyre out to lunch.
2007-09-17 23:08:04 · answer #8 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
let her know upfront that if she is too cheap to shell out for her guests reception dinner than you are not shelling out for tuxedos, etc. its quite rude to invite 240 to an event and hae no seating and second guessing the reception. i just dont undertsnad that. no wonder its to damn expensive she invited way to many people and should have cut the lis tin half to afford the expenses. if u feel shes not going o have a reception than dont go, shes using u to be the photographer and im sure shes not even paying u a dime. cheap *****!
2007-09-18 02:07:51 · answer #9 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is I hope she's paying you as the photographer for the wedding. Perhaps you should tell her that you've increased your fee to cover your expenses...parking etc!
2007-09-18 06:11:09 · answer #10 · answered by PAWS 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋