Why do my parents hold me back?

Question

I'm 20 years old but I feel like I'm 14. My parents want me to grow up and spread my wings, but they still treat me like a little kid who can't do anything by herself. They want me to take challenges and risks, yet they get mad when I take challenges they don't approve of. I am afraid that when I graduate college I will end up staying at home, afraid of the big bad world and remaining safe wrapped up in the apron strings. I can't move out at the moment because I simply don't have the money to do so and because I would not have much support. I feel like running away from home or doing something wild just to show them I am no longer the timid little child they have raised me to be. I understand that my parents do love me, but I don't think they are doing a good job of showing it by holding me back. Help please...

Answer 1

Oh sweety...........I wish I could set them down and point out the finer things in life!!
Are you too needy? Do you cry when you break a nail? Maybe try being more "manly". Do the tom boy thing.

Mostly just go talk to them and tell them how their making you feel. I hope they sit listen and feel what is on your mind.

Not bragging, but all 4 of my kids know they can do this with me................they love me!! Yours love u too!!

Answer 2

I'm not sure I understand your question. You seem to be saying that social policy, like the weather, is something that "just happens" and we have to make the best of it. Personal hygiene and safer sex education, access to contraceptives, wealth [food] distribution, health care delivery are what they are due to the policy context in which they exist. Change the overall policy, and these specifics change too. Further, you seem to be suggesting that we should with hold public health and nutrition programs from the childen of the poor in order to "teach a lesson" of some sort to the parents. Your last qestion is especially puzzling. I had thought your point was you DIDN'T want schools so deeply involved in children's lives, that you wanted private things like sex and income to be kept in the home and out of the school. But at the end you seem to be condemning schools for NOT butting into personal matter like "teaching restraint and morals." I get the feeling this is something that sounded really good when you first read or heard it, but I think you need to do a deeper analysis of the superficial problems and look at the underlying causes.

Answer 3

They're not delibrately holding you back. They're just scared of letting go. We (parents) do everything we can to raise our children to be independant and to give them the tools to make smart choices but when the time comes to let our children start making their own choices and living their own lives it's hard because we want to keep protecting them. I used to feel the same way you do but now that I'm a parent I can see the other side of the situation. I know it's frustrating but running away or doing something wild would be childish and that's the image that you're tryng to get away from. have you tried talking to them? If not tell them that you appreciate everything they've done and have taught you but that you need to start living your own life and making your own choices. Tell them that it's because of their love for you that gives you the courage to try new things and take certain risks and that you know that you can count on their love for the times when you "fall on your face". Good luck to you and just keep reminding yourself that they love you.

Answer 4

they are smothering you but then again you should be out on your own and doing soemthign. job and college that is what you should be doing and getting a chance to live abit and that is why they are worried. but you can show them manager your money and get moving good luck