Mom problems?

Question

My mom has no job, no man, she is overweight, she lives with her parents, got pregnant in highschool twice and now has three kids. She yells and thats all I hear from her. If I want to talk to someone It is either my granparents or a counsoler. I cant talk to her becuase she never gets it. She says Im an ungrateful brat when I try to tell her something that happens at school or with a friend. I feel maybe I am a brat and maybe I deserve something bad to happen to me.I hurt myself I stop eating anything that cuases pain. I feel like I deserve noting but it. I havnt told anyone about it becuase I will look like a freak. But I feel thats the only way to punish myself for being hateful toward my mom.

Answer 1

My mom left me at 3 and she was killed by her husband when I was 13 so all I could tell you is be greatful she had you and its either going to make you to be stronger or weak.
Its your choice.
Get it in your own head that she is not happy with herself(like someone else said).
Hurting people hurt others.

So rise above it and become the lady You want to be.
I had several childhood problems I chose to overcome them through God He was my comfort while I was a teen.
I am still learning at 29 how to do things my parents should have taught me.


If you'd like me to pray with you just e-mail me and I'll get to it ASAP.
******************************************************************
Plus one of the commandents is to Love your neighbors as you love yourself.

† Every Day Prayer Warrior †

Answer 2

Hi there baby boo.....
your mom has the problem which a lot of answers have said already. You are reacting to her problem as if it is your fault...which it is not. She is an adult and has made her choices. You can have a love/hate relationship with someone like that. You love her because she is your mom....but you hate what she has done with herself. Don't let that ruin the rest of YOUR life! Go to your school counselor or pastor and talk about this. Asking on yahoo is ok but you really need to talk more and get advice you can use on a daily basis. Make friends that make you feel good about yourself...you deserve THAT! I will pray that you will put God first in your life every day and that you will hold your head high because you are a child of THE KING!


† On-call Prayer Warrior †

Answer 3

It sounds like there's some pain from when your mother was young that she's not dealing with. It's possible that she doesn't know what it is, or she does know but doesn't know how to deal with it, or it's too painful so she represses it. She's taking it out on those closest to her, and you're just an easy target. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It doesn't mean you're a bad kid. It's like a car careening out of control. It hits whoever's in the way.

It might be hard to accept that she may never be the kind of mother you want, but you know who she is, so deal with it the best you can. If you know you can't talk to her, continue to talk to the people you know are supportive. You mentioned you can talk to your grandparents, so keep that up. Do you have any good friends, or an aunt or uncle you trust?

Most of us don't get the kind of parents we want or need. You can spend your life trying to fix something that has nothing to do with you, or you can accept that your mother has limitations, and build a support system that doesn't include her.

Please, stop hurting yourself. Life will do that without any help from you. Study hard, get good grades, and do things with your life that will make you proud.

Answer 4

Oh my dear - you are not being hateful toward your mother. You are feeling hurt and anger and pain - maybe you're feeling hateful, that's ok. Your mother is not being the kind of mother you deserve, one who looks out for you, listens to you, makes you feel safe, and shows concern and love.

Don't try to talk to her - because she is not selfless enough to hear from you. You are right -- she doesn't get it, and no matter what you do, she isn't going to ever get it, which is sad. She is abusive toward you. Keep talking to your counselor. Tell her you are doing self-harm, and she can get you some help. This won't make you stop, but I want you to know that you definitely do not deserve to be punishing yourself-- you haven't done anything wrong. You're not a freak, either. Your family is "sick" and your self-harm is just one of the symptoms of the sickness. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I hear the pain you are in, and I feel for you.

Answer 5

You're not really being hateful, just hurt and abused emotionally. It can wear on you. I think you should try talking to a counselor about it or a friend first and then go to a counselor about it. Although I should tell you that if the counselor thinks its effects you in a way that the parent needs to be involved; she just might. (cause she thinks it would be for your good) Trust me, you don't deserve to cause yourself pain; just take in consideration with your ma's feelings at the times even though she may sound crazy at the time and try to be good around her. But, you don't deserve to be causing yourself pain; she's been through a bit too.


Hope this helps and everything goes well.

Charnelle : )

Answer 6

stop doing what ever you're doing to cause pain to yourself. There's a lot of people out there hurting like you are hurting. Your mom is hurt from so many things that have gone wrong in her life. You I doubt are being hateful at all but she's probably said it so much and the atmosphere around her is so negative that you may think you are hateful. Start acting interested in HER. I know life is not all about her, but maybe that's her problem. She's made so many mistakes and wrong decisions in this life, she just needs some reassurance from someone who loves her unconditionally (Like Jesus). Also Go to focusonthefamily.com Dr. James Dobson might be able to help. He's REALLY good!

Answer 7

Don't hate yourself or your mom. Your mom sounds angry at yourself. She only wants you to be grateful because she was not at your age. You see the results.

I guarantee you one thing. If you find as many things every day for which to be grateful - you will see many good things happen in your life.

I am a Christian - but was not at your age. In some ways - your mother is trying to tell you that you can do better. It's hard when a parent doesn't love themselves enough or lives in regret so much that they don't know how to say I love you.

However, I can tell you that God loves you and wants you to have the best. He wants you to make better choices but without judging your mother. When she got pregnant she was also looking for love. However - sex is not love.

Sex is the consumation of love between two married individuals. It may sound old fashioned - but take this time to seek as many good things about yourself as you can find - no matter how small or large. (See Phillipians 4:8)

Choose your friends wisely. Align yourself with kids who get good grades and want to do well in life. You will become like the people you assoicate with.

Feed yourself the word of God. You will never be hungry or unloved.

God Bless.

Answer 8

Talk to someone you trust. You do not deserve to be punished. It sounds to me like your mom is unhappy and takes it out on you. Don't let her do that to you. Stop hurting yourself and talk to your school counselor or another adult that you trust to help you. And don't think you are a freak if the truth be known there are a lot of young people that have the same problems and are afraid to talk about them.

Answer 9

You don't need to punish yourself. Start being nice to your mom, no matter what she does. Share your feelings with someone besides your mom if she doesn't listen well.

Treat other people as you want to be treated. Be kind, giving, selfless, caring, patient, tolerant, understanding, have unconditional love, be slow to anger and quick to forgive.

Do things for others not expecting anything in return. If you do all this you will like yourself.

Answer 10

You are not doing anything wrong and should not be punishing yourself for the flaws of others. I suggest you talk to a trusted adult, maybe a teacher or counselor.
It sounds like you haven't been brought up in a very stable environment and that can be hard on someone who is young. Please don't blame yourself and if you need to talk to someone go to a teacher, they will not judge you, and may be able to help you more then you can ever imagine.
You deserve to be able to confide in someone! Please talk to someone.