Do any of you mothers out there have any advice on how I can get my 2 and 3 year old to share?

Answer 1

It's a really tough one and you will probably be dealing with it one way or another for the rest of their lives!! Serously, teaching our children to share is such a big deal in ur culture and it is really a developmental challenge we impose on children far earlier than they are capable of understanding it. Before kids can be expected to share at all, they first need to have a firm grasp of what it means to have something, or own something, or have something belong to them. We usually insist that children share before we even allow them to "possess" anything! Ideally, you want your children to share because they want to, and they can't do this if they are pressured to share. I think when kids are as young as yours are, it is pretty impossible to get them to share consistently or to share more than not share. The best way around it is to probably account for them being unable to share most of the time and then you will be pleasantly surprised when they happen to actually share. For instance, be sure they each have things of "their own" that they never have to share. Make sure they understand that it is okay to feel and be possessive of some things and that we all have some things that we don't want to share. The older child will clearly understand this better than the younger one and it will really not be possible for them to learn to share well until they can both grasp the ideas. Children learn ideas through their play and their toys. It would be good if they each have some toys of their own and then together they have other toys that "belong" to both of them. It may be hard for them to understand this at their ages so, you need to reinforce it a lot by lettting them know which toys are each of theirs and which toys are sharing toys. If you want them to respect each other's things (certainly part of the concept of sharing) then they should not be able to play with the toys that are exclusively the other ones without their permission. Therefore, if Sally is asleep and Nancy wants to play with the dollhouse that "belongs" to Sally, Nancy can not do this because because she needs to get Sally's permission first. This may sound ridiculous right now but, if you start the idea right now you will see that they will learn it and respect it and grow up to understand it. I don't know if they are in the same bedroom or not but, if they have separate bedrooms it creates an easy way for them to be able to keep certain toys for themselves and to be willing to share others. In my home, anything that is in the "shared rooms," (i.e., living room, family room, kitchen area) is considered communal property and no one is allowed to say that someone else can not use it. Likewise, the kids are not allowed to take things from each other's bedrooms without permission because when things are in their own rooms, the things are considered as belonging to them and need not be shared unless permission is granted first. It should also be a good way to get kids to keep their own things in their own rooms but, somehow my kids have learned ways to get around that!! Anyway, I know I've gotten perhaps a little too philosophical here but, I really do think sharing is a difficult thing for little kids to be expected to do. The truth is that if your kids are constantly fighting over toys, they are probably really fighting over wanting your individual attention -- because you are the most difficult thing for them to learn to share. Good luck! I know it's a tough one.

Answer 2

Well, the children are 2 and 3 and they are pretty self-centered. Just keep reminding them about sharing and then give positive reinforcement. Look around for some book on sharing that you can read to the kids.

Answer 3

When they fight quit choosing "winners" and "losers". No matter who did what first, who is crying, lost out make them both lose. Eventually they will quit fighting if they know the both get in trouble.

As for sharing I use a few techniques, the timer technique, where each get a share until the timer goes off; the fight and no one gets it technique and the old standby, "it's mine now".

Seriously, not sharing comes from being allowed to fight. Stop the fighting, don't be afraid to take things away and be consistent.

Answer 4

I'm not a mother yet, but I always watch Supper Nanny on TV (Yeah, kinda corny, I know, but she does give good advice). One of the things I love about her is how she suggests giving stickers (like on a board) for everytime the child does something good, like sharing. And then once he/she gets up to 10 stickers, 20 stickers, however many you want... then he/she gets a prize at the end. My parents used to do something similar with me when I was little and it worked =)

Answer 5

Tough one. I am told that kids simply cannot understand the concept at all until they are 5... something to do with their simplistic concept of "me" and "mine" (someone will know the theory I am sure).
I find the only way is to say "if you don't share, I will take it away". Then do take it away if they don't share! They catch on soon enough.
I also encourage playing with toys that have multiple parts (blocks, tea sets etc) so that sharing is not so difficult.
Good luck.

Answer 6

ok well its rly hard i mean i have a 3 yearold bro tht shares wit like his cousin thts his age but the older cousin(7) trys to tke stuff from him but it depends on if its girl girl boy boy or girl boy i mean its different .
boy,boy- usually share but can get rough so they get mad then dont so u have to tell them ifthey cant share then time out or not toys for the rest of the night.
girl,girl-they can get into cat fights and hate sharing so you have to tell them that if they don't share then they'll be seperated and no toys.
boy,girl- hard one. well they don't really have the same toys so lets say they both want the same toy tell them that either they won't get it at all unless they share, by taking turns, or using it at the same time.

Answer 7

We made a game out of it. It did take some parental play and it didn't happen over night. I got things my kids liked a lot, although they were not expensive. I had something a little nicer than theirs. We would sit on the bed or the floor and play with our toy. Then, I would ask my daughter if I could play with hers. We traded. My son decided that he wanted the toy my daughter had, so they traded. It took about a week of playing, but it worked.

Answer 8

when they are fighting over a toy, try giving the toy a time out. they have to put the toy away until they agree to share it. you could also use a kitchen timer and each one of them gets the toy for 5-10 mins and when the alarm sounds they have to give it to the other child.hope this helps.

Answer 9

This worked for me - It may not be good for everyone but here goes - I would ask my daughter to share something with me..crayon, juice, etc..and if she became bossy I would pretend to cry. Little ones don't like to see mommy upset and she would come to me...we would talk about how it makes us feel good to share and how sometimes it is hard to want to give up the toy/etc. If I asked my daughter and she said, "not right now please, I would really like to finish etc.." I would say thank you and leave her with that...I think it is just as important for a child to be able to value their space as share.

Answer 10

Make activities where you and everyone share so they can see, show them is a good thing to do by you sharing with them and where they see people sharing. Children are very perceptive to what they see