My brother is getting married. The wedding, under 100 people, is being thrown by the bride's parents. My relationship with my in-laws is good on the surface but I don't really like them or appreciate things that have been said/done in the past. Truthfully I have been looking forward to the wedding and feel their presence would ruin the day for me a little bit. My parents aren't friends with them but I think my husband expects them to be invited and says they will be offended if they are not. I don't want to make waves but I don't think they should expect an invite. Do we just say that we were only able to invite a limited number of people per the bride's parents and leave it at that?
2007-09-17 14:40:20 · 25 answers · asked by Luv2Answer 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
To the people who say I have no say over the guest list. . .I do. My brother and mother both asked, "Would you like to invite your in-laws?" Now it's on me to decide.
2007-09-17 15:09:41 · update #1
If your familes are not close and do not know your brother extremely well there is no reason that they should be inviited (its definately not a normal practice).
2007-09-17 14:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by crazy life 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, your parents are under no obligation to invite your in-laws to your brother's wedding. If they feel hurt not being invited, simply say to them exactly as you have said here...."we were only allowed to invite a limited number of people, due to the fact that it is a a very small wedding and the bride's parents are paying."
2007-09-17 14:50:21 · answer #2 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you right now there is NO WAY either of my siblings would invite my in-laws to his or her wedding. I am in the same situation -- it looks good on the surface (except for with my SIL and that doesn't look good from any angle) but I don't like them and because of the things they've done/said, not one member of my family likes them, either.
So God no. Your husband needs to get over it. It seems really rude to invite people one doesn't know to a wedding anyway -- like your brother and his wife are expecting a gift.
2007-09-17 15:53:31 · answer #3 · answered by Scorch 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You have a great out-the bride's parents are throwing the wedding. Tell them you regret they won't be invited but the list is to be kept to a certain number and there is just no room for discussion. Use it to your advantage. They're your in-laws, not your brother's. Who says they have to invade every aspect of your life? I know just how you feel-I wouldn't invite mine to my brother's wedding (if either of them were getting married) either. If they don't like it, oh well. You can't please everyone all the time.
2007-09-17 15:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never heard of anyone inviting their siblings' in-laws to their wedding. I wouldn't invite my in-laws to my brother's wedding, but that's just me. If you liked them and got along well with them, I suppose you could. But it certainly isn't necessary that they go, especially if they don't know your brother. Tell them that unfortunately there's limited seating and already they've had to keep some close friends or other family off the invite list.
2007-09-18 03:19:32 · answer #5 · answered by tink 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unless they are close to your brother and your parents then I would say no they do not have to be invited. Maybe if you explain to them that only close family is being invited to keep the budget under control, they would understand. Otherwise if you think they will over react, don't say anything. It is notyour responsibility since it isn't your wedding. Do not stress over it you can't control who your brother and parents invite.
2007-09-17 14:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO you don't have to invite them to the wedding. Ask your husband if his feeling would get hurt if you didn't invite his parents and he might tell you he is fine with them not getting invited to the wedding. It is up to you so know if I were you I would be honest with your husband and tell him that you don't want to invite them but if he does you will do it for him.. See what he says to you.
2007-09-17 16:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you do not have to invite them. They are your in-laws and in all reality have nothing to do with your brother. Explain to your husband in a nice way that they are not considered part of the family, neither bride nor grooms. I have no idea why they think they should be invited, it has absolutely nothing to do with them.
2007-09-17 14:51:13 · answer #8 · answered by Cheryl C 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Seeing as though its your brothers wedding YOU dont invite anyone. It is up to him and his bride to work out who will be invited.
*EDIT*
Well if it is your decision then just make it. You either want them there or not. I think it is bad form of your brother and mother to put you in that situation
2007-09-17 14:55:21 · answer #9 · answered by Suzieq 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, there is no need to invite them. They are not your brothers family and if he has to keep his guest list small it would be odd for them to be invited.
Your husband needs to cut the apron strings a little....not being rude or anything, but where you go is nothing to do with them.
2007-09-18 12:01:18 · answer #10 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm.....
If my husband's brother ever gets married, I am certain that my mother would not expect an invitation, unless somehow she becomes close to him somehow by then. And I think that would be the same thing.
Similarly, we didn't invite my husband's other brother's in-laws to our wedding. It never even crossed our minds.
Soooo... I don't think it would be common practice for your in-laws to be invited to your brother's wedding unless somehow they became close to each other.
2007-09-17 15:38:14 · answer #11 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋