Joke...Weight Loss Program?

Question

A fellow is ordered by his doctor to lose a minimum of 75 pounds because of the serious health risks involved with being so overweight. Baffled as to how on earth he was ever going to be able to accomplish this, he runs across an ad in the newspaper for a 'Guaranteed Weight Loss Program'.

Skeptical, but desperate, he calls them and subscribes to the 3 day/10 lb weight loss program.

The next day there's a knock on his door and when he answers it, standing before him is a a voluptuous, athletic, beautiful, 20 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes, and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign around her neck reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without giving it a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

After they finish, she leaves and he thinks to himself, "I really like the way this company does business!" For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens. On the fouth day, he weighs himself and is thrilled to find he has lost 10 lbs as promised.

So, he calls the company and subscribes to their 5 day/20 lb program. As expected, the following day there's a knock on his door and there stands the most gorgeous, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me!" He's out the door after her in a flash.

This gal is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it's worth every cramp and wheeze. She is, by far, the best he has ever had. For the next four days, the same routine happens and, much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself and finds he's lost another 20 lbs as promised!!

Deciding to go for broke, he calls the company and subscribes to their 7 day/50 lb program! "Are you sure, sir?" the company representative asks. "This is our most rigorous program!"

"I'm positive," he replies. "I haven't felt this good in years!"

The next day there's a knock on his door and when he answers it, standing before him is Richard Simmons wearing nothing but a pair of pink racing spikes, and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, I can have you!"

Answer 1

hahahaha! funny joke!!

Answer 2

I've tried many diets and couldn't make anything work. Since having my first child, I've been carrying around an extra 30 pounds. This diet just made sense and showed me that everything I was doing before was wrong and a waste of my time.

The plan was so refreshing and so simple to follow. I did everything plan said and lost 23 pounds in the first three weeks. I'm now starting the diet again to lose 7 more pounds. This plan has changed my life.

Get started today!

Answer 3

Exercise in the morning to speed up weight loss

Answer 4

eat four meals with chopsticks instead of a fork slowing down can help you consume about 25 fewer calories per meal

Answer 5

Green tea helps in burning more calories because it cantains bioactive substance

Answer 6

Try to know the calorie counts before ordering dishes on restaurant

Answer 7

eat a rainbow of colors have at least one brightly colored fruit or vegetable in each meal and if appropriate eat the skins thats where youll find a powerhouse of antioxidants

Answer 8

you may be used to fried foods but there are other sometimes healthier ways to cook including roasting steaming poaching baking braising and broiling

Answer 9

take in the greenery sit in lotus position and breathe deeply for an hour and 42 minutes

Answer 10

trade in a cappuccino for a regular a cup of joe

Answer 11

Have a carb free dinner