ok well a short while ago I had asked a question about my ex gf. I had told my ex I wasnt going to talk to her anymore because I still love her and she doesnt want a relationship with me. But when i told her this she got very emotional and cried so I told her I wouldnt just leave her like that...it would break her heart since I am her "best friend". But now I've been talkin to her still and it just hurts talking to her so much!!!! I love talking to her since we are so much alike but the love is still there(well for me) and that feeling just rips me apart on the inside. I know most people are just going to say move on...and i've tried...dated other girls but still. The problem is I want to cut all contact with her but then I dont... I know that if i do I am not being a good friend to her by just leaving her. But if I keep talking to her I am just going to have hopes for another relationship with her. I am so torn on what to do...I don't want to hurt her again...last time she cried....
2007-09-17 14:12:23 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So really I am lost on what to do...I talk to her every night and she said she wouldn't know what she would do if we didnt' talk everyday. And I like talking to her because I can be so open with her. But it just is not working out...us being best friends I just get hurt...ugh...I dont know what to do I can't stand when I hurt her but if i dont then i am just hurt
2007-09-17 14:14:31 · update #1
You need to tell her what you've said here, and you need to look out for yourself before anyone else.
If it hurts you to be in this situation, then you (at least) need to take a break from it. Her using you for a sounding wall isn't going to help either of you grow...you will be her crutch and she will be your restraints...and she needs to realize this if she doesn't want a relationship with you.
Has she told you why she doesn't want to be with you? I guess it doesn't matter, really. If you want to know, ask! The worst thing she can do is avoid the question...just make sure that you are ready to hear the truth.
You need to tell her what you've said here. "I love knowing you, but I...I need to get over you, and I can't do that if we keep going on like this". Something to that extent.
It is very possible that she will cry, even beg you not to cut off contact. You NEED to do what is right for you, even if it hurts her. If she isn't willing to give a realtionship another shot, and you NEED a relationship with her to keep from hurting, then it's time to move on.
Best of luck to you - please keep us posted (email or whatever) on how this goes...and remember, if she truly understands who you are, she will be willing to give you some space for a while if that's what you need. You are obviously going against your emotions for her sake, so the favor should be returned if she is a worthwhile friend.
*hugs* It's gonna be okay...but you can't let it continue like this. It's not going to be easy...but you need to do it.
2007-09-17 14:25:33 · answer #1 · answered by unithoRn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see so it's OK that she is allowing you to be hurt as long as she has you to talk with every night. As a woman i understand what she is doing to you, would you agree.And if you agree then listen to what i tell you your ex is playing with you she doesn't want you but she wants to make sure she doesn't lose you to someone else. Why you may ask,it's because she does not want to be on her own if who ever she stopped seeing you for doesn't work out. You probably didn't know about the other person but you can bet he is in the picture and he is playing games with her that's why she needs you around just in case that guy she is seeing doesn't want her. Ask her about him tell her you already know about him but you want to hear it from her. If you didn't know about the other guy I'm sorry to be the one to tell you,but if you do know then stop letting her play with your emotions like she is.In order to get strong you got to do what is best for you not someone who is thinking only of herself. Get some balls here and tell her it's all or nothing period.
2007-09-17 14:37:19 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is: you might be her best friend. But, it appears that she is not yours. If she were your friend, your pain and how you feel would matter more to her than it appears they actually do. Friendship is a two-way street: you should have her support if she wants yours, and it really doesn't sound like you have it.
To be blunt: if she's getting what she wants from you but refusing to give you what you want (either separate time to get over your romantic attachment to her, or to have a romantic relationship), then that's not the actions of a friend, but of a user.
2007-09-17 14:18:42 · answer #3 · answered by Katie W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK you have to move on as you said yourself because you will never know what will be coming next.
may be she wanna let you fall in love with her and dump you so you can feel how bad is to be dumped......!!!
but all of this is just an opinions
the best solution is two of you you can sit together lay down the problems and I'm shore you will get the conclusion. because you still love one another
2007-09-17 15:12:47 · answer #4 · answered by Nice_guy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all,I think ur a really sweet guy.2nd i know how u feel,only i'm sort of in the same situation with my ex.don't leave her tho,a girl hates it when a good friend does that.maybe u should try and talk to her,try to sort things out between the two of u.try to sort out ur mind,if u really love her,then maybe its best if u two,kind of just chill out,spend time away from one another,for awhile.as much as it will hurt.but if she doesn't feel the same thats a problem,i'm not trying to be mean,but she seems to be a lost cause,the only thing she wants is a friendship.
2007-09-17 14:24:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This cycle will go on an on, an you will be stuck in the same place of being hurt, you have to not talk to her for awhile
2007-09-17 14:17:12 · answer #6 · answered by pixieprincess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋