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I thought she was talking about waxing or tweezering when I agreed she could have her eyebrows done. She meant piercing, and now she thinks I have gone back on my word and am making excuses.

Until she reaches the age where I legally have no choice, I would never give her permission to get facial piercings. Its not that I don't trust her to look after them or anything like that. Its that a lot of employers don't like them and I don't want to let her screw up her future.

Can you think of something I could offer her as a "sweetener"?

2007-09-17 12:02:36 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

23 answers

i have no other way of answering, but heres my one way:

exercise ur right of being a parent, tell her u misunderstood, then when she is finaly old enough, she will most likely discover how foolish the idea of piercing her eyebrow was

she's a newly formed teen, give her a few more years, im sure she'll get over it

2007-09-25 10:11:13 · answer #1 · answered by ATO 3 · 0 0

Hmmm, tricky one!! You can get some fake piercings but probably not for the eyebrow, more likely the nose and lips. Maybe that could be the deal until shes old enough? Or if it really doesnt work and your willing you could try and appease her with a more discreet piercing like the belly button, but thats a bit more extreme!

I have my top lip pierced, I got it done when I was 20 and at uni, I thought long and hard about it before getting it done though. I've actually never found it a problem with work, even in customer facing roles. Alot of employers these days dont bother, its mostly the older ones. My husband has his eybrow pierced and the odd employer has said "I like it... but our customers might be a bit funny about it" in which case he takes it out when facing customers, they cant argue with that, simple! To be honest its becoming a bit non-pc to make comments like that as more and more people have them!

You can get retainer piercings that are transparent but enable you to keep it pierced. So if she did go ahead with it when she no longer needs your permission this is a good option for interviews etc!

By the way, eyebrow piercing scars are more visible if she ever decides she doesnt want it, also they can grow out as the brow bone pushes it further out (especially as shes only 14) so she may end up with a 'line' scar where no hair grows, not just two small dots as you might think. My friend had her tongue, eyebrow and bottom lip done and decided she no longer wanted them, she now has a line scar on her eyebrow (about half a cm long) and her lip never really sealed up properly so still looks like a hole but she can no longer fit a bar through it. This may persuade her to rethink!

2007-09-17 19:17:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Based on what you stated in your question I don't see a real need for a sweetner. I would set down with her and explain that it was all your fault for not getting enough specific information from her. Putting the blame on yourself may make her feel better.

My 15 year old wants her nose and eyebrow pierced. I continue to hold firm on the 18 year rule. About every 6 months the subject comes up and I stay consistant in my reply. The subject will then die down.

I wouldn't worry too much about future employement. The employers of today are pretty clear on what they will allow as far as piercings in the workplace. If she wants the job badly enough she will take the stud out.

My oldest daughter came home from college at Christmas in her Freshman year with her eyebrow pierced and one on her face called a "Monroe." She was eighteen and legal to do it. The piercings were gone by that next summer when she got a job.

Good luck, I feel your pain but "this to shall pass."

2007-09-17 19:24:46 · answer #3 · answered by Cleo 5 · 1 0

Explain to her that you misunderstood and that's all there is to it. She's 14 years old, she's a kid living under your roof. If you don't want her to get it done then put your foot down and tell her when she's adult she can get whatever she wants on her face. Of course she's going to freak out, she's 14. But I certainly wouldn't give in. I know when I was a teenager, I would want the piercing or nothing at all, so a "sweetener" may not be the best thing to do...

2007-09-17 19:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by lyona22 2 · 1 0

Telling her that you misunderstood her should take care of the problem. It sounds to me that she is just trying to make you feel bad for " going back on your word " to try and smooth it into letting her do it anyways. Don't give in. Stand your ground, you should not have to butter her up for anything, an apology and an explanation into why it would not be a good idea is good enough. If that don't work, she'll eventually get over it. She has 4 yrs until she can do it on her own until then it's you that has say with her.

2007-09-17 20:24:48 · answer #5 · answered by peyton31602 4 · 0 0

Just tell her you misunderstood and tell her why. I have no doubt she tried to mislead you to begin with. Piercings are on the way out now anyway, and you're quite right; employers dislike them, they look stupid and frankly, have no place in today's society. Offer her your good advice and don't worry about sweeteners...she's lucky enough to have a nice mom, don't let her bully you or call the shots. Interesting how kids want to have these disfiguring piercings to be different, yet they look like all their friends.

2007-09-17 19:26:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I'm 14 years old so my opinion may be of some help. I in no way would ever want to get any part of my face pierced let alone my eyebrow, but that's only me. If your daughter wants to that's cool. If you don't want to and want to make her feel better then something I would want would be to be taken shopping where I could buy anything I want or taken out to a restaurant or let her do something she normally can't do. Maybe if she wants you could let her get her ear pierced wherever she wants? I'd totally go for that and forget all about what I wanted in the first place.

2007-09-17 19:11:02 · answer #7 · answered by MEROKE 1 · 0 1

here's what you say, " It's pretty sweet to live without any bills, right? To do what you want, right? If you are insistent about your eyeball ring- you not only pay for it, but now you have inherited grown up bills. You want to act grown up and I will treat you as if you were grown. You can pay for your groceries and your usage of water for showers and clothes. You can pay for the gas I use driving you around.
In the future you be upfront with me about what you really want. An adult does not lead people on to get what they want. You should have clarified what you meant and treated me with respect, by respecting my decision. I am your mother and you will do what I say until you are no longer living under my roof. This recent attitude is not an example of acting maturely. If you can not be mature-you can not get piercings. End of story. So what do you want? Being grown up, getting piercings, and paying bills? or being my sweet little girl a little while longer?"

2007-09-25 02:03:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

. Sounds like she tried to minipulate you. Coming from a scam artist on the mom, myself. Nothing you can offer her is going to cheer her up. Except for time. After she is done pouting take her downtown for shopping. On the way show her the homeless pierced bodies there and ask her how they look. Kids think its cool but then they look the part. And you can get in a lot of trouble by looking the part.

2007-09-21 20:57:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I would think that you telling her you misunderstood what she was asking would be good enough. At the same time though body piercings are the in thing for kids and with a job later on down the road, she can always take it out when she goes to work

2007-09-17 19:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by Terri C 2 · 0 0

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