My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He has 4 kids, I have none. He has full custody of them (their mother left them). They love me and I love them, but lately my boyfriend and I have been arguing a lot and I just don't feel happy anymore. I don't want to walk out on the kids like their mom did...but I want to be happy too. I have family in another state and we have talked about me going, but he says it is up to me. What should I do?
Serious answers only please.
2007-09-17 11:48:55 · 11 answers · asked by Jamie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We've been through this thing before too. We talk and get to the point that I am going to leave, then he talks me into staying.
2007-09-17 11:57:00 · update #1
No, he is not a shady character...he is the best father I have ever seen with his kids and is very protective.
2007-09-17 12:01:20 · update #2
You have to do whats right for you in the long run. I know leaving him and the kids will be one of the hardest things you will ever do. No offense but it doesn't seem like your bf is very concerned with the fact that you are thinking of leaving. Have you suggested couples councling to him to work out your issues?
If you end up leaving him, that doesn't mean you have to leave the kids too. You can still talk to the kids and visit when you can. Just think about things thourghly before you go thru with them. Good luck!!
2007-09-17 11:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by musicgrl42002 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first you should consider whether or not the issue is resolvable or not. Sit down and talk to him about WHAT the issue is that you are having, b/c if you dont then it will definitely look like you are walking out w/o an explanation. If you are argueing about petty things then yall need to work that out b/c that can be resolved. If u are trying and u feel like it cant be resolved then maybe then u should consider. Hope this helps
2007-09-17 11:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing the children a grave diservice staying around and modeling for them an unhappy relationship. It sounds like they are probably too used to that. Chidlren are very perceptive and it's likely that they already know that the two of you are miserable, especially if they've already witnessed the end of a relationship between their mother and father. First and foremost, you've got to make decisions to respect your own feelings.
2007-09-17 11:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you arguing about stuff that can be fixed? or is he cheating, drug abusing, just a poor character guy.
If you don't care enough to stay and work things out, or if things can't be worked out, then it's time to go. This is the chance your bf took when he asked you to move in. He let his children get attached to you, knowing that your relationship may not be permanent. That was not a good move, but it was his, not yours.
TX Mom
2007-09-17 11:57:17 · answer #4 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your arguments can't be resolved and the relationship is not going to work out, do what's best for you!
See if you can make an arrangement to call or write his kids so that they still have a mother figure in their life.
And try to stay away from guys who have kids! That can be messy!
2007-09-17 11:56:09 · answer #5 · answered by K3932 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know. If you tried constructive talks or counseling and you are not happy then you must do what you have to. If you haven't tried to do these things I feel it would be worth a try. You sound like a good person, I hope you exhaust all avenues regarding communication before you decide.
2007-09-17 11:57:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write down the possitives and negatives of both and make a good decision. Both are going to be hard.
2007-09-17 11:56:37 · answer #7 · answered by bobbobarn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you gotta be happy. and thats all. do what will make you happy. being with kids that love you and being in a agumental relationship or moving near your family and perhaps finding your real true love.
2007-09-17 11:56:08 · answer #8 · answered by my nickname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont ask us, anybpdy who responds to you doesnt know jack about your situation. just make your own decision, if you feel it aint working out, say you love the kids but you have to move on because its just not working. and thats that.
2007-09-17 11:55:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. You'll only make the kids miserable if you're miserable.
2007-09-17 11:55:13 · answer #10 · answered by April T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋