what are your favorite jokes and one-liners? dirty ones welcome!?

Question

i need some good jokes, my favorite it "what dod one saggy boob say to the other?" "if we dont get some support soon, people are gonna start to think were nuts!"

Answer 1

Refrigerator Man

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband -- he thinks he's a refrigerator!''
''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies. "Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.''
''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists. ''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.''

Answer 2

Three pigs went to a party, got bored and went home. (Boared)
Two nuns walking through the woods and a guy jumps out and shouts 'Hokus Pokus'. Said one of the nuns 'Never mind about the Hokus'

As on testicle said to the other 'Why should we hang for what Dick did?'

Answer 3

These two " good old boys " are hunting in the woods. The first guy lifts up his new rifle with a high powered scope. As he looks through the scope he says: " Wow !! You won't believe how far I can see with this thing ! As a matter of fact, I can see clear back to your house...Oh, Oh..I can see your wife in there with a man & they are fooling around !! "...... The second guy says: " Damn..I'm tired of that woman always messing around on me. You know what ? I want you to shoot her in the head & then shoot him in his private parts !! ". The first guy, who is still looking through the scope, says: " Hell....I can do that with one shot !!!! "

Answer 4

A Shanghai hooker was introducing her sons, whose fathers were all former "customers". This is Hung Long, over here is Long Wang, this is Long Dong, and this one's father is American, he is called Large Genitals.

Answer 5

someone says something along the lines of, "so for slope we should put none"
the math teacher says "you can, none as in N-O-N-E.
don't spell it the other way, that would be a bad habit to get into."