really worried. help me?

Question

im 13 and ive been attracted to boys basically my whole life.
well for a few months now, ive been worrying constantly about this answer i saw on here. It said " sometimes you force yourself to like boys when you dont" and thats when it started me thinking "have i been covering up for liking girls?" or " am i hiding the fact i like girls just because i care what others think?" I really do NOT wanna be a lesbian. .and like i dont like see myself looking for guys anymore. I used to be like "wow hes cute" ( and yes i still do but it feels like im lieing to myself ) i do say shes pretty. but not really in a attracted sort of way.i wish i could just go back to when i didnt worry about this or think about it. because i really dont want to be a lesbian.
anything to help me go back to normal? or is this like a phase?and i think like worrying about will actualyl make it worse. and make me like girls.like when i used to talk to guys id be all nervous. and now its like im not so excited anymore

and now im so confused. and now i feel like im hiding that im a lesbian because my parents dont like it. or the world doesnt like it. and IDK i dont want to be a lesbian. or at least i dont think i do. IM SO CONFUSED.

=/
and like im pretty sure im not. but i have this nagging doubt.

Answer 1

You are normal when it comes to liking boys and if your not acting so girlish around them now it's because you are getting older and more wiser about which boy you like or don't like. There will be a boy that will come along and he will get your attention just in a more mature way....Don't worry about being lesbian I think you would know for sure by now and your not hiding anything ......your young so stop worrying about it.

Answer 2

Ok, you are not a lesbian lol. The idea worries you so naturally it's all you can think about right now. Just relax, it doesn't sound like you are at all. You're probably just growing up and not being so boy-crazy as you were before, maybe you can appreciate guys for more than their looks. And just because you think some girls are pretty doesn't make you attracted to them, everyone appreciates pretty people of either sex. So I would say you should relax and don't try to force anything, you've just got yourself worked up but once you think about other things it'll all feel natural to you again.

Answer 3

Girl, have you ever caught yourself in a worry spiral.
1st of all stop & think. You are worrying about your own sexuality over a statement you read on Yahoo?
Let's look at that statement that has you in such a tizzy.
The person started with the word "SOMETIMES" not all of the time, sometimes.
Next, I took a whole different meaning from the statement that you did. I understand it to mean that sometimes girls like certain boys that they might not otherwise like, because their friends like the boy (peer pressure). So if it's possible that you misunderstood the entire meaning of the statement, then is it not also possible that you are making mistaken assumptions about your sexuality?

You are a normal 13yo. You are asking questions so that you can learn about life & have a better understanding of it when you are out on your own as an adult. For now suffice it to say that you are too young to make any serious decisions about your sexuality, however from what you described in your question I am leaning toward you being a totally normal heterosexual 13yo girl.

So stop worrying. This is what I say to people that I know, who get themselves all stressed out with worry.
Just name me one thing that you were able to change, just by sitting & worrying over it.
When you give that enough thought you will realize that the answer to it is; NOTHING!

Answer 4

First things first: you're 13. This is way too much airtime to devote to something that won't go anywhere for at least 5 more years...

Just because you can say that a girl is pretty doesn't mean you're a lesbian. If you're not attracted to boys right now, it could be because all the boys you interact with are also 13...nobody looks like a model at 13, boy or girl...give yourself a break!

Answer 5

If its one thing that you will always have as a young adult, its options. Options to be different religions, have different sexual desires, do drugs or not do drugs, etc....
Sweetie you make the decisions for yourself what you want to do in this life, its yours!! Its not your parents life or societies, it belongs 100% to you. I'm sure you value your parents opinion, but you shouldn't let it make you do things that aren't a part of who you are. Now liking boys is all fine and dandy, but you're 13, I doubt very serisouly if you know from day to day what you like and don't like. I say just give it time and what will be will be. If you like men cool, if you end up liking women, also cool. As long as you are true to yourself and live your own life, you'll be fine. But I think that you're putting too much pressure on yourself to be a certain way. At 13 you'll probably change up so much between now and 25, you will look back at this and laugh your head off one day.

Answer 6

I'm pretty sure this is a just a phase. Hormones make you a little flaky at your age, which is why they call it "ado-less-sense".

For the record, most gay men are born that way; there is a physiological abnormality in their brain structure. One of my best friends is gay and he remembers in first grade, instead of having a crush on a little girl, he had one on another little boy. Most gay women are gay by choice, if that makes you feel any better.

And you are right, worrying about it will just make you worse. The reason you're not so nervous around guys any more is because you're building self-confidence and you're getting more used to them. Some will find this trait in you to be very attractive.

Answer 7

You'll be the only person to know if you are gay or not, it is not the end of the world. You can only come out of the "dark" when you feel comfortable and safe.
You're young and while most people don't figure themselves out at first you have some time. Just relax and let things happen naturally. Hang out with a guy you are attracted to-see how you feel, try the same with a girl. You will know in your heart but right now I think you are playing mind games with yourself and you need to take a chill pill.

Answer 8

First of all, there's nothing inherently wrong with being a lesbian. It's just a different way of loving. It may subject to to religious disapproval and social stress, but there is also a very wide, warm, and welcoming homosexual community out there to offer friendship and support. So don't fear or hate it.

But I wouldn't worry about it - if you were a lesbian, you'd know it. Your tastes may change in the future, but just be honest with yourself about who you are and what you like, and you'll be whoever you are meant to be.

It's totally normal to recognize physical beauty in a man or woman without being attracted to them - just because you look at a pretty girl doesn't mean you want to kiss her or be her girlfriend, and you can even admit that a guy is hot without being personally attracted to him yourself (for example, your friend's boyfriend is cute, but you wouldn't want to date him yourself because you don't like his personality).

To be honest, you're just at the very start of your dating life, and you're not even ready for sexual contact. So there's no need to worry about this yet. Your interest in boys will change a lot over the next few years, so don't overanalyze each step in the process. Being more comfortable talking with guys isn't a sign of homosexuality - it's a sign of maturity.

So don't obsess - if you're happy, then wherever you are is normal for you. If who you are changes, then you're still normal, as long as you're happy. Just let yourself grow into whoever you're meant to be.

Answer 9

It's probably just a phase. Take from a lesbian, if you like girls....you will always like girls. There is no forcing it. Obviously that you like boys in an attractive way, but the fact that you think a girl is pretty does not make you a lesbian. You might be bisexual...who knows??? Stop making a big deal out of it and enjoy your teenage years. You will either grow out of it or welcome it. The choice is yours.

Answer 10

You're 13, so you're at an age where your sexuality is still pretty fluid. Don't force yourself to be either/or. You can't be positive... For the time being, just relax, and like whoever you like. It's perfectly OK to be bisexual or a lesbian, or even just to find girls pretty in a nonsexual way.

Good luck in your ventures in the world of adolescence.