Sometimes my mom can make me so upset that I just feel worthless. She says I'm not caring, she says I'm selfish, that her day would be better without me in it. I asked her something and when I figured it out on my own she rolled her eyes and said "duh". I know I'm a good person and I get A's and my friends love me. But she's really lowering my self-esteem because I keep on thinking "this is my mom saying this". It's not 24/7 but I've finally had enough that I just start crying over the simplest things. Why does she want the perfect daughter???
2007-09-17 09:35:11 · 6 answers · asked by love 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
your mum is probably going through some problems,
she may be feeling bad about her life, about all the things she wanted to do but never got to do,
for whatever reason,
and then she had kids and that takes away the hope and chances of doing these things and she may feel some resentment towards her life being 'over' and having done nothing where as your is just beginning, you have all these possibilities ahead and hers all all behind
she may feel unappreciated, that she gave all that up for nothing because no-one notices or cares how important these things were to her
remember your mum is still a person, just like you
she did all the same things you do when she was your age
she had all the same dreams and possibilities
and now she is just 'mum'
who cleans, and cooks and has to look after you all the time
she may not get any time to herself
to remind herself who she is, the person and not just the mum or the wife
you should talk to her
explain that what she does and says hurt you a lot
tell her how much, tell her you cry because of it, tell her you dont understand whats happening or why its happening, tell her you feel she doesn't love you or shes mad at you or that she wants you to be someone else this perfect daughter.
and explain that if shes upset over something, she can talk to you about it
she can talk to you about anything
that you want listen and to help if you can, in any small way you can, because you love her and you will be there to listen if she just wants to get it out
that you dont want her to feel sad, or unhappy, or mad, or bad
you want her to be happy
remember that she loves you
anything she does and says is not directed at you, its directed at her life, at herself, at her dreams and hopes being unfulfilled
id suggest a girly night in for you both, arrange one night a week,
get to know each other
not just as mother and daughter
but as people and as friends too
have fun together, watch a girly movie, do a make over, order a pizza
talk
go do some exciting thing together,
take a flight in a balloon, something out of the ordinary to remind her life can be good/great, fun, and exciting for her too
get her a gift
take her out
tell her you always appreciate everything she does for you, everything shes done for you
because she will need to hear that from you and tell her how much you love her
she does not want 'the perfect daughter', she is just unhappy at the moment and taking it out on you and i bet she doesn't realise how much it hurts you
2007-09-17 09:43:54 · answer #1 · answered by froufrou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you are in a very very difficult situation and you need help now. It would appear that your Mother may be going through some emotional or mental difficulties that have nothing to do with you. You need to enlist the help of a family counsellor. Start with the student services department of your college to see if there are any services that you can access. Have you had a chance to sit down at a time when your mother is not feeling angry and quietly going over what are her issues of concern? It seems that you are doing everything that every parent would be proud of: going to school full time while working part time and you are only 20 years old; a lot of time ahead for boyfriends and relationships. I cannot understand any parent turning on their daughter for breaking up with a boyfriend. Could she have been living vicariously through you? Good luck to you and hope that you are able to either get a student loan so that you can finish school and live on your own, or get some family counselling so that your current living condition is at least bearable.
2016-05-17 06:42:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is tough being a parent. We have bad days too. And often say and do things we dont mean just like you do. Sounds like she may have a few issues to work out on her own. How about asking her if you could help in some way. sure she would appreciate it.
2007-09-17 10:01:48 · answer #3 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she starts , best thing to do is walk away ! If she comes after you go visit a friend or maybe a relative
If it gets too out of hand , call the police on her ..And tell them , You need some one to talk , to her so that things cool down!
2007-09-17 09:47:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried sitting down with her and telling her how you feel? Just say, "Mom, I'm afraid we're not as close as I'd like to be. When you say things like ______, it makes me feel ____." All you can do is try to get it out in the open.
2007-09-17 09:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. Mimsie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Actually, your mother is a functional retarded who shouldn't have had kids.... Literally.
Raising a human being is not a responsability that many people are able to handle.
Are you relating self worth to violence?
2013-10-20 17:13:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋