Why am i not a bridesmaid?

Question

My sister (33) is getting married in April 2008 and she has asked my younger sister (38) to be her bridesmaid but not me (43). Should she have asked me? Should i be upset? Or am i too old? (I am a young 43 year old, and am not ugly!!).

I do feel left out though!!

Answer 1

Probally she wants her wedding party to be around her own age and you will stuck out from the others age wise.

I've never been a bridesmaid. I would probally stick out too much, probally they think that I will steal their thunder. Whatever. It doesn't hurt my feelings.

Think about it this way, you can actually spend $200 dollars in a dress that you actually like.

Good luck

Answer 2

There are 3 girls in my family as well. My oldest sister had both my other sister and I in her wedding, my middle sister just had my oldest sister and her best friend and I only had my best friend and another friend. Sometimes you just dont get invited to be in a wedding, its just the way the ball bounces. Dont ask her, its not polite. She has made her decision and you need to remember that the day is about her happiness, not yours. I understand that you are feeling a bit left out, but remember that she probably struggled with the decision, if you are married I am sure that you went through the same thing of "who do I ask". I am sure, by no means, is this meant to be a snub towards you, its just the way things worked out. I'm sorry to pull this card, but its time for you to act like a 43 year old and accept the decision gracefully and never mention to anyone (save your husband) that your feelings were hurt by her choosing someone else over you, because it will not make the nicest light shine on you.
Be happy for your sister regardless of whether you stand up there or not and help out in any way you can. She's alot younger than you and will probably greatfully accept any help and advice you can give.

Answer 3

When my sisters (plural) got married I refused point blank to be bridesmaid!!! I've never been much of a one for dressing up and I was dreading them asking me to wear something frilly. In the end I was the organist instead (which was MUCH more preferable!). So I was able to see the weddings from right up close AND at my younger sister's wedding, stand on the footpedal (by accident) letting off a huge PARP right when the vicar asked if there was anybody who knew a reason why these two shouldn't be married together. Speak now or hold your .....

PAAAAAAAARP!!!

I know.... Sad, Infantile behaviour, but I just couldn't help myself!!!!

No, don't feel left out. Enjoy the service and rejoice in your sister's happiness.

Answer 4

First of all it is your sisters wedding and she has the right to ask whoever she wants to do whatever she wants, it is your job as her sister to support her.

More importantly if you don't have to be a bridesmaid you can concentrate on partying it up and having a good time, just enjoy the day and let your sister enjoy it as well without feeling guilty about not asking you to be a bridesmaid!!.

Don't feel left out just feel happy for her on her big day.

Answer 5

It might be that there is not room for everyone and the bride may feel closer to the 38 year old sister since they are closer in age. Since you are older she may not feel that she is as close to you. I am getting married in August next year and had to deal with the same thing with my cousins (I am an only child). I have too many cousins to let them all be bridesmaids, so I had to pick the ones that I feel I am closer too. But at the same time I am trying to find ways my other cousins can be involved, too.

If you feel that bad about it, maybe you should talk to your siter and find out why she did not pick you and volunteer to help in other ways if you can.

Answer 6

There are 5 girls in my family. I am the youngest. I am marrying soon (for the second time around) and I am
only having one attendant. She will be my 44 year old sister. She is 9 years older than me but we are close and a lot
closer than I am to my other sisters.
Sorry but maybe she is only able to have the one bridesmaid and she has chosen the one she is closest to?
The only way to know is to ask her.....

Answer 7

Maybe she thought that you might mot want to be bridesmaid because of your age? Or else maybe she just wants to have one bridesmaid and asked your younger sister. Talk to her and find out the reason why she didn't ask you, you won't know unless you ask.

Answer 8

Consider it a blessing. Now you can sit back, relax, and enjoy being a guest.

But if it's that big a deal, just ask her. A ten year difference is a lot. Maybe she just doesn't feel that close to you. You were already out the house when she was growing up. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just how it is when siblings have a huge age difference.

My fiance has an older brother that's eight years older, he's not close to him and he has a family, so he figured his brother has a enough on his plate already. And his brother is very cool with that.

Answer 9

I'm getting married in may. I have no sisters but my fiance has 4. I'm only having the oldest one, the one I'm closest too as a maid of honor. If you are hurt, speak to your sister, approach her by letting her know you want to be involved in her wedding to help give her a great day.

Answer 10

I thought people picked bridesmaids based on how close they were, not on their age. Shows how much I know... Perhaps you and your sister are not that close? I think, it is completely up to your sister, and it would serve no purpose for you to be upset over this.

Answer 11

Gee, same blood, same family, I would feel left out too. Perhaps you two have grown apart, or she only has the money to have one bridesmaid up there. I would mention it to her, ask her why? She may have felt that you did not want to be a bridesmaid, and if you clear up that confusion, you may be one for the wedding. But communicate!