Is it really wrong or is it a matter of personal opinion/value?

Question

I am currently talking to my bestfriend's brother. I know that it won't be anything serious, but I enjoy spending time with him. He may have alterior motives, but he's been pretty genuine so far. The problem my friends all judge me because it's supposedly wrong for me to be talking to him. My question is, is it really wrong to hook up with your friend's brother even though you share an attraction, or is it just a personal thing where some people say its a NO NO and others its OKay?

Answer 1

It will eventually go further, if you are not careful. If you are serious, then nothing is wrong, but if it just a fling, then you shouldn't.

Answer 2

I don't think there's anything wrong with it if you are old enough and he's not too much older than you. I mean, I hooked up with my friends bro. (but i am 19 how old are you?) But she wasn't my best friend. I know that I wouldn't want my bro hooking up with my best friend though, because if the relationship doesn't go well than it will cause strains in the friendship. So just be friends until you're older, than if you still have feelings for each other than if she is your best friend she won't wanna stand in your way for a chance at love =)

Answer 3

"Is it really wrong or is it a matter of personal opinion/value?"
is a genuine philosophical question about a lot of things. Basically, if it doesn't hurt anyone else, then it isn't wrong. Does it really hurt your best friend in some way, or is it just strange for her? I don't think you're doing anything wrong. You and your best friend's brother are both enjoying yourselves, and I don't think any of your friends are being hurt. Maybe if they're judging you like this, they're not really good friends.

Answer 4

Date who you like, but be careful. The real issue is that breakups are rarely nice. Most of the time, unfortunately, they are ugly. If you decide to date her brother and you break up, she may feel that she is caught in the middle, and has to choose between you and her brother. That's never a good situation to find yourself in. You don't want her to have to deal with that issue, and you certainly don't want to lose a friend. If I were you, I'd talk to her about it, and I would be careful to be a good friend to her brother. If things don't work out, keep it light, and let them both know that you enjoy the friendship, and you really don't want to cause drama by adding a relationship to the mix.

Answer 5

I am assuming that your "best friend" is another female, & not a boyfriend who might be jealous over your relationship with another guy (even if it's his brother).

I don't understand how anything could be considered taboo about it. We meet people we like & want to share our time with through all kinds of sources, & close family members of our friends is just simply one of them.

If your friends are telling you what you should, or shouldn't do for no other reason than "it just isn't done" then I would say do what YOU feel is right, & forget about every one elses personal opinion.

Answer 6

It depends WHY it's supposedly "wrong."
Look objectively at the potential harm that could be caused by this situation (to do this you will have to assume the worst possible case, instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming he's a good guy).
Assume that he's secretly an unethical jerk - what is the worst thing that can happen from a developing relationship between the two of you? What is it about the relationship that your friends object to? Is there any fair and logical basis to their argument?

To determine if something is "wrong", look at who is harmed and who benefits from it.

Answer 7

This is one of those touchy subjects in life.

Here's the way I think it should be handled.

1. Talk to your friend about how she would feel about you two hooking up, it could happen.

2. If she's okay with it, you have to ask her what will happen if you two break up. Will she be mad at you? Will you be able to still hang out at her place?

3. Ask yourself if you are ready to take the chance on losing your friend. It could happen. If she's not okay with it and you go out with him anyway, your friendship could be over.

4. Ask yourself if you'll treat your friend differently if you and her brother hook up, then break-up....it won't be fair to her if she's okay with all this.

It's really about respect for your friends feelings and not wanting friendships to be in jeopardy. Sometimes things work out better if everyone involved is older and more mature, but not always. Good luck deciding what to do.

Answer 8

I don't think it's wrong, and if your friend and your other friends all judge you and condamn the relationship, they should all get a life and start growing up. It's not like he's YOUR brother so why should it matter? A lot of relationships happen through introductions of friends and family and in your case, it's no exception either. Ignore those people and find yourself some real friends.

Answer 9

I am trying to figure out the issue here...is your best friend a guy and he has a brother? If thats the case and it would bother your friend, ask yourself why? Would you stand in the way of your best friend being happy by dating someone other than you?

If your friend wants to get mad because you aren't physically attracted to that person...well, they aren't your friend.

Thats why I've always said that its nearly impossible for guys and girls to be friends when they are younger (under 22-25). Yes, there are exceptions, but by and large its a case of one wanting more than the other.

Answer 10

Well technically it can damage the relationship between you and your friend, but this is really something that you should talk about with them before anything takes place. And when you enter into any type of relationship with the sibling of a friend you have to as yourself, am I willing to lose a friend over this? Its a touchy thing...

Answer 11

Nothing at all wrong with hooking up with the brother of a friend.