Paying for dates?

Question

I know it's chivalrous for the guy to pay every single time. However, shouldn't the female at least offer every once in a while?

What if the guy doesn't have money to spend like THAT all the time?

I read this chain letter once on myspace that said girls use the money they don't spend on dates for presents for the guy. Is this true?

-more questions added as they come up.

Answer 1

When I first start dating a dude, I like them to pay for atleast the first three dates. After I see they are willing to, I take them out for a special night. I've actually had some guys tell me they didnt' want me to pay, they prefer taking me out. But i've had others tell me that is the best thing I could have done! Either way, I think it's whoever asks the person on a date. If you don't have money "like that" then why not do something cheaper? Like walks in a nice park, or go carts or blockbuster? I do pretty well for myself, but I refuse to pay for dates before the first 3. Why? Cause I don't want them expecting me to do it all the time. And 2...it shows genuine interest.

Answer 2

it's a matter of personal choice, sugar...some guys prefer 2 pay all the time 4 whatever reason, maybe they were raised that way, or some of them do it as a control mechanism, thinkin the female now "owes" them somethin...other guys like 2 go dutch and a lot of females don't mind that...still other guys would prefer 2 b taken care of (a lot of guys i date r always broke and know i will feed them at the very least)...if the guy doesn't have money 2 spend like that all the time, probably best 2 just b honest with the girl if she's buggin about goin out a lot...if she really likes u, she may offer 2 chip in or pay every once in a while...maybe she'll even invite u 2 dinner...of course, u could always come up with a way 2 earn some money if u want 2 treat all the time...lastly, no, girls will not necessarily use the money they would save by not payin on a date 2 buy u presents; they might spend it on themselves instead...depends on the girl...sugar, u seem like a guy who needs black and white answers, but, unfortunately, that tends 2 b unrealistic...lots of gray areas out there 2...as u well know, folks differ in their beliefs, and the only "right" answer is the 1 that works 4 u, makes u feel comfortable...nothin wrong with gatherin points of view, tho; that's what we're all here 4...good luck ;o)

Answer 3

well personally, i think it's really up to both the guy and the girl. i don't think the guy should pay every time. Maybe sometimes I'd like it if we split the cost, go 'dutch' and if the guy doesn't have the money to spend like THAT all the time, then it would depend on the girl, if she's materialistic.. maybe she'd care but if you get a girl that doesn't care too much about what you guys do then that's even better! I'm sure a girl that doesn't care too much about if you have money to pay all the time she's happy just staying at home and watching a movie [;

Answer 4

It depends on the relationship and the financial situation of the two. If you ask a girl out then you pay, if it is a regular relationship the girl should offer to pay sometimes if everything is equal. She can also invite you over to her house for dinner, offer to take you out or buy tickets to an event to even things out in a relationship. But, the first date is paid for by the guy.

Answer 5

I agree with you. Ladies should take turns paying, especially if it's more than once a week that you're getting together. I offer to pay on every other date, or if I know he's low on funds, I just automatically pay without asking. Fair is fair.

You know what I always couldn't figure out? The women who expect the guy to pay every time are the first to spout feminist garbage concerning equality. What's up with that???

Answer 6

I think girls should pay but also think that the guy should just step up and say chick I don't have the money right now so if u could pay this time, just because the guy is taking the girl out doesn't mean he should pay all the time, what happen to girls, women stepping up and saying a baby u ain't gotta pay I got it; u just have to have a understanding- trust!!

Answer 7

I agree with everyone else. You should just go halfs on dates (Dutch), or you pay and she pays. It doesn't seem fair if women fight for all these equality rights and they still want you to pay for everything. The gift thing is only for special occasions, and unless you have a birthday coming up you're not getting a darn thing. Even then, the price of any gift couldn't compare to the total price of what you've dished out on dates. There could be payoff if you're getting some action from her, but you probobly wouldn't have brought it up if you were getting laid. So you should opt for halfsies whenever possible. Good Luck

Answer 8

That isn't always true about spending money they save on gifts. How many girls are you dating?
There are many things to do that don't cost a lot...a picnic, a movie with popcorn at home, a festival, dollar movies and the list goes on.
If you have dated one girl long enough yes she can offer. Oh and whats long enough...I would say after the 5-8th date.

Answer 9

I know it seems like a burden to always have to pay for your date but as you said it is tradition. Most women will offer to split the bill but you should still pay for the meal.

If you are unable to cover the cost of the date then you do need to explain this to her and she will most likely understand. If she has already agreed to go on a date with you then that means she likes you and should be willing to understand your situation.

Answer 10

You should take turns or go dutch. Its sweet and a nice gesture to pay for the first date, but after that it gets expensive! I don't think that myspace comment is true and even if it is, wouldn't that be like buying yourself gifts? I don't get how that's a good trade off.