I used to think I was just crazy, there was no way my whole family one one side could just despise me but I feel now i am not crazy.
They all are a bunch of alcholics, drug addicts or are incredibly self consumed people.
The problem is up until now I could handle it, but the older I get. I am now 28 the more it effects me when they hurt me.
So my question is, if you were me would you just completly shut them all out of your life. I know they will never change.
2007-09-17 06:31:40 · 12 answers · asked by JnC 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes, I would completely stay away from them. You need to keep yourself around positive people and a positive environment.
If they can't provide this, you owe them nothing. Family or not, sorry I know this sounds harsh, but look what they are doing to you !!
If you aren't hurting anyone. live your life in a respectful manner, who are they to judge?
Even if you made a few mistakes in the past, everyone does, so just learn from your mistakes and move on.
You are right, they will prob. never change, unless you stand up for yourself and they start respecting you. If they don't they leave you with no other choice but to not contact them anymore.
Make sure you think it through, tell them how you feel and if they can't respect you, don't expect anything back in return.
Good luck, I know it's hard because we are so focused on family life and values, but not every family is perfect and you are not alone. It's only the ones that still talk to each other, will condemn the ones that don't have it as lucky as they do. And believe me, even they talk bad about each other behind each others back, but put them together and they look like the Cleaver family, just a bunch of hypocrites in my book.
2007-09-17 06:54:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can never complete shut them out but i would shut them out as much as possible!
but look at teh scourse that is hurting you..
If some one you admire called you a brat woudl that effect you more or less then a drug addict?
as well i have some family on my side that is well lets just say i don't agree with there lifestyle! or there ways! I don't go see them often may be 1 time a year!
they try to drag me down and I just wont' let it happend because i'll ignore them and go over what is imporatnt to me if i m spedding time!
or i just oh crap i forgot i have another meeting with someone else got to run!
or i just leave! tehy can winnne all they want! i have the choice to listen to it or not!
don't let there words get to you step up be the stronger human!
btw i'm 28 and have a depressed mother who talkes about her self 247 she still don't get it... she uses statements like well iw oudln't do that so why would this other human!
one tracked mind! I love her to peices but i limit my time with her so she don't bring me down as well talking about how everything is jacked uip!
lol
Humans what can you do!
2007-09-17 07:34:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to look at how cutting them out of your life will affect you. If you talk to your mom everyday, then this would be a big adjustment. If it is just every now and then, the wall will not hurt you as much.
Look at you and how you will become a better person by standing up for yourself and bettering your life.
I would not cut them out completely, but definitely take steps to keep your business and personal life private.
Good Luck.
2007-09-17 09:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by kam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are convinced that they will never change, then yes you can shut them out if all they do is make you hurt, you don't have to have contact with them. Unfortunately, as they say, you can't choose your family, but you can certainly choose whether it's healthy for you to associate with them!! A good family should build you up, not drag you down. If they aren't doing that, then cut them out of your life!!
2007-09-17 06:46:50 · answer #4 · answered by Beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did. My family is a bunch of redneck moochers who think that because I live in a proper house without wheels, I'm rich. They were always asking to borrow money. I moved and didn't leave my phone number. I call them once or twice a year and block my number.
2007-09-17 06:39:50 · answer #5 · answered by Allison P 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to see the movie, "Stewart Saves His Family". Self-help guru Stewart Smalley provides all the answers for this delicate situation
2007-09-17 06:40:57 · answer #6 · answered by 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot change other people, you can only change yourself. Stop looking for validity from people who are damaged and start living your own life. If that means you hold them at arms length, then do so. No one can hurt you unless you let them.
2007-09-17 06:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave and start over without them,,i m sure u will survive coz u r older enough to take care of ur self!!
best wishes to u and to ur future life.
2007-09-17 06:41:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are going through if you shut them out of your life and something were to happen you might feel bad maybe try counseling
2007-09-17 06:53:57 · answer #9 · answered by moringurl20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't shut them completely out of your life because they are your family after all. All you can do is put up with them. We can't choose our family. We're kinda stuck with them.
2007-09-17 06:39:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋