like, even now. i have this fear in the back of my mind that he;ll just come home from NJ(work 90min away) and just start slappingme, and maybe put me in the hospital...
i was hit wheni was little, butit's stoped. and i was only hitif i did sometnign annoying(play with windowns, tye strings acros the house, ect) but no worth being hit over(notging is though). More like, a, STOP thAT kindof thjing.
how can i stop the fears? i cant leave, i'm only 13, so, that aint an option. and neither is tellingmy mom b/c i have and she thinks it BS.
2007-09-17 05:59:31 · 11 answers · asked by Crazygirl ♥ aka GT 6 in Health ➔ Mental Health
It's called "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder".
It comes from experiencing stressors inconsistently and
unexpectedly.
It can be complicated by feelings of guilt- if you feel guilty
(which a lot of abused people do,) you subconsciously
expect to be assaulted, especially because these
assaults came at times when it was inappropriate.
The fact that the 'punishment' you recieved was too severe
for what you had done left your brain feeling defensive and you feel like how you are treated is beyond you control.
Also, you seem to have a fear of your father that may be deeper than past injustices.
You may be feeling "bad vibes" from him that he doesn't
even know he's putting out.
You are young and may not recognise your instincts but you need to follow them.
I don't know you but I do know that statistically there's a very
good chance that you're experiencing subconscious
urges toward self-preservation (saving yourself).
Because it's a parent you fight or won't admit these urges, so
they come out as PST Disorder.
Please do me a favor: You're 13. You're old enough to understand that if no one's gonna listen to you, it's up to you to take as best care of yourself as you can.
Do Not Allow yourself to be alone with your father at any time.
He's creeping you out and you need to trust yourself.
The only way to stop the fears is to have a plan.
That plan should be to always leave yourself a way to escape.
You have to stop focusing on anyone but yourself.
Take care, sweetie.
You're not "nuts", it's a real and legitimate stress disorder.
If you trust a counselor at school go to them.
2007-09-17 06:21:24 · answer #1 · answered by Mimi B 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Spnkitman: Um...wow. Yeah, I'm sure shes scared of getting hit because she wants attention. I'm sure if that was the case, she'd be out actually causing problems, and being a delinquent, instead of making honor roll and all that.
Its normal that you would still feel a little frightened about this. For now, I think you just need a friend o talk it out with. If you still feel so anxious about him, then you might even want to look into therapy...if you think you cant afford it, there are all sorts of programs. You might have some deep issues, and maybe the only way for you to get over this is to get some help. Even if its just a school councilor or something.
I think its really wrong that your mom thinks your lying....but I get the feeling, things have happened to me, and my mom didnt even listen, and now that everything is all out in the open she is trying to act like she did do something back then. Thats why I could never stand living with her, she has serious mental issues, she is a liar and manipulator. No matter how much a druggy, alcoholic, and plain old neglectful my father is, I still would rather live with him.
Hope this all works out for ya!
EDIT: Embee really has a point. That was what I was trying to get at, but she obviously know more about it.
2007-09-17 06:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs Adorkable 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your father still says bad things to you and makes horrible facial expressions, tells you things like you're not normal pisses you off all the time then think about leaving. I know kids that get so abused they cant leave home at 18 cause they are so beaten down they cant work. If you say enough stuff to the right people CPS you can get removed from the home and have foster parents. I dont know what boystown does but 7-20 more years of abuse is not worth it and you may get trapped for life, and be too tired to leave...and if this is not exactly your case I hope that anyone else in this situation will leave soon.
2007-09-17 08:39:42 · answer #3 · answered by theroadwetake 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a terrible way to have to remember your dad! Are there no other warm, cozy experiences with him you can substitute for this depressing recollection? I am a father, and a grandfather, and I would hate it if my children remembered me like that.
Could you not just take it to him, along with a cup of cocoa or coffee when he gets home and is relaxed, as a real problem and tell him you needed reassurance he won't behave like that because it frightens you. It is all apart of the reasoning that if you have a fear the best way to get over that fear is to face it head on.
I get the impression you and your dad are not too close, am I right? Just try getting closer to him with kind greetings and gentle acts if this is true. You are old enough to start acting like and being treated like an adult now.
Good luck in your approach, good health, peace and love!
2007-09-17 06:38:37 · answer #4 · answered by Mad Mac 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is really strange, and it might not be related to anything, but I'm going to throw it out there anyhow because my gut is telling me to. When I was 13, I saw a made for T.V. movie about a girl my age who was sexually molested by her dad. I absolutely swear that nothing like that had happened to me (he was barely even around, always at work), but for some reason I was terrified for months that that was going to happen to me. I could barely sleep, and I didn't want to be near my dad at all during this time. The feeling lasted about a year. Before that movie, I had never even thought something like that could happen. Maybe something inside of us awakens at that age. Maybe our feelings of safety, our place in the world, and our ideas about our parents relationships shift. I suppose all this could be wrapped up in PTSD if you're on the sensitive and/or observant side. If what you're feeling is at all related to what I felt, it really ought to go away on its own soon. My issue was so weird... I'm much older now and I can still remember the feeling. So much chemical stuff happens in your brain at that age... and it all is so real at the time. Talk to someone you trust, so someone knows. It can't hurt and will probably make you feel better.
2007-09-17 06:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by scout out 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you shouldn't have to fell like that in your own house with your own family! (that's where your supposed to fell loved and safe!) If he hasn't hit you in a long time then you probably don't have anything to worry abouts! But it'd probably help to tell someone, since your mom doesn't believe you you could try a teacher or someone else who might care as well (I remember you said she seemed concerned with your shivering!). Then again, that'd probably be a bad idea if you think it'd make your dad mad if he ever found out, since he might hit you over it! Obviously I haven't met him so I wouldn't know, that's for you to decide, but it's an idea to consider!
2007-09-17 15:01:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is child abuse, and is totally unacceptable. Do you have any other family members that you could confide? The bad thing about contacting family services is that it could get blown out of proportion.
I agree with embee; it sounds as though you are suffering from PTSD. Men like this do not deserve kids.
2007-09-17 06:57:04 · answer #7 · answered by Oreo Schmoreo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is tough living with a person you are afraid of.
Please make an appointment with your school Guidance Counselor. You need to get help for yourself because you cannot talk to your mom because she thinks it's BS.
2007-09-17 06:30:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
talk to a teacher or counselor at school. 13 is a tough age, trust me it will get better.
2007-09-17 06:07:48 · answer #9 · answered by Angela C 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Go to an orphanage like boystown and sign yourself in.
2007-09-17 07:14:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋