One fine spring day,a farmer walks through his orchard to a nearby pond,carrying a bucket of fruit.Once there,he spies 2sexy young woman skinny-dipping.Spotting him,they duck down below the water so that only their heads are visible.
"We're not coming out until you leave!2shouts one of the girls.
Thinking on his feet,the farmer replies:"Oh,I' not here to see you two-just here to feed the pirahanas!"
MARITAL RELATIONS:
Mr Johnson and his secretary are on a 1st class flight.As they're nodding off for the night,the secretary,who has long had a crush on her boss,says in her most seductive voice,"I'm a little cold.Can I get under your blanket?"
Reading her signals clearly,the boss says,"How would you like to be Mrs Johnson for a while?"
"I'd love it!"the secretary,replies,jumping at the chance.
"Great,"Mr Johnson says,"then get your own damn blanket".
2007-09-17 05:45:55 · 14 answers · asked by Wonderstar 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
your talents are defo ruined here ..... give up your day job and go stand up stage i would pay to see you on your tour......... I'm gona tell ma mate Billy Connally bout you for his warm up act!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-09-18 00:03:37 · answer #1 · answered by richy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good.
1st one reminds me of the farmhand who fancied the farmer's daughter but who wasn't interested in him.
"I know what you should do." Advises the shepherd. "Every morning she goes down to the woods, sticks a carrot between the fence posts, takes of her undies, bends down and backs onto the carrot using it for sex. All you've got to do is be behind the fence and when she turns to back onto the carrot, whip it out and stick your d!ck through the gap. Then she'll have sex with you."
"Great idea." Said the farmhand "I'll try it."
Next morning the shepherd was tending his sheep when he saw the farmhand staggering back from the woods clutching his groin and sobbing in pain.
"Whatever is the matter?" Asks the farmer aghast.
"You b@stard." Hissed the farmhand. "You didn't tell me she peeled the carrot first!"
2nd one reminds me of the guy who said to his wife,
"Why can't you be like other women and moan when we have sex?"
"OK." She replies, "I will."
That night whilst they were at it she suddenly started shouting.
"You wanted me to moan. Well isn't it about time you painted the fence? And why is it always me who washes the pots after dinner? Why don't you take me out more like other men do with their wives? What about ........"
2007-09-17 06:05:25 · answer #2 · answered by quatt47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good 1 most husbands do exactly what Mr Johnson did.
2007-09-17 05:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by nkqh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awwwwwwwwwwww *melts* Puppy gets a kissy a hug and a star! ♥
2016-05-17 05:26:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both funny
the last time i heard the 2nd one it wasn't a 'damn' blanket
but you gotta be careful on here especially today. someone seems to have it in for a lot of us.
2007-09-17 06:09:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a good one
2007-09-17 06:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha.!!!
Great ones there Wonder Star.!!!
10/10.!!!
Cheers for a laugh.!!!
2007-09-17 18:30:45 · answer #7 · answered by JAM123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both are funny. My compliments to you of many jokes.
2007-09-17 06:18:13 · answer #8 · answered by Linda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol. very funny!! heres a star
2007-09-17 06:15:13 · answer #9 · answered by LoLo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They were funny
2007-09-17 05:50:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋