My fiance and I are doing a traditional wedding in a Methodist church, however I don't know if we want to do the unity candle or several readings, etc. I wanted it to be simple, but I'm getting opinions left and right about it that make it sound like that would be "weird" or "lacking" ? Do you think we need to throw other things in there? Or would it be ok to just have the vows, and one scripture reading per the pastor's requirements?
2007-09-17 04:51:08 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Unity candles, favors, entrance music for the a grandparents processional, programs, rsvp cards, save the dates, guestbooks, readings: these and so many more of the "must haves" coming at you aren't necessary. They are recent inventions of The Wedding Industry, created to gull you into buying more and more stuff!
Choose Miss Manners or Emily Post as your arbiter of what is essential. Do not be swayed by Modern Bride Magazine, theknot.com, and self-appointed experts. If Miss Manners doesn't tell you straight out that a unity candle cannot be omitted, then you are safe omitting it. Your own idea sounds great.
I'm not saying that's it's somehow morally wrong to go beyond the bare essentials in marrying -- if it makes you happy to give each guest a trinket printed with the date and your name, then go for it. I'm only pointing out that there is nothing "weird" or "lacking" about opting out of that sort of thing.
2007-09-17 06:01:12 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, we're not getting married in a church, so maybe that's a little different, but we're having a very short ceremony--about 15 minutes, including the processional and recessional. Our officiant will say some nice words about marriage, and we'll exchange our vows. Done. No readings, no unity ceremony, no long-winded sermons. That captures it for us. The exchange of vows is what the wedding means to us, so that's what we're doing. I can't imagine that people really like to sit around and watch a very long ceremony, anyway, but maybe they'll want enough to make it worth their while to have made the trip to church (our ceremony and reception are at the same place, so this won't be an issue for us). We haven't gotten any flack for our decision. I think you should do whatever you and your fiance want to.
2007-09-17 06:18:13 · answer #2 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you can do what you feel is right regarding this issue. Believe me, everyone will give you their 2 cents on everything wedding-related, and the unity candle thing is an extra in any church--it isn't part of any official ceremony, but it's a nice touch, so you absolutely don't have to do that. The readings aren't done at many weddings, yet the couples are just as married as those who have 10 readings...
2007-09-17 04:58:00 · answer #3 · answered by melouofs 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
We did not do the (stupid) candle lighting or readings. In my very personal opinion the whole "two becoming one" thing is hellarious and we both found it to be something we omitted from the ceremony.
Neither of us are into poetic readings at a wedding either, so we chose not to do that too.
People like thier traditions though..this is the one time in this Y!A section that I will say it is your wedding and you do what you want. The ceremony is the most personal of the wedding events and it should truly be what you want. You can make concessions in other areas, but the ceremony itself is what binds you as a couple forever - and you two should not have to bend on that one.
2007-09-17 07:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We didn't use a Unity Candle. We did a wine ceremony instead. We also didn't do vows...we had a very untraditional wedding and I actually got a lot of compliments. Nobody seemed to even notice what was missing, but the noticed what was said.
2007-09-17 05:10:48 · answer #5 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been to a lot of weddings and not one has had a reading. This summer I went to my first and only ceremony that included a unity candle. Don't include them if you don't want them. Personally I find long, drawn-out ceremonies boring and I'm sure I'm not the only one! I have never seen a reading done during a ceremony.
2007-09-17 05:04:50 · answer #6 · answered by tink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple is almost always more beautiful than fussy. I have never heard of a "unity candle" by the way. Leaving out a lot of the extraneous stuff would enable you to focus on what's really important and at the heart of your wedding : your vows to each other.
2007-09-17 06:59:02 · answer #7 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi and congratulations! Yes, that would be perfectly fine. My son and daughter-in-law DID NOT have a unity candle. They did have more scripture readings, though (3), but one is fine. I think making a ceremony simple is more elegant and meaningful than "throwing in" all the extras.
A reading, sermon, vows, a solo?......that is all that is needed. I think it sounds beautiful. Keep your idea as it is. It is not "weird." Whomever told you that is weird.
2007-09-17 07:32:57 · answer #8 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contrary to popular belief it is YOUR wedding day. It should be special to you and your fiance not everyone else. If you feel that you want less "fluff" in your ceremony then go for it!! Many people (not saying this is the case) give suggestions because they want to or wanted to have these things and listened to everyone else at the time & regretted doing that. Just remember it is your day & you can make it as simple or outrageous as you want. Simple to me does not sound the same as "cheap" or "trashy" it just means you are not into all the "extras" that some people feel are "have to haves". Enjoy the day & The rest of your lives together!!
2007-09-17 05:00:40 · answer #9 · answered by sugarbear0772 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not weird. That's what I'm doing. No unity candle, no speeches and no readings. Just straight to the point, short and sweet. I will have vows though.
Good luck
2007-09-17 05:24:28 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋