I'm 13 and my grandparents are going to have me circumcised. I don't want to. What can I do?

Question

OK, I have a really embarrassing and scary problem. My brother, sister and I live with my grandparents because my parents died in a car accident a couple years back. I am now 13; I have a 15-year-old sister, and a nine-year-old brother.

Last week I was in the tub and I was well, masturbating when my grandmother walked in and caught me. She ordered me out of the tub and made my sit in the living room floor in front of the whole family. She didn’t even let me get dressed. I was naked. My brother pointed out that I was hairy down there but my sister told him that happens to everyone in their teens but girls shave it off. Then my grandparents stared at her. Then my grandmother read from the Bible the story of Onan. She told me that what I had done was sinful. She said I needed paddeling. But my grandpa disagreed. I wish he would have just paddled me and got it over with. I'll have to continue with more details.

My grandfather said that I had too much temptation. He saw that I was uncircumcised and said I have many nerves that I don’t need. He told us most boys have their forskin cut off and it doesn’t feel as good without it. He then said that God made a covenant with Moses and that should be kept in our household. Then he asked my brother if he was also uncircumcised. He showed him that he was. He then said that to take away part of our temptation, to keep the covenant, and for health reasons we were getting circumcised. My grandmother made the appointment last Friday. The doctor told her that she was definitely doing the right thing because of it helps prevent STDs. We are both scheduled to get cut Thursday. My brother says he is excited because he will miss a few days at school.

But I don’t want to. It’s my body and I am a teenager now. I don’t want to lose my forskin because it feels good when touched. How can I get out of this mess?

Answer 1

Turn them in to child protective services, what they did to you (forced exhibition) is child abuse.

Answer 2

There is not anything improper with being circumcised, nor in in need of it performed at your age. However, do ensure that you've talked in element with anybody older whom you'll believe (mother or father, uncle, instructor, general practitioner) to make sure you recognize most likely why you desire it performed and what advantages you count on to get from being circumcised. There are so much absolutely clinical advantages, however for a few folks there can also be matters and on occasion a few risks. There will, of direction, be a interval of as much as a month while it's medication whilst there might be affliction to your penis - however this may increasingly go and has hardly ever been defined as honestly painful. Unless you've gotten a tremendous and instantaneous main issue together with your foreskin you are going to now not be equipped to also have a general practitioner appear at it and suggest with out parental consent (in spite of a significant main issue you can also want consent, relying on wherein you reside). To honestly have the circumcision operation you are going to want the consent of a minimum of one, and frequently each, of your mother and father. There may be the problem of the fee of a circumcision, which your mother and father will nearly absolutely must pay for you. If, after lengthy and cautious attention, you particularly desire a circumcision now then you are going to must speak in your mother and father - there is not any approach we will be able to suggest you easy methods to cross approximately this as each and every household dynamic is exclusive. Your best different choice is to attend till you're legally an grownup (18?) whilst you'll organise it for your self (and pay for it your self!) with out mother and father, or someone else, desiring to understand or agree.

Answer 3

Is this true? Sounds like child abuse.

yeah the foreskin makes masturbation better, in fact they used to do it to people to stop them from masturbating! But it didn't work...studies show circumcised guys actually masturbate MORE (quantity over quality I guess)

There was another question like this recently.
I don't think they can force you to get it done if it's not medically necessary. You are still a minor but I'm pretty sure they can't force cosmetic surgery upon you against your will.

Email me and I will try and send you the names of some lawyers if necessary. Or you can try and find a lawyer in your town or demand a "guardian ad litem" (they look after your interests' - not your guardians' or anyone else's).

If they do force it, make a HUGE fuss and get physical at the time. Tell the doctor you won't want it. No doctor would do it; they could lose their licence or be sued later. If they go ahead, you can sue.

Answer 4

If you can prove to a court that you are a responsible young adult person then you can stand up for your on rights as an individual and can say no to the procedure. You don't have to go through with it if you don't want to. As parental guardians I doubt by the law they can force you into it. It sounds more of a religious belief then anything else. Maybe you can talk to some other family members such as your uncles or aunts to help you out to have the procedure stopped. Besides it is your body and you have the right to reasonably request to not have something done to it that your not in agreement too have done.

If your not having unprotected sex with other people then you won't get any STD's or aids.

And Just and FYI, getting circumcised won't diminish your sexual desires. A friend of mine had that done and he kept on getting his wife pregnant anyway. He was still horny. You have to do that mentally in your heart and mind.

Answer 5

Your grandparents are fanatics who should not have custody of any children. You need to get out of that situation (living with them) ASAP but even more urgent is protecting yourself from their insistence that you have punitive surgery. Speak to a trusted adult -- teacher, neighbor, uncle. Make sure other people know that you do NOT want this done. Be very firm with any doctor that they take you to that you do NOT want to be circumcised!

Look in the telephone book for "American Civil Liberties Union" and call them as soon as you can. They will be able to tell you what your rights are in your state and how you can make sure those rights are respected. They might even put you in touch with a lawyer or an agency that will protect you and your siblings from your grandparents.

Refuse to get into the car to go to the clinic. If they trick you and tell you that you're going someplace else, refuse to get out of the car when you get there . Kick, scream, and make as much fuss as possible, and somebody will come to your assistance. Do not co-operate in any way with what they are trying to force on you!

Answer 6

tell the doctor you dont want it done. At 13 they should not be able to force you to get it done. You done need it done-a foreskin is natural. what they did to you is wrong and they should not have got you to be in front of your older 15 yo sister naked. Talk to a school councilor. I am a christian and I Left My son intact and so am i. If you look in the new testament it says that God will accept the circumcised AND the uncircumcised.

Answer 7

If I were you I would go to your school guidance counselor, and they should be able to help you get an attorney, or help to fight your grandparents on this. They can force you to get such a invasive procedure done if you don't want to. Although you are 13 years old you still have rights. If you don't want this done then I think you should tell someone so that they can get you as much help as possible. Go to your local police department if you have too. Good Luck

Answer 8

I can only advise you to protect your body by whatever means nessessery.

And your grandparents are a little out of date. Circumcision is the old testiment sign of the believer. The new one is baptism. And Dr. James Dobson says it's normal to masturbate and he is a Christian child psychologest.

Answer 9

Just tell the doctor you don't want the procedure. Since circumcision is an elective procedure you can NOT be forced to get it.

Personally I think this is a troll post. but that doesn't make my above statement any less true.

Answer 10

Seek the help of one of the community authorities such as Child Protective Services. It may be a sensitive subject for you, but you will find help there for you and for your sister. Do it now.

Answer 11

Let the Dr know that if he does this you plan to sue him for all he's worth the minute you turn 18