Hi,
I am getting married next year and would really like a Catholic wedding as I am from a Catholic family. The thing is, I live with my fiance so does this mean we can't have this kind of ceremony?
My mum has mentioned my wedding to her priest and he is very keen to organise things with us, but I am worried that I am doing something wrong and that he might actually come out and ask us if we are living/sleeping together, and that once we say yes, it means he won't let us get married in the church.
Does anyone know where we stand and how 'forbidden' this is? Thanks for your advice!
2007-09-17 02:16:59 · 13 answers · asked by Hotpink555 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I am an Agnostic, but I can tell you this. I have known many Catholics and they are all fine people. They are broadminded and very friendly. I think that your fear is over-riding your best interests. You need to meet with your priest and discuss your wedding. Then you will have your answer. I think that you will be pleasantly surprised.
From what I have observed, most couples nowdays, have lived together prior to marriage. So I'm sure that your situation will not be unique to the priest.
2007-09-17 02:27:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm raised a catholic... But not a practising one anymore, as I feel their whole attitude is out dated, such as the not living together, sleeping together, not using contraception view....
But, Im wondering, if you dont live by the rules of catholism, why do you want to make the biggest promise/vow of your life, in a place where you dont actually hold true the beliefs??
You'd most probably be permitted to go ahead and marry there, my uncle was a divorcee (which is another frowned upon group of society by catholic church) yet he remarried in a catholic church...So, I guess it depends how progressional the local parish is...
Im sorry if im sounding negative, I realise I do, but its just a wondering, cos to me, I want to get maried in a place because I repsect the establishment... I havent as yet found such a place, so may get married in a civil type enviornment..
But anyway, many many congratulations, I hope you have a really fantastic marriage together...
2007-09-17 02:25:40 · answer #2 · answered by KB 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm in Canada and I hear from my brothers that are living in the States that the Catholic Church here is much more liberal. Here it is no problem whatsoever. I think the attitude of most priest's is like, "well it's about time." So many people live together before marriage that here the church accepts it and is happy to see a couple finally make their vows before God. Isn't that the whole purpose of a church wedding? Wouldn't God want you to stop "living in sin"? ha, ha.
Congratulation and God Bless.
2007-09-17 02:29:05 · answer #3 · answered by Choqs 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this one. (At least this is what happened to my brother in law and his wife. Some priests may take a different approach.) He and his (now) wife lived together and she was like 5 months pregnant when they got married. They were told they could continue to live together but not have sex anymore until they got married. (I guess they said okay cause they did get married in a Catholic church. Not sure what they actually did and, of course, how's the priest going to know?)
2007-09-17 02:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by lotus4yoga 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only reasons you would not be able to have a Catholic wedding are if you had been married before and never had it annulled, or if one or the both of you are not Catholic, or if two people are of the same sex, or if you are attempting to marry someone underage.
You will probably have to go to confession before the wedding, though.
2007-09-17 02:23:20 · answer #5 · answered by harshmistressmoon 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
catholic here,,married Protestant,,had 2 children to him and together for 9 years before i married him,,,the only thing that was asked of me was to not cover my face with the veil,,and not wear true white,,which was OK with me, because i wasn't innocent and pure,,(obviously) if he has a problem with that say ,, I men no disrespect father ,, but my understanding is that the church has come long way ,, mabe find another priest if it is still a problem,,,shouldnt it be all about love anyway?
2007-09-17 02:33:38 · answer #6 · answered by mytic0420 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is up to the priest performing the ceremony. If it were me I would have them live seperatly for a short time before the wedding. But, That's just my view.
Since you are asking you must be concerned that what you doing is wrong. So don't expect God to accept it.
In order to recieve forgiveness for any wrongdoing you must repent. If you continue living together you are showing no remorse.
2007-09-17 02:25:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think as far as God is concerned you are already married so I can not see any reason for the church to refuse to make it legal. if you are worried ask first but I do not see a problem only you will have to promise to bring any children up as catholic.
2007-09-17 02:26:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you are sleeping together, you are doing something wrong.
I would suggest that the two of you separate until the wedding. If you cannot get separate residences, at least make your fiance sleep on the couch. This is what the priest will probably ask you to do anyway.
2007-09-17 02:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by Sldgman 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Meet the priest alone and explain to him,before hand..Now a days,priests understand such things and need not ask you both any such question.It's as simple as this.
2007-09-17 02:26:23 · answer #10 · answered by brkshandilya 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋