Hi! I tutor an older adolescent who is fighting with her parents about safe dating. Please help with these questions:
Is it reasonable or an un-necessary hassle to expect her to tell her parents information about men she is with? (Full name, phone number, maybe address or license plate number.)?
If she is a really good judge of character, how long must she know a man before getting into his car? (She reports that she can tell if she spends about two hours with him at a party or something.)
Is it reasonable to have a rule about dating older men? (Her parents were upset about a 33-yr-old, but she feels that she was mature enough to have good conversations with him.)
What rules and guidelines should a young woman set for herself regarding men?
Thank you for your help!
2007-09-17 01:01:16 · 8 answers · asked by eatcarrots 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
1.Information-yes that is reasonable...and as a matter of fact the parents should meet the guy too.
2.At least a couple weeks. Two hours is way too short. Any guy can act good for two hours. I'm sure there are thousands of abused(or dead) girls that would say she sounded great two hours before he hurt them...
3.Not only is it wrong to date an older guy...it's illegal(she is under 18, right). It's way to big a gap to make a connection. They will only have an unhealthy relationship...him for the sex and her for the money.
4.Well...from the above questions...I'd say a young woman should not be so arrogant to think that she knows all about men/guys/dating at such and early age.
2007-09-17 01:15:43 · answer #1 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't find it unresonable but maybe a little over protective. This day and age you can never be too careful.
Thats her discretion. What if her instincts are wrong? I never get in a car with someone unless I have hung out with them on at least two other occasions.
I am not sure how old she is but if her parents are concerned she should take it seriously. I am 25 and can have good conversations with a 60 year old but I wouldn't date/hang out with one.
As for her own guidelines that is for her to decide. She needs to think seriously about the things her parents have taught her and her morals. It's always better to be more cautious then to end up getting raped.
2007-09-17 01:09:12 · answer #2 · answered by GoldenButterflyKisses 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My rules of dating as an adult have always been:
1. Meet in a public place for lunch or an early dinner first and decide if you like their personality.
2. If I decide to go out with them again, I do a little homework. First, I call their place of employment to make sure that they are employed there at teh title they gave me. All you say is, "Do you have an accountant there by the name of John Smith?" If they put you through, then you're good. If you want to, you can do a criminal background check online for around $50. I find that it's worth it.
3. If the relationship gets serious, I always make them get tested for STD's.
If she is an adult, the parents really have no say in who she dates, but she shouldn't be so careless. It's good to know who you're with. There's a reason women are warned to be careful. My dad's best friend who is an attorney checked out one of my high school dates. Turns out, he abused his exwife and was much older than he told me. I thought I knew better, so my dad stepped in an protected me. It taught me a huge lesson.
2007-09-17 01:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by Allison P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it would be nice to know who is taking my daughter out, and two hours is not enough time to know someone. Sometimes it takes years, (if they want to hide problems they have) . What is a 33 year old doing with a young child, and if she is having help with school work , then she is still a child. You don't say how old she is, so it is hard to say what she should be doing. Different advice for different ages.
2007-09-17 01:21:03 · answer #4 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's dating 33-year-old men, then she isn't as wise as she thinks she is.
When I was a teen, I would have thought it outrageous and a violation of privacy because I thought I had it all figured out... and half the time I was doing things that would otherwise get me arrested/in trouble.
Now that I'm in my 30s and have a kid of my own, I think that it's extremely appropriate and reasonable to get as much information on friends and dates as possible. It's a good safety measure.
Basically, she needs to listen to her parents.
2007-09-17 01:10:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
so the deal with canada is that legally, the government and law inforcement cannot keep you from having an abortion anytime during your pregnancy , but you would be hard pressed to find a doctor to do it in the last trimester without a very good treat to the mother by continuing. statistics in 2005 showed that there were only 39 done in the third trimester in the whole country. also every year there are approximatly 1,032 late-term abortions done in the United States.
2016-05-17 04:27:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I generally side wiht the young person over the parents, but in this case, the parents are correct.
2007-09-17 01:11:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about this question?
Is she a legal adult 18+? or a minor?
If she is, then let her make her own decisions, experience is the best tutor!
2007-09-17 01:17:08 · answer #8 · answered by Matt L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋