So far this week my lovely daughter of 17 has told me me that she hopes my house burns down with me in it, and since she pays for her phone and the minutes she puts on it she can talk to whom ever she wants, which included the 'guy' that gave her a black eye a busted lip and a long scratch on her face alone with a broken front door and broke lights in my kitchen that I HAVE TO PAY FOR!!!.. (yes, I have called the cops on him and am pressing charges.)
The other day while we are at her P.O. office she proceeds to tell her po about the F*CHED up childhood she has had...
OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!! I look at her and ask about this and what was so F*CHED UP about it... ? NOTHING... She can't even come up with a a lie to go alone with this..
And people wonder why I want to sit on her head and punch her head into the carpet..
Ungreatful, pain in my A$$. God knows I love her to death but It may her death and not mine..
2007-09-17 00:41:28 · 35 answers · asked by LadyCatherine 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Of course I am not asking that many question but any idea's as to how to not kill her until she moves out like she says she is going to do when she is 18 in 3 months...
She works so I have stoped buying her food and what nots, like shampoo and stuff, yell at me and expect me to buy you crap, I don't think so.
I did buy her a car but she does NOT get it until she pays for the cost of the car. $100, but you better believe I am getting every penny out of her for it..
2007-09-17 00:45:41 · update #1
Firstly, in this day and age of "everything" that someone does was caused by some childhood incident(brought to us by those fine minds in "psycho babble" circles) and that no one is actually responsible for anything they do, because of their failed childhoods, I suggest that in the future, we follow more traditional lines of child-rearing such as "spar the rod, spoil the child". Before I get thousands of letters condemning my "abusive" attitude, I only believe that spanking a child's ***, is not a sin or abusive at all. All things must have moderation, but I'd hate to think where I might be today if I had never been spanked, reprimanded, or confined to my room for some time when I was a child. These supposed psychiatrists, who have brought us into the age of children shooting fellow children in schools and on the streets, without remorse, is due to the fact that we no longer hold the INDIVIDUAL responsible for their actions.
2007-09-17 00:59:49 · answer #1 · answered by graciouswolfe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that scares me, my children are 2 and 1; I'm already not looking forward to adolesence. Why does she hate you...why is she so mean? Maybe both of you can try to go to couseling together. Obviously there's something not right emotionally about a girl that wants to be with an abusive ******. Maybe she's gone through some things you don't even know about.
Also, where's her father in all of this? She needs to learn how to respect you, especially if she's living with you. Enough of all the verbal abuse; you both are damaging each other emotionally, and it's definitely not helping your relationship with one another. Apologize when you're in the wrong, and expect the same from her. Try to talk to her and just listen; you both need to be more understanding of one another, but she needs to realize that you are her parent and she can't talk to you (or about her messed up childhood) that way. Ask her why she's so persistent about talking to this guy, you're only trying to prevent her from getting hurt. Doesn't she care about herself enough to see that?
You need to lay down some rules and what you expect from her, and the consequences that will follow if she keeps being a problem for you. If she keeps up that crap tell her there will be a lot more that she can pay for besides her little cell phone bill when you decide to kick her out. Don't threaten her, tell her what's expected and stick to the punishments!
Good luck!
2007-09-17 00:59:03 · answer #2 · answered by azure 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
has she yet told you what was so fu**ed up bout her childhood?
every parent should keep in mind that they have a duty to give there child something to go to therapy over so it might as well be a good one IMO LOL
while she is under your roof it is your rules and tell her that, your home your the law in there not her she thinks that she knows every thing but she has a lot to go before even close to that as we all know :)
OK so she works stop paying for everything then. pay nothing for her make her pay rent and so forth nothing wrong with that by the sounds of it she has no respect for what you have given her anyway so why keep giving it to her.
while you may not be able to ground her you can still stop her in many thing as she is still not able to sign a contract and so legally i think that you might be able to even stop her from working.
while she is under 18 you own her a$$ and so you can do anything you wont to her when this is taken to the extremes you can legally stop her from buying food and drinks so just remind her of that fact!
also where i am anyway child service can legally keep the kid till they are 21 and we have age of majority at 18 not like the USA of 21 for the most part
2007-09-17 01:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to put "the curse" on her and wish upon her a child like herself and see how it pans out. Isn't that the mothers last laugh?? I am now a mother, I have a 3yo and a 9mo my 3yo daughter is a right little miss, and some of the stuff that comes outta her mouth makes me wonder if she is 3 or 15, lol. But I guess she is just repeating things I have said in same tone of voice and everything, makes me blush when we are out in public, lol, no swearing but she sounds like a grown up. Luckily for me my 9mo boy is only saying mum and dad, but soon enough it will be "can I have the keys to the car??" I am not looking forward to teenage years.
If she cannot abide by your rules tell her to get a job and move out?! Maybe enough to pull her back into line (for 5 mins, lol) other than that I don't know haven't got there yet, still tryin to work out haw to discipline a 3 yo, lol
Good luck.
2007-09-17 00:51:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I like what azure had to say. I'm sure this is hard. I haven't been in your shoes yet, I have a 9 year old, 2 year old, and one on the way. My mom went through something similar with my sister. Basically, if you allow the fighting between you to continue, that boyfriend of hers will continue to win. He may be hitting her, but he, in her eyes, is also giving her love between those episodes. You need to let her know how loved she is and rebuild your relationship. My mom was also able to take out a restraining order against him. Anytime she caught them together she get my sister to leave with her because she knew my sister didn't want to see him get arrested. There was always an argument, but she wasn't getting hit. Try finding a place within yourself that makes you calm, listen to what she says (bad and good), and let her know the unconditional love of her mother. It may take going to counseling and I would suggest it, but this too shall pass. My sister said she wouldn't participate, got there and wouldn't shut up. She really believes that what she has with her boyfriend is love, show her what real love is. Don't miss out on your future grandchildren and your future with your daughter over some teenage jerk. Good luck, you've got a long road ahead, but don't give up on her.
2007-09-17 01:24:19 · answer #5 · answered by mamasmurf_50 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its going to be hard. Because she thinks u r mean to her. But she is not going to listen. Some people are going to do what u do not want them to do. Also she only 17, she not grown and she is still your child and living in your house. Tell her no man should put his hand on her, if he do he does not love u or respect you at all and u need to leave him along before it is to late. Just be the mother u known to be and that all to it. All kids say things they do not mean. You are a mother and you have to save your baby girl. She still living in your house and I know u r still taking care of her. She just need to see. Good luck and I hope things get better for u.
2007-09-17 02:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by sexy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that you have a hard time. Why don't you sit and try to talk to her, try to explain how you feel about her, tell her how much you love her, and how much you wish that you knew what mistakes (she believes) you have made, so as to try to correct them... And tell her that she deserves better than a guy that hits her.
When you asked about her childhood, were you still in front of the PO? Because maybe she didn't want to talk in front of her PO.
Anyway, I hope this helped a little bit. You should seek help with a psychologist though. A good one. He will help you, and you will be able to help your child.
2007-09-17 00:58:48 · answer #7 · answered by overtherainbow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U both need to visit a psychiatrist. With this limited information nobody can help u, but u can tell all the details, includin her childhood and whatever has happened in that time, to a psychologist. This way u MAY find a clue why she has gone to be like this, and then u can solve the problem.
(she may have has some lacks in her childhood, as Froid says, and that might have caused such behavoiurs in this age.)
2007-09-17 00:55:58 · answer #8 · answered by maral namak 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time with your daughter. At least she is 17 and next year she will be an adult. If she isn't already out of your house at least you'll be able to kick her out then. I got kicked out, not because I was a bad daughter but because my mom needed someone to blame for her unhappiness. It DID however teach me how to take care of myself, how to pay bills, how to appreciate a full stomach and a warm place to sleep. It may indeed be the best thing for her to be out on her own. So take heart! Only
1 more year!!
2007-09-17 00:51:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Charge her rent. Might as well. She is working and will move out in 3 months, so let her get the feel for paying her own bills now. She will come around and start treating you better, let her pay her own car insurance as well.
Your to nice, nice guys, gals finish last, sad but true. Don't stress yourself over this. Kick her to the curb better yet.
:)
2007-09-17 00:51:20 · answer #10 · answered by . 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋