My daughter is a single mother of 3. Every weekend she wants to go out and party or go out with her friends. Always its a over niter. I am not too good with my health and all and its very hard on me. I also was a single parent of 4 and I never went anywhere. I love my grandchildren but I believe she should not go out so much. Thank you
2007-09-17 00:22:16 · 19 answers · asked by michele w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No its not fair to you and its not fair to the kids.I agree being a single mom is hard but,.there needs to be balance.
I just got into this topic with a friend of mine.I told her she was dropping her kid off everyweekend at dads she thought it was ok because she had her al week,Im like you know what the kid is only home five more years I would be dying to be with the kid every second of the day I could.
You need to explain to her that you need a life also and youve decided that you will babysit once a month or whatever you feel is fair..and she can take it or leave.Explain you love the kids but they are not yours.
Its a hard topic believe me my friend said tell me how you really feel..and got mad and didnt speak to me for while...but you know I think i was being true friend...and saying wake up and smell the roses kids arent around forever.They all leave us before we know it.
good luck
2007-09-17 01:45:18 · answer #1 · answered by hugsandhissyfits 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it will be difficult to make the right decision. You love your daughter, and your grandchildren as well. But the bottom line is, you are making it all possible for her to participate in this destructive behavior. You are a part of it when you babysit for her. It will take a while (probably a few months) but you need to force her to grow up. You cannot keep the truth from your grandchildren forever, and what about when they start asking questions about what mom is doing? This is not the way to raise children. You must put your foot down, and say that you will not be a part of it. It isn't "controlling" her, and you are not trying to manipulate her, it's just that you have to answer for yourself, and you can't let yourself be a part of it. Tell her as soon as she wants to do something constructive with her life, (like looking for good jobs, or going to school) you can help her with that, but if she needs a break, then she should be able to come back at a normal time -the same night, and be sober, and thankful that she has a mother who loves her and her children. You should feel honored at all times. Don't act out of guilt. Deep down you know what's right.
2007-09-17 00:36:50 · answer #2 · answered by M V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL you still are a single parent of four....sounds to me like you could use to go out. Do you enjoy dancing? If so, try a group class during the week and the dances at studios are a smoke free/non-alcohol.
Your daughter needs to get out too but what's up with all that partying when then are loads of things to do minus drinking and what not. Far as babysitting for her to go out and get into trouble.....the answer is within your post.
2007-09-17 01:19:35 · answer #3 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no it's not right. But you need to put your foot down. Those are not your children and you do not have to spend every weekend babysitting so she can go and party. She needs to understand that once she became a mother.... partying takes a backseat to her children. And you need to be the one to explain it to her. She made the choice to have children, so now she needs to understand that her social life is put on hold. Once in awhile is cool..... but not every damn weekend. That's just crazy.
I was a teenage mom and had 2 children by my 16th birthday. Once i got in high school, I wanted to go to parties every weekend too, and once i got 18 I wanted to go to the clubs and stuff...... but my mother and father was there to remind me that hey "these are yours, if they can't go.... sounds like you can't either". They would watch them sometimes.... but it wasn't no every weekend thing. You daughter needs to realize that once you have children, it's time to grow up and you can't dump yur responsibilities on someone else so you can be the life of the party.
Put your foot down and tell her no. remember people can only do to you what you allow them to do.
2007-09-17 00:54:51 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs Jackson - West 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That daughter of yours is getting a pretty good deal. BUT...she needs to stay home with her children. Perhaps she could go out once a month.
You need to learn how to say no. The world will not come to an end if you do.
Of course, all of that is me being nice. What I really think is that your daughter should not go out at all. She needs to stay home and raise her children. They are her responsibility...not yours. You have already raised your children.
2007-09-17 00:39:13 · answer #5 · answered by Ophelia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im a young mum of 2 im 21 and hav a 3 and a 1 yr old and i dont go out.... my mum want watch the girls and my sis only takes them if i hav a b/day party or somthin to go 2 so mayb so mayb 2/3 times a year... we ever take the girls on new years eve as alot of our friends hav kids the same age.... i think you did your job in being a good mum to your kids by givin up your life but now its your turn to live an your daughter to give up the partyin or clubbin an raise her own kids....
2007-09-17 01:13:21 · answer #6 · answered by angelz@princess265 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is very irresponible of her. She needs to be at home with her kids, Its okay to go out once and a while, but she has children and she needs to be responible for them not dump them off on you everyweekend. Tell her that you are not able to watch them every weekend all weeked. Tell her she can go one friday night and come get the kids my 11. She needs to see that its a privledge to go out, not an every weekend thing.
2007-09-17 01:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by Kerry O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time for you to put your foot down and tell her shes a mom now, so shes gonna have to cut back on her activities. Tell her you love your grand kids dearly but you refuse to watch them every weekend so she can do god knows what. Tell her you will watch them every other weekend but she has to pick them up the same night. Your daughter is taking advantage of your kindness, and its time to put an end to it
2007-09-17 00:34:00 · answer #8 · answered by daddynard1010 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no, they are her children, you have done your duty. I know you love your grandchildren, but when your daughter became a mother, going out was not an option on the list. Make her responsible, hey you go out, it is your turn to enjoy. God Bless.
2007-09-17 00:33:55 · answer #9 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not right if you don't feel it's right. I'm sure that with 4 children, you had to set limits. Just set a limit and tell her what it is (one weekend a month, or whatever). Then stick to it. It's your time now - you've done your bit and you have the right to choose to look after yourself.
2007-09-17 00:51:36 · answer #10 · answered by Katkin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋