My significant other has a 14 yr. old daughter, I have a 14 yr. old son. We are thinking about living together, but I just don't know how much hassle it's going to be with his daughter going back and forth every other week. He adores her, so presently she gets all his attention the week she's around (because we're in separate houses, we rarely see him, and hardly ever see her the week he has her), and her parents seem to compete with each other to keep her happy and entertained (holidays, vacations are split or have to be negoiated with the other parent). Already the kids don't like each other, so my question is: will this just be too much for me and my son? (I'm widowed.)
2007-09-16 21:02:32 · 6 answers · asked by LuckyEddie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She has daddy wrapped around her finger. Your son will get jealous that she is allowed to do anything she wants. You will become the rope in a tug of war between your partner and your son. The daughter will use any method possible including causing you and your partner trouble, in order to get her daddy's undivided attention when she is there. If she doesn't like what you say to her, she will tell daddy. If that does not work, she will tell mommy and mommy will make daddy's life pure hell. In turn you will be the one to suffer. Your household will be in constant chaos.
Been there, done that, have the diploma. Best idea is to wait until the children are grown. It will destroy your relationship!!!
2007-09-16 21:27:33 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a super hard question.....
To be honest and I really dont know how I am going to sound but here it goes...
It must be so hard for you to know that the kids dont like each other now and they are not even living together, but to tell you the truth it will be super hard for the girl to accept the situation that now her dad has a partner and that she has a kid her age. She is just way to used to her dad's attention all to herself.... and one of the worst things is that his parents have her so spoiled as well!! That doesnt make any things easy because as soon as your boyfriend tries to make some changes she is going to run to the grandparents and they are going o be in her side... even if they dont show it at first.
I would totally talk to him about the situation.... and well whenever he has her all that week you guys are gonna have to start hanging around together all week to see the reaction of the girl and more because she is a teenager and you know how teenagers are and more her being a girl!
If you think that this can be a good idea to see what you are getting yourself into do it NOW and talk to him about it because Yes you have a child too but her you dont have to put up with no dissapointments..... more because your kids life is on the spot too!!
I think that if you see that the girl is going to be ok or that she is not going to disrespect you or be jelous about you then I think your kid will understand better when you explain the situation to him.... because I bet he want to see you happy too!!
But if the girl is going to have an attitude more likely is that you and your boyfriend is going to have some serious problems.... more because she is 14.... she is not a little girl that might get used to you.....
Whatever happens..... remember that you know how much you can handle and that no one is going to make you do anything you dont want..... get whatever is best for you and your son <<< little selfish, but i bet your boyfriend is going to do whatever for his daughter too.
2007-09-17 04:26:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two decide to get married your marriage comes first...please consider that. As per your notes it seems *all* are doing a bit too much of allowing son and daughter to dictate including you. What happens when they are 25 and still assume none of you need a life?
2007-09-17 09:19:50 · answer #3 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but i think you nailed it your son will probably resent that situation,and the both of you would probably have to get used to being put on the back burner every other week,and when your son and his daughter argue and they will he'll show you both were his priorities lie,and that may be more trouble than its worth,so do you(and i dont mean to sound mean) realy think you would have a good future with him,sounds like him and his ex still have some issues
2007-09-17 04:12:49 · answer #4 · answered by jmcslob 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow! That's a toughie. There's bound to be a bit of resentment on her part, not to mention yours if he makes her the center of attention.
2007-09-17 04:46:02 · answer #5 · answered by collie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like second hand incest to me.... good parenting, cheers to you!!!
2007-09-17 04:20:46 · answer #6 · answered by simple kinda man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋