what would you have done when a nosey neighbour (but one) of a friend gets in your face?

Question

i have a friend, who has 5 dogs, 2 are old and cant do much so are no problem, 1 is 18 months, 1 is 6 months and the other is 4-5 years. the two "puppies" are no problem, but the 4-5 year old is very vocal, when happy or playing he cant help but bark, he doesnt know he is doing it. it is ONLY when playing, and when my friend leaves the house, and the other neighbours say he only barks for about 5 minutes in this situation. anyway i was at my friends house last night with my 2 dogs, and obviously, id just come in with the others so her dog was barking to say hello to us all. not constant barking, maybe 2-3 barks a minute, this was around 6 pm at night, so it was still light, and it was raining so its not like this lady was sat out in the garden having to listen to it all. within about 10-15 minutes, she was on the phone having a right go at my friend, telling her "she has to come home right now, (we were home) and see to her dogs who have been barking constantly for over a hour"

And started going on about “when you have so many dogs you cant afford to go out and live the highlife you have to stay in and look after them rather than neglect them” my friends dogs are treated like princes, only the best food, 3 meals a dog, walked every day, and a huge garden to play in, how can she say they are neglected.
At this I obviously get angry, one for saying they were neglected, and as I say, I had only been there for as I say 10-15 minutes anyway, and my friend assures me that the dogs had been asleep up until I had arrived as she had taken them for a 3 hour walk that morning and exhausted them out. This neighbour has been complaining about the noise from “all the dogs” for months now, going on about how they are all so noisy when there is only one of them that barks. And it has been getting more and more on my nerves how she complains constantly, and exaggerates everything. She is two faced anyway, she can act all nice one moment like your best friend, then go and

slag you off behind your back to another neighbour. One story, I had to leave my dog at my friends when we went shopping once, She phoned up within half a hour saying that my dog was howling constantly and getting “very upset, she is hyperventilating, and panicking, she can’t seem to get her breath at all she that upset and the neighbours from over the back have been screaming at her to shut up” so we just said, ok we’ll be there in a bit, when in fact we were right round the corner literally 1 minutes drive away from her house, we could hear the house from where we were stuck in traffic and couldn’t hear a single thing, got back and the dog was asleep inside the garden fence, no hyperventilating, no shortness of breath etc, so obviously this was completely fake, I went round to the neighbours who she said was complaining and they said they hadn’t heard anything. Well anyway, after other similar situations from this one, I was getting p-d off. And last night, when she phoned to

complain about the dog barking because we were there i had had enough and took my friends mobile off her and hung it up, when she tried calling it again, I diverted the call. Within around 2 minutes she was around hammering on the door, not in a friendly way either, having a go at my friend for hanging up on her, so I stepped out the door, shutting my friend in and started having a go back telling her that she needs to get her facts straight as it was my and not my friend etc etc, that she needs to grow up and get over it as I had only been there for 15 minutes, not a hour, and that the barking wasn’t even constant and that there was only one dogs barking not them all as she tried to say on the phone, she then starts screaming at me asking what gave me the right to hang up when it wasn’t my phone, so I screamed even louder, saying that when my friend doest want to talk to her, and hands me the phone I have the right to do what ever the hell I want.

At which she turned to my friend starts hurling abuse at her, which I promptly stopped her from doing as it was me she was fighting with not her, and she ended up storming away, and sending her husband round, by this point how ever, I was fully wound up, and he got as much screaming and fighting from me as she had. After 6months of two faced comments I was not backing down from this.

Ok, that was a long story, but my question is, did I do right? would you have stood up for your friend (who was agreeing with everything you said) just that she was too shy to stand up for herself? Or would you have left it? The guy ended up leaving an saying he was going to see my friends landlord, but we know nothing will come of this as my friends neighbours are under the same landlord and they have no complaints its just this neighbour but one. They have all said that they will tell the landlord so as well. Its just well yea, would you have done the same thing? Or left it?

Answer 1

The woman has severe psychological problems, and you are letting her get you wound up.

Get written statements from the other neighbors about the noisiness of the dogs. You may need them someday in court. Show them to her, and tell her she needs to stop exaggerating and start putting things into perspective. And get caller ID so you don't have to answer her calls anymore. Or screen them on the answering machine.

And don't yell at the poor husband. He has to live with her -- it's entirely possible he knows she is impossible to deal with.

You and your friend have to stop catering to her. Listen politely for 30 seconds or so, politely say, "I'm sorry the dogs have bothered you. But now I need to take care of them." Then hang up, or go in the house or whatever you need to do.

If you can, you might try and train the one dog to be less vocal. It *can* be very irritating, especially when one has emotional problems already, and too much time to dwell on them. (-: The life you save may be your own.

Good luck. And don't let her wind you up. If you think she's got no cause to complain, then don't let her. She may wind up calling the cops, the humane society or her lawyer, but she'll wind up looking like the crank -- especially if your other neighbors back you up. Be very good to your other neighbors (-:.

Answer 2

if your friend contacts The landlord and explains whats been going on and they don't have a problem with the dogs then tell your friend to try not to worry to much about it, i understand that this must be quite upsetting and frustrating for you both but at the end of day you both know that the dogs are now where as noisy as this neighbour keeps making out it sounds like they are just trying to cause trouble and intimidate your friend. were i live we have a gobby s**t how has got it in for us but if all they can do is shout their mouth off with getting the facts straight first, they are nothing but jealous of your friend and get some sort of sick kick out of trying to upset people. just try ignoring the abuse if you can. it could be worth getting a CCTV camera with sound recording on it so when your friend goes out they can record any noise from the house so when the neighbour complains again you can just say you have got the so called noise on tape and that might make them think before starting again

Answer 3

you did the completely right thing i would have done the same,if she cant get her facts straight and keep with them (and make them true) and then comes around yelling at you or hammering at your door what the hell are you ment to do other than yell back the truth?and sticking up for your friend was the right thing to,i would have lost it if someone yelled down the phone at my mates for somthing that wasnt all true and that she was half lying about,i probably would have slapped her ,WELL DONE

Answer 4

It is quite easy, and even fun to teach a dog not to bark when excited, or to bark quietly. If your friend would be interested to know how, have her email me.
I would have done the same as you did. Its like someone telling lies on your kids....