How can you be honest yet not lead him on, esp if he's the shy guy type?

Question

you've been friends with this girl for years and you've secretly liked her but never went for it b/c you thought the chances of being w. her were slim only to find out that after all this time, she felt the same way back - she's the first girl you fell in love but you two decided to stay friends and not rush (if it happens later, it happens) When things were going to get normal again, "life challenges" (death) and rumors/assumptions from friends made you two drift apart and it created tension BUT rather than giving up or seeking revenge, you two worked it out and everything is starting to be better than before, the relationship grew stronger.


the thing is we were both mutual in our feelings. Now that we're cool again, i don't know how he feels (SHY GUY type), so good at hiding things and for me, even if it's been a while and we are starting to be okay again, he will always be special to me and i'll always have strong feelings for him (i'm a "SHY GIRL" type) and like shy guys, i HATE rejection and i want that plan B IF anything were to change. I want to be honest and not hide that fact i care for him YET there's too much on my plate right now that i'd be selfish to him iI want a relationship now. And also, I don't know if he's gotten over me - maybe, maybe not...I want to be honest and show i care YET i don't wanna lead him on thinking i want a relationship

What do you think?

We're in college and i gave him his first kiss :) sooo yeah......

Answer 1

I think your making up excuses about why you shouldn't talk to him about your feelings. See did you notice what happen when you descide to stay "friends"... it destoried the relationship, why do you think that is? Because you can't separate love from friendship is not possible its not the way it works. DON'T LOOK TOWARDS SOCIETY FOR THE ANWSERS TO YOUR RELATIONSHIPS!!! This is soooo important. Realize that when you guys did that you forgot about the love, this destroied the bond, which destroied the friendship. Friendship and love go hand to hand, remember that also remember you can have a relationship without sexual commentment, get over that, thats selfish, and is one of the most selfish things we do in relationships. If your marriaged great, but don't forsake a good relationship just because you can't "comment" your time or your gentitals. NOW CALL HIM UP, CONFESS YOUR FEELINGS! And I grantee he'll ether do the same, or you'll learn a big lesson about whos worth loving and who isn't. Relationships don't have to be seen as being serious or not at all. There unique and are based on the individuals envovled, the worse thing we as humans ever did was force a template for the sack of social stablitiy, well look around do your think most people have stable relationships? But that aside if you don't have to much time each other THAT doesn't stop you from having a relationship, only YOU can do that, get what you can, and you'll get what you need. Now go, talk honeslty with him, make history, keep the friendship up, all the marriage, kiddos, sex, romance, is just extras we can throw on the unique relationship that can exsist between a man and a woman, but the friendship is love, the love is friendship you can't sacrafice one for the other without destroing both...