we have been divorced for 5 years. she has been with 4 other guys since we were apart. now she wants back with me. and we both love each other so much. but how do i get these guys out of my head? i know its the only way way we are going to make a go at this, which i so much want. we have been together for 25 years. high school sweethearts. but i vision her having sex with them. i just want it to work....for us.
2007-09-16 19:04:41 · 13 answers · asked by floridacat22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You knew about the other guys when you decided to get back with your ex wife,get over it.What she did when you were apart should not come into it now that you are trying to make a go of it.If you can not get it out of your head,get out of the relationship as it will not work.
2007-09-16 19:15:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What she did while you were apart is none of your business. What you did while you were apart is none of her business. Just remember that whenever you date someone or start a relationship with anyone they will have a history. It is called HISTORY because it is in the past. you need to let go of your past and her past. Start fresh as if you were never together or broken up before. That is the only way you will make the relationship work. If you don't you will hold resentments, and so will she, about the things that happened that to caused you to split and the things that happened after you split.
Going back after a break up is very difficult for both parties. If you treat it like a new relationship, you can make it work. If it becomes an extension of a previously unsuccessful relationship, it is destined be unsuccessful again.
2007-09-17 02:19:26 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well first off, did you have any other sexual relationships in that time. if so, then whats the problem? you were both separated. if not then it could be that you did still love her and couldnt bring yourself to get into a relationship with anyone else. its all a part of jealousy. yes its in the past and you can not change it, but what you are doing is looking at your relationship with her as she is yours. you two were high school sweethearts, first loves, first of other things. you had only her and she probably had only you. you dont like the fact that she has now been with other people. but like i said, it is in the past and you cant change the past. all you can do is push forward and build your relationship back up. there is no way to get rid of those thoughts or erase it from your memory. you just have to love her for who she is and accept her past now. you are just hurt at the fact that she has now been with four other guys. maybe in some way you are insecure about that, maybe you are different than them. but regardless, time will heal your heart and eventually it wont matter anymore. i wish you the best of luck!
2007-09-17 02:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by bn123 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say man but thats something in your subconcious mind that you just cant erase! Its going to have to take come kind of counseling and hypnosis of some sort to empty out those thoughts and make new ones! There are alot of doctors out there that offer this sort of help for these situations all you have to do is look and really be committed to getting the help you need. Other than that, it never goes away and it will never work!
2007-09-17 02:12:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you could forget the sex partners of your ex wife. She also can not do that. When ever she will not get pleasure from you, she will remember the guy who gave her the best sex.
So better not go for the ex wife. If you can not live without her, better think that you are her 5th or 6 th husband and try to enjoy life, like living and having sex with a prostitute.
2007-09-17 02:19:53 · answer #5 · answered by sunlight 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Do you want her back for her sex?, or for her?
You guys were apart; you shouldn't even ask her about her sex life.
Did you have sex with anyone else?
Did you expect her to be celibate, waiting for the day that you returned?
Get real.
2007-09-17 02:11:49 · answer #6 · answered by negrito con sabor 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Um..........I dont want to spoil anything but
4 guys in 5 years???
That's a lot of guys.
Im wondering (I dont know u at all obviously) if she will just end it with you after this second round as if she really cared about you............4 guys...............is pretty shocking in such a small amount of time................
Hunny id really consider going back with her......
thats coming from a smart lady......who understands women behaviour
x
2007-09-17 02:12:29 · answer #7 · answered by Synergy 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
wow 4 other guys? someone was having fun. wow you must be going through a really really really tough time right now. you have my sympathy. that's a difficult question to answer. if a person hasn't gone through your situation then they can't really help. but i'm in a s.h.i.t load of problems myself. because i'm applying to lawschool and believe me this last year of college is a HUGE pain in the a.s.s. but goodluck with your thing hope you work things out.
2007-09-17 02:13:58 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
just tell urself that you are better than them that's why you're wife chose to have you back.who knowsw, this maybe the truth.
2007-09-17 02:12:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its time for you to mature so what she has had other men its you now. Maybe you are not ready if you can't concentrate and focus on her.
2007-09-17 02:11:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋