love her. What do you think I should do to show her that I love her? It's just that I understand that she has gone through some though stuff , and despite all her good qualifies, she is still blind in a way. It's so weird, because I used to be so mad at her for not being there for me emotionally--but I totally forgive her and want her to feel loved like she deserves.
I'm 17 by the way.
2007-09-16 18:38:50 · 10 answers · asked by Tiffany 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You raise an interesting question here, how can you show her love when you really didn't like her for a long time. I think the best thing as you become a young adult that you can do as you grow older and wiser is to let your mother into your life and show her what you believe her to be blind in. Don't do it like a child though, show her as an adult and become friends with her. let her see you growing up and making choices and point out different things you want her to see or consider, but, in a constructive, non threatening way. I think that is what you are really looking for is for both of you to continue growing together as adults now and learning life together. Good luck, you can contact me if you wish.
2007-09-16 18:51:01 · answer #1 · answered by dancam1 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Everyone handles different situations in their lives in different ways. I'll bet your Mom did the best she could at the time. Don't believe all of those story book Mother and Daughter relationships you read about and see on TV, they are not how life really is most of the time.
You can't change the past, but you can stop spoiling your right nows by remembering the bad. Start today and make some good memories together. When you get to be a Mom, you can try to be that PERFECT Mom that you think exists.
Hopefully your children will realize you always did the best you could.
A bit of advice, try not to judge someone unless you have walked in their shoes so to speak. If you set down your judgement, maybe your Mom will be able to set down her guilt and you can make the most of the time you have left together.
2007-09-16 18:54:13 · answer #2 · answered by sunnydaze 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her what you just told us. If she has gone thru some hard times or perhaps she went thru a tough childhood and never really learned how love or be a good parent. I commend you ,and you appear to be VERY mature for your age since you are able to forgive her and move forward. Either talk to her in person or perhaps write her a letter and let her know that you have moved on and put all the past behind you and that you love her and are always there for her as well if she ever needs you or just needs someone to listen to her. As a mother of twin 17 yr old daughters myself, that would mean the world to me. You very well might be the one that starts to teach your mom what true, unconditional love is. Good luck and God bless you and your mom. X
2007-09-16 18:56:33 · answer #3 · answered by nikkigurl777 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's good! You're supposed to love your mother...she gave you life. I of all people know what a bad mother is like. I lived with her for half my life before I had to go away with my grandparents because of what she's done. I kicked her out of my life so long ago because I was so bitter. But I've forgiven after all these years, and I wish I could talk to her but I have no idea where she is. Be grateful your mom is still in your life, and tell her how you feel. Just sit and talk with her over lunch or something. Sometimes the smallest things mean the most to people =]
2007-09-16 18:44:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing. It took me a while to figure out that both my parents did the best they could with what they had. They weren't there for me in those things I considered important but I believe they were there for me in those things they considered important. They were each only capable of so much and I have learned to appreciate exactly what they did for me. I am the product of my upbringing and whatever shortcomings they had, I seemed to have turned out OK. If they had treated me any differently I wouldn't be who I am today. Get the movie Hope Floats and it explains that the most difficult thing (I hope) you ever have to do is get through your childhood. It's a chic flick but worth looking at just for a good look at the disappointments of childhood.
2007-09-16 18:47:24 · answer #5 · answered by towanda 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can understand what your saying... I used to be like that too... Parents are people too and they have there own problems... Your doing the right thing to leave the past issues alone and love your mom for who she is. Just do something special for her.... She already knows that you love her.. all moms do.
2007-09-16 18:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would print out your question and the nice answers people say about you being very mature and a giving person and let her read this. I'm sure she will cry. Sometimes just saying "I love you" means the most!
2007-09-16 18:45:29 · answer #7 · answered by Precious 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
take her out to dinner... tell her you want to mend your relationship and you love her...
I'm 17 too and I dont think my mom was a good mom... Shes been addicted to prescription pain killers since I was 9 and its caused lots of family problems... We have a rocky relationship sometimes, but we both work on it and its getting better...
Gossiping about boys with your mom is always good too...
2007-09-16 21:02:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be a good daughter and do little things for her, like helping her out or just giving her a hug. No one is perfect, and if you turned out alright, then she probably did a good job.
2007-09-16 18:49:20 · answer #9 · answered by ladyjane 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that is great. does she forgive herself?? Try breakfast in bed....or flowers. little things mean the most!! Tell her she's pretty...or compliment her somehow. Help her with chores. just say i love you!
2007-09-16 18:44:01 · answer #10 · answered by Chrys 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋