I am pregnant now and these kids are going no where - we have custody and guardianship of 1 (they come from 2 different familys) and they are really worried that they will be sent away once the baby is born no matter how many times we tell them they won't. They are really getting quite upset and it is breaking my heart .Welove them as if they were my own - what can I do to make them see that having a baby in the family will not change our love for them? Baby is due in feb so we have alot of time up our sleeves.
2007-09-16 18:13:47 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Something symbolic to show they are your "first born". Is there any chance you can adopt them? Change their sur names to your family name?
I had a step daughter, 13 when her siblings were born and she behaved like a jealous 2 year old. We tried painting her room anyway she wanted..since we were painting the babies room. We gave her a slumber party with her friends..just stuff which made her feel, older and responsible.
You didn't say how old your 3 are..maybe a family picture before the baby comes and hang it on the wall. Maybe a day alone with each, just doing what they want. How about a pillow with a permanant marker where you and your hubby write loving things. Party stores have whilte dogs for graduations for that purpose. How about a photo in a nice frame with you and your husband for each of them.Also telling them there will be times they are going to feel neglected because the baby will be demanding your time but that you will always love them.
If they are youg you can try this, My youngest daughter brought her 2yr old brother a present from the hospital and we were sure not to have me carry the baby so I could run and hug the ones who had been home with dad and grandma while I was having the baby.
2007-09-16 18:46:18 · answer #1 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start talking about the baby to them as if they will be a part of the baby's life. For instance, tell them they will get to take the baby for a stroll when it is old enough. Ask them if they would be willing to help some with the baby. Ask them how they feel about changing diapers, etc. Just make sure all your conversation about the baby includes them. It will soon sink in that the baby will be a part of their lives as well as yours.
2007-09-16 18:24:26 · answer #2 · answered by Ann 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when i was a child i was fostered so know how they are feeling and it was quite scary when something new happens esp somat that out of our controle as most children that are in the care system have had something go bad at some point they are going to think it will happen everytime there is a major change. u need to keep reasureing them as this will be a problem that is with you for sometime after your child is born so be prepared for the long haul.. i wish you all the best with your situation. just keep reasuring and supporting and all will be fine in the end... xx
2007-09-17 01:48:53 · answer #3 · answered by cinderella 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a baby is special but getting to choose to have them is amazing let them know how lucky you are to have them let them help make choices when it comes to the baby small choices that can help them feel apart of it all a family scrap book just for your family to share depending on how old they are a one on one chat with them I am betting once this baby is born you will see there fears melt away when they see it for there own eyes that you still love them try a worry box where they write there worries down when ever they have one and put it in, if you believe in god they can send there worries to god if not the worries can be for you and your husband to read and see how they really fee.l you could try to put some of your own worries in there like when the baby comes will it's brothers or sisters have enough time for you or will they always want to be with the baby silly things to make them laugh and realize it is natural to worry a little we all do it Hope that helps and Congrats Good Luck on your amazing family
2007-09-16 20:00:35 · answer #4 · answered by twojustbe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give ur best love and show the children you truly care for them by making them help in looking after your baby when it comes. Give them affirmations, endearments and dont forget to always tell them you love them. It would be good to say "I love you" to them everyday. even at bedtime. This way you will be assuring them that you take them as your own. No one is better than the other, always treat them equally. You're an angel, you know. Not very many people want to be foster parents.
2007-09-16 18:23:23 · answer #5 · answered by 102845 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them that the baby will just make the family bigger and better the more the siblings the more the family can work together for some reason they are scared you have to find out why and let the m know they will be fine it will be the same but with one more person will
2007-09-16 18:20:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe start talking to them about the baby by calling it their baby brother or sister, or get family services to reassure them. I gather that the natural parents are not going to be an issue??
2007-09-16 18:19:50 · answer #7 · answered by Suzieq 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Assuming you're actually not a troll right here to entertain us with this hilarious undertaking, i'd say the ultimate element to do is kick that mom f'er out staggering now. he's 37 years previous for god's sake. tell him to get the hell out or you're calling the law enforcement officers, he desires to advance right into a efficient member of society or die attempting. this is the circle of existence and no-it is elementary to argue that. call the law enforcement officers in case you may, supply him and ultimatum and stick to IT. Get a job and get the hell out! :you're 37 for Christ's sake, do something along with your pathetic existence." you're previous the nurturing degree, you will be blunt and to the element. manage that bastard like a grown guy because of the fact he's. cope with company, because of the fact the two YOUR existence is gonna suck or you're removing this buffoon.
2016-10-04 21:07:25 · answer #8 · answered by suero 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask the agency that you got them through to come and talk to the kids and to tell the kids there is no plains at this time to move them maybe then they will be OK with it
2007-09-16 18:54:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Go to family counseling.
2007-09-16 18:16:59 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋