i am 16 years old n i have a beautiful 4 month old daughter. 1 month b4 i gave birth i got married (everytime i say this people write me like idiots cuz they dont kno florida law. look it up b4 u asume im lying) the man i married is not her biological father. he has been there since i was 3 months pregnant n he is still here. he is the only father she kno's. my ex is her biological father. when i first found out i was pregnant he was nervous but happy (i was 15 he was 17) after my family found out the basicly went crazy!! n then he got scared n told me to have an abortion. there was no way in hell i was killing my child!!! so i started telling him he wasnt the father. we no longer talk n havent since then. should i tell him that i lied? should i let him kno that he has a child? does it even matter? in this situation what would u do?
2007-09-16 17:48:33 · 20 answers · asked by amber32034 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
and also i am not interested in him paying child support. i dont need it.
2007-09-16 17:54:09 · update #1
oh n my husband kno's he is not her bio father. i never thought it would be much of a loss to her cuz he is a BAD person!! he just got out of jail (dont kno the whole story, somethin bout a loaded gun)
2007-09-16 17:57:52 · update #2
Yes tell him he has a child. He has rights to see her and to pay child support.
2007-09-16 17:52:33 · answer #1 · answered by paperpenandtea 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have really earned yourself and your child a rocky start ,have'nt you ? This is my opinion, you need to tell the actual father of your child that you lied about him not being the father. Then you need to take him to court for child support,.Don't say you don't need it, its not for you, its for your child. He made her, he should support her, its that simple. The court will set up support and visitation if the father wants that. Even though your married, and your husband may be acting as a father to the child, she still deserves to know her biological father. He may turn out to not want a relationship with her but you owe him, and your daughter, the chance to make that decision. Good Luck , sweetie.
2007-09-17 00:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by WENDY S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I could do it again, I would not have told the ex about our son. He did more damage than good, our son will be 20yrs old next month and my ex tried to be the good parent, you know the Disney Dad, trying to be cool instead of disciplining the child when he needed it. I wish I never would have told him because my son didn't need that negativity in his life. But then at the same time, it's not fair to the child to not know their biological parent. As much as I can't stand my ex and my son knows he never pulled his weight as a parent, it's still his dad and he loves him. Good luck, this will be a difficult decision for you and I wish you all the best.
2007-09-17 02:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...well first of all, good for you for sticking your ground and not getting an abortion. If telling your ex means making life harder on you..then i don't know if you should..sounds like you have a really good thing going and have met a guy that truly cares about you....but if you feel your ex would take responsibility over her and would want her in his life, then you should at least give him a chance to be a father now before your daughter gets too old and what not....That's a tough situation to be in.. i wish you the best
2007-09-17 01:06:09 · answer #4 · answered by ♥xChannel. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definately think u did the right thing by not aborting cos abortion is murder. 2ndly I don't think you should have lied. You might have been surprised by his reaction. Most guys get a bit upset at first but then assume their responsibility as father. I think you should take your daughter around to see him in a park or public location and let him get to know his own daughter. 3rdly I think you should tell your husband (in the nicest way possible) that he isn't the father as lying in a relationship is never good. I'm not sure what the outcome of this will be but hopefully he will forgive and forget.
Good luck!!
2007-09-17 00:55:30 · answer #5 · answered by Bethany C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him and either make him pay child support or let your husband adopt your child and then he won't have to be involved at all. You don't want to go through life carrying this secret around. If your husband adopts your daughter then you'll never have to explain to your daughter the difference between her biological father and her "daddy" (your husband). Good luck!
2007-09-17 00:54:25 · answer #6 · answered by Precious 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While it would be easier for you to not tell him, I think that you need to. Like you said he was scared when he told you to not have the baby. You should at least give him the chance to be a father to his child. If he is not interested then you can have him sign over his rights and your husband can legally adopt your daughter.
2007-09-17 01:00:40 · answer #7 · answered by sara123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say anything, he seems to immature for the consequences that came with having sex. You are, and thats great! I got pregnant when I was 15 too. (I live in Florida as well), anyways, I think you should keep in contact with him and when you think he is mature enough to know that he has a beautiful daughter, then tell him. Until then you just enjoy that beautiful child.
2007-09-17 00:57:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he won't be a reliable, trustworthy, role model for your daughter I wouldn't tell him. Maybe send him a letter with no return address but that's it. You life is good now why screw it up with some guy who cant stay out of jail and would probably like to cause you pain? If I had the choice my sons father wouldn't know about him.
2007-09-19 13:59:35 · answer #9 · answered by billie b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know your situation better then any1 here, IF i was in your situation and my babys father was a "bad" guy, not some1 i want in my life much less my daughters i("right or wrong") prolly would leave it as it is, a sperm donor isn't a "dad", he told you to get an abortion(which women have the right to do so i think men have the right to walk away) (i know a whole new can of worms) basically giving up his "right" to know, whatever you decide for you and yours best to you
2007-09-17 04:35:29 · answer #10 · answered by Mylilmanm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him, but will he want to be a part of her life? Do you want her going to spend time with him every weekend or whatever? If he's a "bad" person, he still has a right to know, but you can decide when to let him know. Do whatever is best for your daughter. Good luck
2007-09-17 04:40:40 · answer #11 · answered by azure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋