my mom and dad r divoced .im an only child.iv never even seen my dad .so i gotta hold of his phone # this summer and some women answered and told me he wasnt there .then she asked who i was .i choked up and she hung up on me.i was sooo scared thinking i might have a step mother .should i call him again ?but what if the women answered again ?if i do should i say who i am ?do u think is should tell my mom this ? i would but shes such a hard worker i dont wanna upset or disappoint her .i nkow i have the right to knoe my dad ,but its so hard and im really scared.
2007-09-16 16:15:25 · 9 answers · asked by SerENa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I've been exactly where you are.
I was 23 when I contacted my dad. Long Story.
If you chose to call him again.....make sure you call from a blocked number, that way if the woman answers you can just hang up. If a man answers you can ask "Is this, "Joe"......and just continue the conversation from there if it's your dad.
But be open.......anything could happen.
1. He could be thrilled to be in touch with you.
2. He could be freaked out.
3. He could be freaked out and not want to stay in contact.
Maybe you should try being open with your mother and letting her know of your plans. She may can help you in some way.
2007-09-16 16:22:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Missing a parent is like missing a piece of yourself. If you've never met that person the curiosity would be overwhelming. Of course in some cases it's probably a good thing if the parent hadn't contacted the "long lost son/daughter" but I guess it all depends on the situation.
Has your mom ever talked bad about him or never talked about him at all? Mom's have a method to their madness, I would talk to her before you called your dad back again. She might have some things to say that are worth hearing. Obviously she knows him better than you do and I know she loves you dearly. She wouldn't want you to get upset or hurt over the situation.
But ultimately the decision is yours. I wish you the best of luck. And remember, the emptiness you may feel may never go away completely but you can try and fill it with memories, friends, family, and thoughts of the future. Everything works out in the end.
2007-09-16 23:32:05 · answer #2 · answered by mnkylvr2388 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds almost like my story. My parents divorced when I was a baby. I am now 33 and don't know my dad. I have met his brothers, sisters and parents. Wierd I know. My mother always told me what a loser he was and he didn't want anything to do with me. My mother died in June. Since then I have visited with my dads family. (I kept my visits with them secret from my mom as not to hurt her or listen to the negative stories) My Aunts have given me his phone # and email address. I emailed him but never heard back from my dad. I guess he doesn't want anything to do with me and has moved on with his life. You should get your dads address (home or email) and write to him first. Give him a chance to process it all. Don't put him on the spot. At least write a couple of times and then tell him you would like to call him.
2007-09-16 23:27:36 · answer #3 · answered by red cup 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want contact with your father tell your Mother you want to see and talk to him. Tell her you have his number and have called once and what happened. If your Mother knows you really want to be in contact with him maybe she will call and set it up for you. If you decide to go ahead and call him on your own its best to be honest with who ever answers the phone. Tell them your name and that your trying to get in contact with your father and say his name. I would also mention you haven't ever seen your father and would like to talk to him. Don't be to surprised if he doesn't want to have a relationship with you. He may talk to you and answer your questions but that might be as far as he wants to take it. I to have never seen my father my parents were divorced when I was a few months old. I wish you luck but don't expect a lot from him.
2007-09-16 23:57:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to your mom first. Maybe she knows something you don't. I mean she would know him best. You don't really know what happened in their relationship. Ask her if it would be ok.
If you do decide to call, explain to the "woman" that you are his daughter and if he would like to call you, please have him do so. Sometimes things don't always end up as we would like them. Don't get your hopes up with your Dad. Take it slow and let your Mom know what you are doing? Good luck.
2007-09-16 23:24:35 · answer #5 · answered by looloo1122 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bet he would like to hear from you and since your call that lady on the phone would like to also.
Better to call him and find out than to never try.
2007-09-20 19:52:19 · answer #6 · answered by dadw5boys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what the first comment says, but if i were you i would want to know a little about his history first. You never know what could happen.
2007-09-16 23:48:50 · answer #7 · answered by nikki r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your mum, however please understand not to hurt her feelings. Most important is to reassure her your intention so that she does not have any wild gueses.
Be honest to both your parent as it is the only way you gain trust as well as you can trust your parent as well.
take care.
2007-09-16 23:57:21 · answer #8 · answered by trymejames 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes call back, and tell her who u are... don't get nerous . I really dont know if u should telll your mom though..because you don't know if like she is going to get real upset..BEST WISHES AND GOOD LUCK
2007-09-16 23:29:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋