Do you think this will lead to Child Abuse?

Question

My 5yr old Son with my ex husband, divorced now for 4 years, has been comming home with information and manorisms that have been raising a rred flag.

last week he came home from his fathers house and was afraid to go to sleep, because every time he closed his eyes he would see peoples heads being cut off, he said he was watching a Vampire movie at his fathers house.
The week before school started he was supossed to go to PA with his father, he developed a fever and headach the day before, he called his father, on speaker phone, and told him that he didn't feel well and can't go to PA because he had a fever, I heard his father tell his "no way its not happenning you'll be fine and your going and thats it. I intercepted the phone call and told him that he is not going because he is sick and needs to be close to the doctor. Today my son came home upset once again because his father told him that he was going to punch me in the face! he was very upset and I had to comfort

FYI: my son gets a kick out of using speakerphone, he presses the button with every convo, I didn't tell him to call his father, he ased me if he could call and tell his he was sick, I was just being supportive, and in no-way did I expect to here what I did from his father.

Answer 1

i don't see any child abuse happening.
bad parenting skills, maybe. but not abuse.

Answer 2

Sounds like a pretty bad move to put the ex on speaker phone and it suggests there are other clues of anger/frustration that your son might be picking up on. My daughter is at a stage where she tells me stories she thinks I want to hear. Be really careful and try to see things from your ex husband's side. When mom is controlling the visit, sometimes she gets tempted to use the control as a passive attack against dad. Even if thats not happening, that might be how dad feels. You should discuss it with your ex, not your 5 year old.

Answer 3

Your ex-husband sounds like a very controlling man, who thinks about his "rights as a father", before the best interest of his son. I would keep an eye on what goes on during your son's time with his father. Casually ask your son what they did together.
Your ex also seems to have anger issues with you. That also is a red flag. You may need to eventually have suprivised visits with your son and his father if this continues.
Please take care of yourself.

Answer 4

You are being paranoid. Your paranoid-ism pisses off the father. The child is the one that suffers because of you both acting like idiots. An adult is a someone capable of making solid, rational judgments and decisions. Neither you nor your ex are capable of making them. The child is caught in the middle and goes through an enormous psychological trauma that YOU and your EX are causing to him.

Answer 5

Actually it sounds like the problem is between you and your ex. The ex might be watching violent movies and acting in an aggressive manner, but I think the anger is aimed at you not the child.

Answer 6

You could maybe talk to a lawyer about charging him with domestic violence. domestic violence includes mental abuse. A father should not tell his son that he is going to punch his mother in the face.

Answer 7

this is called disparaging statements, it should be handled with the lawyers and a judge, withholding visitation is illegal and could get you into serious trouble, be sure and document all that happened, a few weeks or months and being nervous in court will cloud thoughts quickly!

Answer 8

i would talk to the judge about it. or the attorney. it does not sound like a good place for the little boy to be. the father might need to have supervised visits only.

Answer 9

that doesn't sound like a good situation at all.. Your son shouldnt' be around his father at all.. I'd take him to court.

Answer 10

possibly. It sounds like your ex is not a great influence.