I need someones advice?

Question

I am 18 years old. I am currently pregnant. My mother has had nothing to do with me really that much when I was growing up.. She lost me and my sibling due to drugs. I am having a boy, his name is cadin. the thing is she wants to have like everything to do with Cadin and yet she did not try with us.. I was out of her care since I was 1 1/2 I have lived with my grandparents since then and sometime with my dad down in texas.. I just dont know what I should do so I am asking you for advice

Answer 1

you commited adultery and before marraiage sinful suinful praide god. join a church.

Answer 2

Your mom made a few mistakes and perhaps she was young and didnt know how to be a mom. You should forgive her and let her be a part of you and Cadin's life. Let her be there for your child and help you out. Raising a child is hard and she perhaps wants to make up for lost time. Having your mother there will bring you both closer together. Im am sure you have made some bad choices and bad mistakes in life and God has forgive you everytime. You show your mother that you are the better person and the big person. Show her what type of woman you have grown up to be and show her that you have the bigger heart. God will truly bless you in the end. You are an adult now and a beautiful woman. Move past what happened in the past and focus on your future for you and your son. Learn from your mothers mistakes and dont make them with Cadin. Cadin is a beautiful name.

Answer 3

No one can make this decision for you. I think if I were in your place it would completely depend on if she were clean, if she was genuinely making an effort to be in MY life as well, and if i truly felt she was sorry and i could let go my resentment for her not being there for me. If you're too angry, or you cant bring yourself to let her back in, don't. If you can truly forgive her and realize at the time she was sick, and pretty messed up, then maybe you can begin to forgive her. I dont know the whole situation so I don't know that I could forgive, but I hope you find the answers you need and can go on with your life without any regrets reguarding the relationship with your mother. The truth is its the hardest thing to try and figure out. Family is family, no matter how messed up or what wrong they have done to you. The real question is, will she be a welcomed addition back to your life, or will she strain and bring back a world of hurt? I hope you figure it all out.

Answer 4

Is your mother still on drugs? If not maybe you could give her a chance. She might regret not being close to you now that she is older. She can't take back what happened in the past , but she can try to do better now. I will be praying for you and your mother. God bless you.

Answer 5

Is she clean and sober now? For how long? It could be she wants to be a part of his life because she is realizing how much she missed in yours. It is up to you how much contact she will have so think about how you really feel. It is possible it could be a starting point for a relationship for the two of you as well. But only if the drug use is behind her.

Answer 6

my advice is to put your child first

if you believe that your mother can help you now, and that she is now a good person who you can trust, then let her into your life

however: if you do not believe this and instead believe that she is not trustworthy and could harm your child, then you protect your child by keeping her away

But not to punish your mother for what she did not do for you.

I would highly recommend that you try to call a teen hotline in your area or try to get in contact with a guidance counselor at a local high school who can recommend services that can help with decisions like this

a church pastor or minister might also know where to turn

you need a support system and you cannot do it totally on your own

Answer 7

Maybe just Maybe she is trying to make up for the fact that she was not around for you,although it is not going to change that fact but maybe you should just sit down and talk with her.

That is only if you feel comfortable about it if she is all better now & not into all that trouble then it might be a good thing to have gramma around.Best of luck with you

Answer 8

You are going to be a mother soon. Try to be the best mother possible and always remember to teach good things to your child. Good things will happen to you if you have a positive attitude and you are going to be the roll model for that little child forever. Try your best and you will be ok. Best of luck and you will never be given anything that you cannot handle. :)

Answer 9

She may be trying to make up for the way she did you by doing better for your child. Explain to her that you are wary of her intentions and let her know she is going to have to earn your trust by not only being a good grandmother but a good mother as well.

Answer 10

If your mother is clean and wants an active part of the childs life it would be good of you to let her in. People can change and if we cant forgive how can we be forgiven. I know its easier said than done but might benefit everyone in the long run.

Answer 11

You might want to allow her to see your son when he is born, with supervision. She wants to establish a relationship. Unless she is dangerous or still on drugs, she does have some right as a grandparent to try to have some contact with her grandson. Talk with your own grandparents about it.