My dad yells at me alot?

Question

Hes not abusive, or drunk, or anything like that, my dad just likes to yell at me alot. For example, I went to do the laundry, and he started yelling "OH JEEZ NOW WHOS GONNA DO THE DRYER?? JESUS CHRIST.. ILL DO IT" Then I said "well i can do it if you want" or somethin like that and he yells "NO JUST GO AWAY ILL DO IT.. CHRIST...." And just yells at me for stupid things. He doesnt yell at my brother, or my mom.

Sometimes if he gets REALLY, REALLY mad, he will hit me. Not hard, but he will still do something. It really upsets me because I hate it when people yell, especially men, because they have strong voices and it just scares me. I'm only 14. What should I do?

Answer 1

my dad is like that too,.....and i HATE him,...he hit me once,or twice,.....now,..i'm not scared anymore.....i don't give a damn!!!!...i talk back and stares right into his eyes..once,he tried to hit me,and i blocked it...hahaha........it's the most funny moment,......he can't scare me anymore....i don't care about him now...i don't talk to him,..i act as if he's not there......oh well,...who cares...i HATE him,..and i guess it's not my fault....

Answer 2

At some point, you need to sit down with your mom and dad and see what you can do to make his little life a little more bearable... after dinner, ask for some conference time with him and offer to bring him a beer.

Find out what he really expects you to do around the house and maybe make a schedule of some sort.
Laundry on Sunday night while doing homework?
Help make meals on nights when you don't have some extracurricular activity at school? Or maybe have a "burger night out" when you have something going on?

Tell him you are worried about his blood pressure and just want to help. The idea is to clear the air so he isn't raising the roof.

Answer 3

Muster up all of your strength and tell your dad that his yelling scares you and upsets you and why does he yell all the time. if your scared or if he's just gonna yell at you, go to your mom and talk about ithey, i'll even ask why, if you want, im 15. when i was younger my mom had a really mean boyfriend and he would yell and hit me and punish me for the stupidest things i wasnt a bad child, its was him. OH yeah, maybe he's yelling at you becuz maybe something is going on with him. Just try your hardest ok?

Answer 4

Whack him one from me.

No, seriously... I think the bottom line here is the father daughter thing... what I mean is that fathers often do not know how to deal with teenage daughters... it wasn't too long ago that you were perhaps daddy's girl, hugs/laps and all that... now you're very likely thinking of dating and you're certainly becoming a young woman... very different from the girl you were just a little while back -- fathers are often at a loss about who to be around their daughters... so when people don't know what to do they are off-balance and can react with anger/discomfort/that pissed-off face.

It's really not about you unless you have somehow made him an enemy... which would be very difficult because I'm sure he loves you very much. It's probably about him and how he is not good at being honest about his feelings... because he may not ever have admitted them to anyone including himself.

Because he honestly/obviously doesn't know what to do, you might have to. Wait for a good day/good moment/when it's just the two of you.

Tell him that you know it's difficult watching his little girl grow up. Tell them you are confused about his anger and tell him how it affects you. Obviously, he has hurt you - so you need to tell him that.

Don't try to change his behavior or tell him what to do. Instead, tell him what effect his behavior has upon you.

Unfortunately, we can't change anyone -- we can only inform them of the effects of their behavior and hope that they will change.

Clearly, if you are being hurt, you need to take it to another adult authority figure... what kind of relationship do you have with your mother? Grandparents? Have you ever spoken to your mother about your father's anger? Do she know what's going on?

Still, I would go directly to him in a calm moment and tell him how you are feeling. Sometimes people get so confused and upset that they begin to use their hands... but don't allow that. Hopefully, his behavior toward you will change after you tell him what kind of effect his behavior has upon you.

However, if it does not, you need to protect yourself and take it to the next level. If your mother or extended family will not help you, then you need to see a guidance counselor or trusted teacher and tell them what's going on. But, before you do this, try talking to your dad first. Don't threaten him -- just talk to him from your heart. Don't tell him that you are going to tell someone about him or tell on him... but do it if you have to. Tough love.

I'm not a therapist nor am I an expert in relationships... but I know about teenage girls and I can tell you that fathers often feel pretty helpless, scared, and distant because the old relationship they had with their little girl is gone.

It's unfortunate that you have to be the adult here... at 14 years old, this is not your job... but clearly, someone has to do it... good luck ... and feel free to write back and let me know if things are better or worse. Mail Orderz

Answer 5

Your dad sounds like he's incredibly stressed. I bet he doesn't realize what he is really doing. You need to approach him when he's calm (and take your mother with you), and explain how you feel. You have a right not to be hit or yelled at abusively. Don't put up with that behavior.

Answer 6

i am really sorry. maybe you should talk to someone and maybe they can do something cause i know u probbly don't want to be yelled out like all the time, we are about the same age and my parent use to do that but i told someone and that person talked to my parent, and my mom hasn't yelled at me for a long time. GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

i'm bipolar it sucks u have been given to envision the place he's coming from suitable now attempt to appreciate it u won't have the means to thoroughly are conscious of it yet u can consistently attempt to be there for him. attempt to no longer be as messy or perhaps purely take a seat with him have a verbal exchange with him reson with him and doubtless he will understand your point of view to

Answer 8

i'm sorry i cant help much. i have the same problem. sometimes my dad yells and hurts my mom too, but its mainly always me. i just wanted to tell you you're not alone.

Answer 9

have you said something to you're mum about it and how it scares you, maybe she could have a chat with him and get him to chill out. Maybe he is going through something, i dont know!!!