Okay, well I liked this guy forever.... But he asked out my best friend and she said yes! I'm really hurt and down. I just can't believe it. What do I do?
And do you think my friend was being a bad friend? She didn't even ask me if I was okay with them going out. She knew all along I liked him. I'm extremely sad. Advice needed please!!
2007-09-16 14:44:34 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Talk to your gf and ask why this and that.
And then move on.
2007-09-16 14:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by ctknight9 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you've got suspicious thoughts, don't let them make you miserable. That's too stressful - and it might be for no reason. After all, so far the problem is all in your mind - you have no evidence that your friend is really crushing on your guy.
Tell your friend that you've been noticing some weird stuff lately. Tell her, since she is a really good friend, how much it bothers you to wonder if she's crushing on your boyfriend. Chances are good that she is not trying to steal your guy, so don't go accusing her of anything when you don't have proof. If she acts defensive, tell her you just thought that she sometimes seemed a little too friendly with him, or whatever the issue is, and maybe you're overreacting. But ask her to keep it in mind from now on, and let you be the girlfriend and do girlfriend stuff with him (like sharing secrets or sitting on his lap), instead of her. That should either solve the problem, or at least allow you two to talk openly about things.
Do NOT tell your guy about this. He probably hasn't noticed anything, and that's for the best. Guys are really funny creatures. When they know somebody likes them, it sometimes flatters them enough to make them crush back, even if there weren't feelings there in the first place. You don't want to go planting an idea in his mind, about how your friend would want to date him. You want him to be blissfully ignorant of the fact!
Of course, if you feel like your boyfriend has been flirting a lot with your friend, and that's really what is bothering you, then you should talk to him. Ask him to consider how he would feel if you were doing the same thing (with one of his friends). If he laughs off your concerns and says you just need to stop worrying, then tell him you need him to take your feelings seriously. If your boyfriend shares some of the blame for creating this situation, then he needs to take responsibility if this problem is to be fixed. Besides, even if he thinks you're being nutty, a nice guy wouldn't do anything that he knew hurt your feelings.
2007-09-16 14:56:53 · answer #2 · answered by Souljaboywife 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With friends like that, you don't need enemies, as the saying goes. I don't blame you for being hurt, but there isn't much you can do about it. You were not, I assume, in a committed relationship, so all's fair in love and war. I would, however, look for a more loyal friend. Just because this so-called friend accepted a date with a guy who sounds like he doesn't even know you exist, doesn't mean they're in it for the long haul. He's still unattached, so make your own moves. Don't just worship him from afar. When you see him again, strike up a conversation. Let one thing lead to another. Be your friendliest and nicest self, and look your best. There's nothing preventing him from asking you out. As for this "friend", I'd steer clear of her from now on.
2007-09-16 14:57:33 · answer #3 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that this has happened to you but sometimes things don't always go the way we would like...
The way I view things is...It was messed up that your friend did that to you but it doesn't mean that she isn't a good friend. A true friend can't expect another friend to put their life on hold just because they know you like someone. This guy was never yours so there for there is no betrayal to you by your friend. The guy asked her out and she said yes...that shows that she has good taste like you I am sure.
Not to mention that if you have truly liked this guy for like forever then you should want to see him happy even if he isn't with you. This doesn't mean that you can never be with him. Maybe it isn't meant to be or maybe it just isn't your time yet.
Move on and maybe you will find someone you like better then you like him.
My advise to you is be happy for them both and show it...A man doesn't like a jealous girl anyway so you will have better luck if you show happiness and act like a true friend should.
In that same note if and when they break up...you have another chance and don't feel like a bad friend for going after your friends ex...After all an ex is an ex for a reason and if she could go out with him knowing that you have liked him for so long why should you feel bad for doing what makes you happy.
I wish you happiness and luck: BlackWidow62206 age 24
2007-09-16 15:01:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is a freaking backstabber! She is a fuggly loozer!!! OK.... im being a bit dramatic=] But heck yea she was wrong! How can you ever trust her now? If I knew that my friend liked someone, I would NEVER say yes to a guy that she liked... even if i was head over hills for him!!!
It's just a NO-NO! I would tell her how wrong she is. Dont let her think that it's ok... because it's sooooo not!
Ignore her for a long time, and trust me... you are better off without his scummy, skanky ***!!!! You deserve sooo much better! Good luck, and make them PAY!!!!!
=]
2007-09-16 14:53:33 · answer #5 · answered by Vanessa ♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok well if they like each other then how would of you two turned out if you think about it!on the other hand if you friend knew and went along with it then thats not cool! find someone else there is no point in wasting time in one place! dream a new dream! hope that helps sry if it does not!
2007-09-16 14:51:46 · answer #6 · answered by purplegirl1516 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that exact thing happened to me last year.. the guy who I liked... and my best friend knew that i liked him... asked her out. I was really sad and even more sad when she said YES. Of course someone who does that isnt really a great friend... but it isnt worth completely losing a friend over... just try to think that there will be other boys.. i know how hard it is but give it time and everything will turn out fine.. it did for me and it will for you
2007-09-16 14:50:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like your "friend" isn't really being a good friend, she knowingly did something to hurt your feelings, but the other side to the coin is, that the guy may not have been interested in you from the start and was interested in her. But if you are very comfortable with her, it would be a good idea to talk to her, and let her know you feel a bit betrayed by this.
2007-09-16 14:50:05 · answer #8 · answered by Salomon 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Homegirl, move on! Don't waste your time on a man, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. Remember, you can't control other people's feelings. I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of attractive and available guys out there just dying to meet you. Go paint the town, have fun and you are bound to meet a great guy sooner or later. Good luck.
2007-09-16 14:54:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone like you just because you like them. Your friend was disloyal to you in accepting the date, but maybe she really liked him too and just never told you. If it were me I would be understanding of her point of view and remain her friend. I had a friend that dated a guy I had been dating. They got married, and he turned out to be horrible, a side of him neither of us had ever seen. They divorced. I feel like she did me a really big favor in the grand scheme of things. So, maybe you are actually better off without him. You never know. Just set your sights on someone else, and forget about the one that wasn't meant to be. Life goes on!!!
2007-09-16 15:06:17 · answer #10 · answered by Kitty39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might have been wrong for your friend to do that, but if she is a really good friend that you have known for a really long time then dont end your relationship over a boy. good friends are important to have. if she has done this before then she probably isnt a good friend. if it was me i would just calmly confront my friend about how i felt. try not to make to big of deal about it just let her know how you felt. try your best to forgive her and move on.
2007-09-16 14:55:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋