when does the pain ease up of a loved ones death?

Question

i lost my brother who was my best friend almost 3 years ago and I still cry all the time over it.
when does it stop hurting so much, i know i will always feel a lost but will i always feel sorrow too?
thanks

Answer 1

I lost my father in Feb 07. I still think I see him at the grocery store, or at a softball game. Then I "remember" that there is no way that its him. The pain of losing a loved one will never go away, but one thing that helps me get through it is because I know that my Dad is still right here with me. I may not be able to actually see him, but I know that he loved me so much that he is always watching out for me. The same with your brother. Talking to the right doctor will definitely help. I talk to my father everyday, and I know he hears me. and he answers me by a feeling that I get in my heart. Remember your brother, talk to your brother, and REMEMBER....he is still with you. he's that feeling in your heart.

Answer 2

I am sincerely sorry for your loss. When I lost my father I cried every day for 2 years. And he physically abused me but I still loved him so much. After 2 years, I kind of moved on without him and gradually accepted his early death. I feel like he is watching over me in a life beyond here. And he's not in pain and suffering anymore.

Perhaps you need to consult with a grief counselor to verbally express your feelings. Or at least a friend - someone who is a good listener and can help console you in your distress. 3 years seems like too long a time to be in the first stage of grieving. I really think you need professional help. Bless you.

Answer 3

That is a long time to be crying all the time. You might want to talk with someone about this. You may have other things going on that has not allow you to really grieve about your brother. It doesn't mean you wouldn't still feel the loss and get teary at times, but it shouldn't hurt like it did the first year. Do you really allow yourself to grieve? In addition to crying have you talked about what losing him meant to you? I don't think I am willing to give a time table, but three years to have the same level of pain as the beginning doesn't seem like you have moved far in your grieving.

Answer 4

Everyone grief is different. I lost my mom 2 years ago. The first year I was a wreck. I cried daily. I don't do that any longer but I have moments where I miss her so much I don't know how I survive. Sometimes I just want my mommy and I am 39 years old and it is not fair. Other times I am happy that she is at peace and not in pain (she died of breast cancer) . I still think of her daily but it does get easier but you certainly never forget. If you really can't live your life on a daily basis you might need grief counseling. Many churches and hospital organizations offer free counseling. I hope you can get through your pain.

Answer 5

I am very sorry for you loss of your brother. Grief affects everyone differently however after nearly 3 years you should not be "crying all the time". It is not unusual to grieve for 2 years after a major loss but 3 years is definitely longer than expected.
I really recommend that you make an appointment with a Grief Counsellor. The funeral home that handled your brother's funeral will have names and numbers of Grief Counsellors that can help you. A Grief Counsellor will help you to stop feeling so sad and to move on with your life.
Once again I am very sorry for your loss.

Answer 6

I'm sorry about your loss.....

The sorrow takes several years to go away, I lost my brother in a car crash 5 years ago...I miss him soooooooooo much still, I don't think you ever stop missing someone....its ok to cry, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Now when I think of him, the sorrow is replaced by joy, as I remember the good times I spent with him!

Answer 7

I lost my daughter about 5 years ago, it took 3-4 years to really start feeling "normal" again. I talked to someone who went through the exact same thing. Try a support group for other grievers, it helps to get out your feelings and hear others who are in the same situation. You are not alone. And if all else fails talk to a doctor.

Answer 8

I am so sorry for your loss. After loosing someone close to death, life does go on but it will never be the same. Try to reflect on the good times you had with your brother and remember the good times. My friend went to Christian counseling. Talking to someone trained in grief counseling has really helped her. She can now talk about him and not cry and often laughs at things she remembers. I hope you find peace with your loss....

Answer 9

I, too, lost my brother, so I know how you feel. It does get easier with time. My brother was killed over ten years ago, almost 11. It's much easier now to think about him. I can even listen to songs that remind me of him (he was a guitar player).

So, it gets easier. Hang in there.

Answer 10

The truth is...the pain will never completely go away. You can never forget someone. But eventually time will pass and you will move on. Believe me I know it hurts but you got to look at the bright side. He's in a better place. He wouldn't want you to be sad he would want you to be happy. Don't be happy for you, but be happy for him because he would have wanted the best.