Okay, this is hard for me to talk about because I'm so disappointed. I was using my step dad's computer the other day because mine wasn't working and I found in his history A LOT of porn sites, that might not sound that bad, but my step dad is a Pastor! Let me give you a little background of my family for a min. My real brother told my mom and step dad he was gay his junior year, and they were Horrible to him, most of that was my step dad's doing, they told him he was going to hell and it's sin ect...Then I told my mom about a year ago that my boyfriend and I had been having sex for about 2 years. And she couldn't keep it a secret and told him. He said he felt like a failure as a parent, even though they both had sex before they were married. There is also a girl 22, in my church that is pregnant, my mom told my step dad and he told EVERYBODY at church! She wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. And now just about every other week he preaches about sexual immorality, just throws
2007-09-16 14:25:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
in the middle of the sermon. So this is disturbing to me. I also have seen some gay porn on here. Which is REALLY shocking! I have talked to my sister, its her birth father, and she thinks for now, and maybe forever we shouldn't say anything. I KNOW this would KILL my mother, she hangs on everyword he says, and thinks everything he says is the Gospel truth. My sister thinks we should just keep monitoring his computer to see how bad the addiction could be. And then go from there. I love my mother, so I WILL NOT tell her, so don't say "tell your mom" My sister and I suspect she might know a little already but aren't sure. What should I do? Has anyone been through this? What would help me deal with this? I can't stand looking at him
2007-09-16 14:28:07 · update #1
I am 18, I have talked with my sister she's 25 about talking to him, I forgot to mention me and him DO NOT get along, we avoid each other at all costs, she thinks he would turn it around on me or deny it. We decided if we ever confront him , we will have to do it together, by the way she lives in another state
2007-09-16 14:34:36 · update #2
Okay......I realize that some of you have a problem with sex before marriage, but I wasn't asking about that, so.......
2007-09-18 08:57:10 · update #3
I understand how u feel and u dont wanna tell ur mom about this! It is a very awkward situation, but maybe he's been dealing with this addiction for a very long time, i mean u guys have just found that out about his secret, u dont know what is going on in his mind!! He may be going through this all his life, and that might be the reason why he went into ministry, because he know he's doing (or liking) something he is not suppose to (the homo thing). No one is perfect, we all sin, and even preachers sin, thats a fact, and he knows that...so he might be having a very hard time with quitting this addiction!!
2007-09-16 14:36:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Here is what I think:
1. Find out for sure it is him visiting the porn sites.
2. Don't say anything to your mom.
3. If he ever tells you anything about you sleeping with your boyfriend, tell him he has no right to judge you when you know the kind of thing he watches on the Internet.
Maybe that way he will never bother you again. You may want to take that opportunity to tell him to stop preaching so much about sexual immorality because you could talk to people in the church.
2007-09-16 15:14:21 · answer #2 · answered by Karin H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awkward
2016-05-21 05:38:14 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are moving in the right direction. Monitoring his computer and checking how bad is the addiction is a great idea. I would suggest that make a list of the sites that he's visiting (because he can clear the history). After finding out, you & your sisters should talk to him & tell him that you found out the bad habbit of him and he should explain himself. It's either he should do something about it by stopping & telling this bad addiction to your mom himself or you are going to tell you mom. This is a serious situation that your mom should know about, as a partner maybe your mom can help him out.
2007-09-16 14:36:41 · answer #4 · answered by brittanique 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would ask him in front of your mother, if it was him getting on to the porn sites, and see what he has to say. It will cause a big fight, but who is he to judge people if he is just as quilty as they are, in fact worse, because he is being a hypocrite.
2007-09-16 14:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stuff like this happens to people who preach and point fingers. Condeming others when they ae in no way perfect...Monitor, see who else uses the comp. I would print out everything and had it over to mom in front of famiy..why should you be burndened with all this???
2007-09-16 15:32:49 · answer #6 · answered by truthgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just leave it be. I personally think that anyone who looks at porn is sick. Totally sick. But that's just my opinion.
You could always try using a keylogging program. These monitor actions and can report back to another computer what you're doing. Don't tell your mum. As you say, it might kill her. If they're happy together - leave them be. I think for personal safety, you may wish to separate yourself slightly.
If you are intent on taking action, maybe you should confront him directly and suggest councelling.
As for the sleeping with your boyfriend - are you really, really sure??? If yes, maybe you should move your love elsewhere. AIDS and HIV always start in gay people. Translate a bit of Ovid from Latin. He advises well in this sort of situation in one of his poems - I can't remember the exact name but it's to do with the countryside.
2007-09-17 05:13:23 · answer #7 · answered by Froskoy 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
most pastors are do as i say and not as i do he is rough on others because he is in so much wrong himself maybe you need to get a copy of his sites and pass them out to the church people on sunday but u do have to eat so make sure you are taken care of before you throw stones
2007-09-16 23:47:37 · answer #8 · answered by wreaser2000 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is a classic hypocrite. being a pastor doesn't make him more than just a man...getting PAID to tell sinners they are going to hell......it's a job.... Ever hear the old saying about people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones? He is throwing the stones my dear.
2007-09-16 14:38:10 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
the porn you found may or may not be his...brother?...mother?......anyone else using the puter?.......be sure before you accuse....
just doesn't sound like he would let you use the puter and knowing that is on there.......I pray that he is not doing such a thing and professing to be a christian and a preacher.........God bless.........
2007-09-16 14:37:28 · answer #10 · answered by cecstar 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋