Do I deserve to live? how can I ever forgive myself?

Question

How can I ever forgive myself for having an abortion? I feel like if I didn't let my kid live, why should I deserve to live. When I was 19 my mother forced me to have an abortion. She raised me to believe in abortion. Whenever a cousin or friend was pregnant my mom would yell "She needs to have an abortion" So finally when I became pregnant she told me that I "better get rid of it" I listened and really regret it. I flunked out of school, now I drink and smoke and feel miserable and depressed. I wonder if I can ever forgive myself and move on to love a happy/ healthy life?

Answer 1

You were over 18 you shouldn't have listened to your mom. was the guy you had the baby with hot? if so, you should have stayed with it. they arent common america

Answer 2

If you suppose that he'll under no circumstances discover this expertise out, then under no circumstances inform him. You are so much too difficult on your self. We all do dull matters once we are more youthful and I can inform you that I do not consider approximately the matters I did at 23, now that I'm forty three. You chalk it as much as errors you're making with a purpose to study. At the time, those matters appeared like well recommendations, proper? You took snap shots with a man you idea cared approximately you, however now you're no longer with him anymore. You did not are expecting that you would not be in combination ceaselessly otherwise you don't have performed those matters. So, he betrays your believe, you study a lesson, and you are going to under no circumstances take the ones varieties of snap shots once more. You did not anything mistaken trusting any individual, he broke your believe and that's his fault, no longer yours. Live and study. Personally, I consider you're too distinctive for this man too. He may be very devout, however I experience that he's a lot more conservative than you're. Its very difficult to difference this approximately your self and also you will not be joyful with the longer term regulations he would possibly insist you abide by way of, because the spouse of a devout guy. Date him for a pair years and notice the way you suppose. I experience its a brand new courting? Wait till the honeymoon interval is over and you spot a few flaws and he sees a few of your flaws. Maybe he has made a few errors as good, however I'd depart yours ago. Don't reveal them to him. You did this earlier than you met him and simplest God has the proper to pass judgement on you for it, no longer him!

Answer 3

Ya, that is a hard thing for a woman to go through when having an abortion. But was the guy right for you? If not, maybe the abortion was a good thing. Even though this one didn't work out, the next one will. So be happy, you may have many more babies coming

Answer 4

Of course you deserve to live!
I'd say your only real choice at a happy life IS to forgive yourself. You were "legally" an "adult", but maturity may not have been present. We all make mistakes. Some of them are huge, but you must come to a place of peace within your own heart and mind. Now, realistically, you WERE an adult, so your mother could not force you to do such a thing, but I understand she may have had the power to make your life unlivable if you did not do as she said. A good start for your own healing may be to tell your mom what you think of that decision, and express your unhappiness with her on this subject. You CAN get through this to a place of self-forgiveness. I suggest seeking counseling. Don't try to work through this most difficult situation by yourself.

All the best to you.
Peace, Love & Light

Answer 5

Hi friend,
This is a tough, tough situation for you. But as they said, it's during this "dark of the soul" moment that you get to find yourself. And in a way you did..Not many are like you who are still guilt-striken by what you did. Not many are like you who can flat out say that "you did a wrong thing". What you did takes a lot of guts because, it's about "facing yourself". And as long as there is guilt within you, there is still a good heart (as in morally conscious) beating inside your chest. If you would allow be to put in a religious word or two..Do you know that as long as you're guilty, it means that the Holy Spirit (other calls it conscience) still resides in your heart?? The hopeless one are those who will do an abortion without batting an eyelash because these people are already so hardened. But don't use the guilt-factor to self-destruct. Guilt if used constructively can be an impetus to turning one's life around..You can do that by FORGIVING YOURSELF right this very moment. We all have our moments of weakness that leads to things we regret. But by dropping out of school, drinking & smoking (which is caused by your depression) you are spiralling downward really fast. You are actually forfeiting your chance to live a happy/healthy life..Yes, your mom might have led you to the abortion & you might have done it out of fear..But it's all water under the bridge now.What happens from now to afterward is your call..And if you sink deeper, it will be your own undoing already. Fight your way back..You can do it.

Answer 6

Yes you deserve to live EVERY-ONE makes mistakes, You need to ask GOD for forgiveness, even he will forgive you sweetie, Sounds like you are having a really hard time with this, Maybe you need to talk with someone that will help you, Drinking and smoking is not the answer at all, It'll make things worse in the long run, You need to first forgive you're self and ask GOD for his forgiveness he will help you with the rest. Trust GOD

Answer 7

If your mother forced you to have an abortion, then quit blaming yourself. It wasn't your idea. Okay? However, it is normal to suffer extreme depression following abortion, so what you're feeling is normal. It also proves that you are a sensitive and kind-hearted person who is suffering from a guilt complex. I repeat -- it is your mother who is at fault and not you. So quit beating yourself up. Try and live a good life from now on, and do try to forgive yourself. God forgives those who are truly repentant. Can you do less? Good luck and have a happy life.

Answer 8

You must forgive yourself, or you will waste your life. I believe there is a reason for everything. Maybe that soul chose to come into your baby's body knowing that you would choose to abort it, in order for you to learn something about yourself &/or to make you stronger/more prepared for something still to come in your future. Maybe for you to be of help &/or the voice of reason for someone you know that might find themselves in the same predicament. Maybe as a wake up call to re-evaluate your own beliefs, or as a reminder to never let yourself be bullied or misguided by another. To be true to yourself. That would be a valuable lesson. Obviously this has impacted & changed your life forever. Although you may see it as a negative in your life, you could turn it into a positive. Get counseling. Who knows, maybe you could become a couselor, yourself, & help girls in the same situation. You're not evil, you're not perfect, you're just human. God still loves you no matter what. Good Luck.

Answer 9

You poor darling. Please do not blame yourself for this. It was your mothers fault. I was also manipulated by my mother when i was younger. You must stop blaming yourself, you will just keep spiralling down the depression route and you will self destruct. Once you have done that its even harder to come out of.
Please go to your doctor and ask for councelling so you can talk this out with someone. You need to do this to be able to move on and you need to do it soon, before you slip down further.
Everyone makes mistakes in their lives, often under the influences of other people. Your mother should be the one that is full of guilt.
Your mother is the one that should be asking for forgiveness.
Don't take her guilt on your shoulders, get councelling now and free yourself from the black hole you have put youself in.
I have found that spiritual healing is very positive and in most spiritual churches, free as well.
So please get councelling or spiritual healing now and you will find that you are not to blame.

Good luck. x

Answer 10

Get some counselling and get over it. Do not go to a pro-life counsellor or a counsellor who believes in post abortion syndrome. They'll just screw you up more for political reasons. Go to a pro-choice counsellor who accepts you and your past. I had an abortion too, but I know it was the right choice. You just need to learn to accept your past and move on with things. Besides, abortion isn't murder. Who ever is feeding you that lie is the one with real problems.

Answer 11

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.
Everyone makes mistakes & everyone can be forgiven. I know this situation is hard on you but if you don't let go of what happened, you'll never be able to live a happy/healthy life. You're stopping yourself from enjoying life & it shouldn't be this way. Yes, you made a mistake, but you're sorry & it's eating you alive. Don't let it. I don't know where you are religiously, but say a prayer to God & repent for what you did. I honestly believe that will help you move past this & let you enjoy your life.