I want to know from most people. I mean hypothetically and in general. There is nobody who I am dating right now, but I asked this question to some friends of mine. Some told me that I should lie to a woman. Having never dated in my life, something gives me this idea that women how experienced a guy is. If he hasn't dated, then some have told me that she'll take advantage of the guy. Others have said it depends on the girl herself and what she might think. As for sex or kissing, how can one tell if the person hasn't done either? It's not like nobody could learn by watching porn or movies or be taught. Personally, I don't want to lie to one because I feel that it is unethical and that might come to a point where I lead one on and then fall short of expectations. Do women really ask their boyfriends how many women has one guy been with? Personally, I usually think that nobody wants to talk about the past, because they should forget it depending on how they ended.
2007-09-16 13:58:40 · 13 answers · asked by Emanuel E 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your question is very complex, but I'll try and give you the advice you're seeking. First of all, never lie to anyone. As you say, it's dishonest and you're bound to be found out. Most women don't care how experienced you are. Just be decent and treat a woman with respect, the same way you'd want your sister or mom to be treated. Just act natural and be yourself. Concentrate on having fun, and don't worry about what the woman is thinking. Chances are, she's worrying about the same things regarding herself. You and she should just enjoy the time spent together, and not worry about the impressions you're making. You'll win some and lose some, but that's just part of the game. Good luck!
2007-09-16 14:08:57 · answer #1 · answered by gldjns 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some women may care more about how experienced a guy is than others. I definitely wouldn't lie about it though if a girl asks you straight out. Because it's very likely if you lie, they'll be able to tell you weren't telling the truth later on. It usually takes a fair amount of dating and physical experience to actually SEEM experienced, even if you think you can pull things off by doing exactly what you see or read about. And as far as if a girl asks how many women a guy has been with, some will and some won't. I usually ask at one point, mainly because I like to know a little about another person before things get very physical (just for safety's sake, etc.) and sometimes because I'm just curious. And in my experience, most guys fudge those numbers some (or don't even know exactly), and some are truthful. I LIKE to hear about someone's past because I learn about them that way. And if you are honest and a woman asks you, and you just say, I haven't been with any women, and haven't really dated, if she's the right girl for you she should respect you for that. I think you're definitely on the right track as far as not wanting to be unethical by lying - good for you!! There is a definite shortage of honest guys out there that are like that and if a girl runs across one (like you) she should be smart enough to know you're a keeper!
2007-09-16 21:10:20 · answer #2 · answered by Raven 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you something. Don't lie. If nothing else, if you get caught it's going to make you look ridiculous, and further, it's quite likely she may think, how is she to trust you otherwise?
She is not going to necessarily know how experienced you are, there are so-called "experienced" guys who are terrible in bed. If anything, she'll probably find it nice that you've picked her for your first time. If it goes that far, you tell her if for no other reason so that she knows if you do something wrong that it's inexperience and not arrogance.
I haven't been with that many women, but I've been on many dates with women and not once has any of them ever asked me how many women I saw before them. If you don't ask her, chances are she won't ask you.
If you're willing to be open and try and find out what she would like you to do to her, she's going to be appreciative of that and she'll show you she appreciates what you do either by letting you have her, or, letting you have her again at another time.
Now as far as "taking advantage of you," don't offer her money or anything of value until after you've had sex with her, don't loan her money or buy her expensive things. I've heard some guys say you don't buy anything for a girl until after she either performs oral sex on you or regular sex with you. (What they actually said was a little bit more crude than that.)
2007-09-16 21:12:12 · answer #3 · answered by Paul R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest being honest--depending on the girl, it could be awkward later if by some chance she happened to find to find out you lied.
Personally, I'd always want to know how experienced guys are before I started seriously dating them, but that's because if a man has been with a large number of women, I'd have a hard time trusting him to be reliable or disease-free. But I would never ask--that's just rude.
Also, if a girl would take advantage of you if she knows you haven't dated, then going out with her's a bad idea anyway. Just be truthful and then keep an eye out to make sure she's not trying to take advantage of you.
2007-09-16 21:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by Liz M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you can tell if someone is inexperienced just in the way they act, they might be shy or unsure, but if you're inexperienced and you're getting to that point with a girl I would just be honest with her, she'd be more understanding! I do think if a guy has been with lots of girls however it is a turn off, and I do like to ask my guy, it's not really a big deal because the past is the past but it's more about getting to know someone you're getting close to.
2007-09-16 21:05:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't ask a person you first met how many partners/experience they have had in their life--I usually wait until after I've gotten to know the guy well, casually ask him and tell him that he doesn't have to answer is he doesn't feel comfortable to. It doesn't matter to me if the guy has had experience or not--it's just a plus. Then they know how to handle matters better than an inexperienced guy.
2007-09-16 21:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by Crystal♥of♥Iris 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you get asked about your past, you dont have to answer. If she presses, you can always lie. A lie is only unethical if it hurts someone. You may tell Aunt Martha she looks nice in her new dress, even if she looks like a cow. Youre not 6 years old anymore, its time you realize that.
2007-09-16 21:05:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are some girls that will be comforted by your inexperience, if they too are inexperienced. There are some that will be uncomfortable with your inexperience. It depends on the girl.. I would get involved with someone who is first, your friend. Then, you won't have to explain to her or lie to her, or pretend you are someone whom you are not. This is always the better choice because you will know if you get along before you get romantically involved.
2007-09-16 21:06:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a woman and I care for what comes from the mans heart. the others will come as it may. just be yourself and tell the truth. things will happen to you in dew time. so don't rush if your not ready. good luck in what ever comes your way. God bless you and take care.
2007-09-16 21:08:50 · answer #9 · answered by linda b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i will say i dont care how much experience a guy has but i dont know......i think most women like guys with experience. it does really depend on the gurl tho. diff girls want diff things... i for one dont care.i rather like men with no experience
2007-09-16 21:13:39 · answer #10 · answered by ybnimako 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋