What's going on here?!!?

Question

I have a b/f of 2months (we have a very bumpy/friends with benefits/lots of fights/past...though I've known this guy for over a year/he never wanted a relationship with me before). So almost 2months ago he suddenly asked me to be his g/f and then about a week later told me he loves me. Though he can't really tell me why, he continues to tell me he loves me to my face and in texts. I ask him why he loves me, and he says that because I am responsible and he wants to see what he can become with me. (he says I make him a better person) Anyway, a few days after those 3words, he asked me to move in with him. His brother is getting an apartment and he wants me to share the extra bedroom with him. Ever since he has asked, he has been literally begging me to make the decision and live with him. It doesn't feel right at all. I don't even think this guy cares about me. We don't go on dates and I can't even rely on him giving me a call when he says he will, yet he's begging me to take the plunge

and get all serious with him. I don't really want to shack up in a room with him. We don't even have a solid relationship, with our very rocky past! I do not trust this guy at all! Please help, what do you think his motives are? Is it just to make things cheaper for him? Is it so he can have more control over me? I don't understand why he's suddenly acting like this and pushing/pressuring me to live in a room with him. If he really wants to live with me, I mentioned him moving in with me instead, it would be a little more expensive, but we'd still be living together, he's totally against that. HELP! I'm so confused.

Answer 1

Dear Brandi,

My speculation is, your boyfriend is attempting to create an environment, where he has control over you. Is he planning to make you a party to the lease, or will he and his brother be the tenants of record ? Don't forget his past rude behavior. Just think, what it may be like, when you live in "his" apartment.

Please, don't give up your apartment ! Unload your boyfriend; he is a mistake ! You have said yourself, you have had better. Stepping down in relationships, always is a mistake. The only way to go is up, i.e., benefit from your experience, the mistakes as well as the great moves.

Furthermore, deal with your codependence. If you don't, you will continue to have guys like this one in your life. Codependence is progressive. It doesn't get better, if you don't deal with it; it only gets worse. You don't want to end up being some guy's doormat. Counseling at your school, may be an avenue.

Larry