Lack of communication in a LD relationship?

Question

My bf and I were friends for 6 months before we entered a LD relationship over the last 6-7 months. We live 900 miles apart and typically see each other one weekend a month. I spent nearly all of July there.

He works alot, sometimes 2 jobs, so the communication during the week is limited (we might talk 3 times a day, 2 minutes here, 5 there, and I am sleep when he gets off at night). July had some highs and lows as I still had to ask for his time, even when he was home!
I have a steady job, so I find myself really missing the connection with him. Lately in the last month, I have been considering breaking up. I love him dearly, but I worry that although we talk about moving, the lack of communication now will continue to be an issue, even when we are in the same state. It's also weird because it seems like his time and communication improves once I talk about breaking up. Is he blowing me off until "drama" or a crisis hits the relationship? What would you do here?

Answer 1

Really not so much a LD problem as much as a career problem/job related problem so its great to see that you have the insight to see that. Yea it is a common technique (sub-concious actually can't really pre-meditate neglect, well maliciously...) for handling personal problems to not activily address them, but passivly. Ether way I could go into great detail about the falsehood of the way we treat love only relationships, but I've found that to be beyond this forum. So I leave you with this simple test, if the only reason you guys are together can be boiled down to just the love you share, your going to have bigger, and bigger problems as this relationship progresses. Now if you guys share a companianship, a bond of trust and understanding, then THRU that unconditional love, you don't ever have to end this relationship. Now if its just about the love, romance, hi honey, bye honey, let it go. You've already came to terms with letting go of the hope, to continue this relationship could only hurt the both of you. Just realize that with any relationship (espacially one as complicated as ld and career/job can get) love is never enough, its what you BOTH choose to do with that love, seems you both don't have much of a choice of what to do with it. But all I can really offer is that simple advice, because it would be horrible to let go of a deep, meaningful relationship, just because of simple time/locational restraints. But if its just love, for love sake, do the mature thing, let go.....