I have a friend, in great pain and stress after something happened in his life. When things happen that he cannot handle, he runs away from his life, and he has done so, now.
We are not close enough that my life would be directly affected, however, I worry for him, in his absence. I have faith that he will return eventually, but until then, there is nothing I can do for him.
How do you handle times like this, when someone you care about so deeply is absent, and there is nothing you yourself can do to help them, when they need it most?
[[I am asking in religion and spirituality, because religion/spirituality regulars, I feel, will advise me best in how to deal with this emptiness.]]
2007-09-16 13:15:32 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
if ur worried about him then just be there and be a friend wen he comes back .. if ur feeling lonely urself find someone to talk to :)
2007-09-16 13:22:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You say he has done this before? Then try to trust that he will come back, that he will take care of himself in the meantime. Many people find they need to get away, be alone, when things get too much. I know you can't help worrying some, but try to keep it under control by remembering that he's done this before and he was OK after awhile.
However, once he comes back, you may be able to spend some time with him talking over ideas for how to better handle situations like this. I'm sure you love him enough to want to make wise suggestions, and your good will is probably enough. For example, how much does he lose in leaving job, apartment, friends, opportunities, communication links behind him? Isn't there a way for him to get that alone time in less drastic fashion? After all, if the contemplation leads him to decide he must make significant changes in his life, it would be far better if he returned and had closure on the life he left behind.
2007-09-16 20:35:39 · answer #2 · answered by auntb93 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very good question and a difficult one to answer. I don't think any one response will satisfy your question but look at them all and hopefully you will find the solution to this question.
Can we communicate with those who are not near? Can we reach out and help those we cannot see or touch? I believe we can. The obvious way is through prayer. Certainly lift this person up in prayer and ask the forces we don't understand to help ... namely the Holy Spirit.
Being Catholic, I believe there are other things you can do along the same lines. We believe in the "Communion of Saints". Click the link below and take a look. In essence, we don't believe life ends with a physical death but life continues in the spiritual world. Even though there is a divide separating the physical from the spiritual, people who have experienced a physical death are still part of the human family but just in a different state of existence. They are still near us and are willing to help us.
Through the teachings of the Apostle Paul we understand that these "deceased people" who are in the presence of God (whom we call saints) can hear our prayers and help us. I believe there are saints that have lived and experienced the same things and had the same problems as you wrestle with today. You may wish to further investigate this possibility. I'm not pushing or saying this is for everyone but it may be of help to you in dealing with your problem.
God Bless
2007-09-17 11:19:48 · answer #3 · answered by tbolt63 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can appreciate what you are going through....been there myself. There is usually little one can do for someone in great pain and stress except listen if they need an "ear", offer a "shoulder" of understanding and a sympathetic hug if they need to cry, assure them they will always have a friend in you should they need one.....and then pray for them. God loves them more than any human being ever could love another. He knows exactly what they are going through and what they need to get through it, grow from it, and be drawn closer to God because of it. So pray for him. And pray for yourself because the same applies to you. God knows your emptiness, he knows how you hurt for your friend, and he knows what he wants you to learn from this. Your prayers don't need to be elaborate....one-liners get just as much attention. If you don't know what to ask for specifically, just turn the situation over to God.....let go and let God deal with it. With your permission, he will do just that. God bless.
2007-09-16 20:30:20 · answer #4 · answered by transplanted_fireweed 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is a good time to practice acceptance. the truth is, we have absolutluely no control over anyone other than ourselves. everyone is walking thier own path. trust that what is happening now is exactly what is meant to be happening. if you get to the point where you can beleive that all things happen for a reason, then you should be able to find some peace and serenity.
all the best :)
2007-09-16 20:25:29 · answer #5 · answered by dali333 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to do to help him. Sit and wait. Worry. Obviously you can't put your arms around his shoulders but that is what I would do if I could. At times like this asking a friend to share your concern is useful... and I guess you have done that much.
The internet is a great way of bringing people closer together but sometimes it is seriously deficient, when distance prevents a simple heartfelt gaze and hug.
2007-09-16 20:48:54 · answer #6 · answered by Icy Gazpacho 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dear Friend,
I can only offer you and him my sympathy and support. It is important that people in this position know that they are not alone. At the deepest point, words may not reach them so if you can, be there for them or when he returns. Above all, do not blame yourself for any imagined "failure" to support.
I suffered suicidal depression and alcoholism and I have the highest regard for the support and love of my Brother and his family.
Talk to me if you wish.
Blessings from
Rose P.
2007-09-16 21:21:59 · answer #7 · answered by rose p 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give him your own strength, love and compassion
in this connection and love, there is spiritual help and healing
the sad thing is, some people do not encourage their own spirituality and sap others'
when life finally happens in their fantasy land that can't be ignored, they collapse and need lots of help
the best is to not bail them out and encourage them to build their own foundation of spiritual things that are based in fact and reality
2007-09-16 20:21:14 · answer #8 · answered by voice_of_reason 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had once a similar question, and a great friend of mine answered " Stick to your friend....and if you can hold them tight". I think it is enough to stay beside your friend spiritually.
2007-09-16 20:28:36 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ask the creator to protect them -he chose to go you did not tell him to leave------he has left to learn life .......cut the apron string's rock in the old rocking chair and hope for the best..... after giving good advice and they do not listen then life has a way of teaching you ------self experience's .....nothing like them so life will teach hope for the best pray for the best rock in the chair and pray it does not tilt!
2007-09-16 20:25:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray for this individual. God may answer your prayer. If he does answer your prayer then you must acknowledge him. I will pray that both these things happen and I will pray that your friend comes back to you. God bless you.
2007-09-16 20:22:34 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋