I've been looking for a my own place for a while now. And I've finally found somewhere with my friend that I can afford!! But my mom has become very over-protective since she found out my ideas to stray away from home and be on my own. When I came across her with the idea, she was very supportive and told me she'll continue to help with my tuition as long as I pay for my living expenses. But last week when I told her I kind of found someone to move in with and can afford....she became negative and trying to make me change my mind on moving out! She's been asking me every day where I'm going and when I'll be back home even though she knows that I'm going to class or to work. I have a job, car, a focused student and I'll 20 years old in about 2 months and I don't feel that I should have a curfew that's at 1am...I'm fully capable of moving out. So how can I break it down to her that I'm moving out in a few weeks, without her holding me back?
2007-09-16 12:58:48 · 29 answers · asked by lilkitt 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
there is no easy way. Just tell her you've found a place and plan to move in 2 weeks, then ask if she would like to see the place. Maybe you could ask her "advice" on decorating, etc.
(Just a hint -- don't give her a key)
2007-09-16 13:04:47 · answer #1 · answered by Patsy A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your mother love and care a lot about you. What is wrong with getting all the help you can now, you will have your entire life to be on your own. When you move out you should not have to depend on your mom for any financial support. Moving with someone can cause a lot of problems. Your mom knows you best trust her judgement. If it is about the curfew talk to her about extending it and at least finish school before you move out. You are still young and can learn a lot from mom. If you must go then tell her all about your arrangement and ask for her co-operation. Assure her you will stay in touch regularly and will still seek her guidance when needed. Good luck.
2007-09-23 15:09:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right in the world to move away from your Mother's home. The only thing that she might do is cut off paying for your education and any allowance she might be giving you, but I am sure you have already thought of that. I think the l am curfew was more for her so that she could get a good nights sleep.
2007-09-22 12:34:19 · answer #3 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon just pack your stuff and move.
Your 20 years old you don't need her permission.
However, I just hope your roommate works out for you, my daughters left home at 18 and both got roommates that left them with the rent and utilities to pay. One had to come home, she had no choice, the other found another place to live for awhile but came home too. I thought they were both too young to handle it out there but when they were 20 years old living at home, I just asked if they would pay something towards food( or bring in a couple of bags a week) and be home before 2am I trusted them but not the drunks on the road when the bars closed. They had no problem with either of those 'rules'.
2007-09-16 13:15:33 · answer #4 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult just tell her you are moving and make sure she has your address and phone number.....I'll never forget when I moved 1800 miles away not for school just because I wanted to see more of the country my mom cried like I had never seen her cry before...My move showed my siblings that there was more out there besides the state of Texas and I have lived in 4 different states now you sound very secure and once your mom see's this she will be happy for you!
Good Luck
2007-09-16 13:06:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just like you wrote. Let her know that you're ready to try it on your own, and thanks for all the good lessons she has given you. Show her the place; talk about what it's close to, how you'll come to visit...all those good things.
I will tell you that when I did all that when I was 19, I still had total homesickness for 2 weeks. I cried, and really missed my parents. I only lived 20 minutes from them but it was really hard. I didn't realize I had that much of a connection with my parents. I can only hope that my daughters will have the same with me, and we can have that conversation together when they are 19. Good luck, and remember, you must really be a caring person to worry about your Mom's feelings.
2007-09-24 07:36:48 · answer #6 · answered by laura g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mum is obviously going through some seperation anxiety. I'm a young mum myself, and its true, you don't get it until you become one. Just remember, it's gotta be tough for her, you need to realise that it's not just a 'life change' for you, but it's really going to affect her life and be a 'life change' for her aswell. I think it will all be fine, you're mum just needs some reassurance, she probably thinks her whole world is ending, and she'll never see you again (mum's tend do to over react!) so you just need to reassure her she'll still very much be a part of your life.
Probably also thank her for all that she's done for you up until now, if she didn't raise you to be a strong, independent and financially stable person... you wouldn't be able to take control of you life like you are, and the amazing person you've become. She's the one who's got you to this point in your life, so just reassure her and flatter her on her parenting skills over the past 20 years. She can't object if you're flooding her with compliments!!!
2007-09-16 13:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by violet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just my opinion. Of ALL the people on the planet, the one you should be able to talk to IS YOUR MOM. Trust me. She deserves that much. Mine passed away from cancer. That's another issue. I'd NEVER wait till the last minute. There's always a way to discuss it. I'm a FIRM believer. Family is the closest in the circle. Even Charles Manson has a mom, and that's a whole complete different issue. Sounds like Dad isn't too closely involved. That's OK. Just my thought.
2007-09-16 13:09:31 · answer #8 · answered by Dennis B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit Mom down and tell her, gently. Mothers love their children like no other Its very hard for us to let go. Just tell her the truth. You want to be on your own, but still need her, maybe she could help decorate your new place. Tell her you feel the need for this responsibility. You crave being out on your own. She is more than welcome to visit, and yes, do give her your telephone number. She means no harm, she just has an abundance of love for you. Tell her you will still come over and visit, and even plan one day a week to do lunch or dinner with Mom. Good luck.
2007-09-24 09:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by Only In Dreams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is, to sit her down and tell her, that you love her, and that you feel that you are ready to be on your own with a friend.
Tell her, that you will continue to work and study, and you would appreciate her help, in furnishing the apartment. Also, be sure to tell her, that without her to help you to become a responsible adult, you would not be ready now to go out on your own.
Above all, reassure her, that she is not losing you, and that you value her, it doesn't hurt to ask her for a few of your favorite recipes that she makes.
2007-09-16 13:07:35 · answer #10 · answered by judyrobins14 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋