Can my mom MAKE me let her see her grandkids>?

Question

She is mentally and emotionally abusive. I dont' let her see the kids much and want to stop it all together, but moving really far away. In the meantime I am pacifying her by letting her see them once ever now and than. I am worried she will go to court as here we have 'grandparetns rights'. Menal and emotional abuse is very hard to prove, and even harder when she is a 'pillar of the community' pastor's wife. Since I have cut back contact, my anxiety attacks have stopped and my kids have self confidenece.. my oldes child acutally plays and gets hyper (she used to be a serious and shy child). My kids dont' even have tempers and burts of sudden anger anymore! I am worried if she takes me to court because emotional abuse is 'he said, she said'. Can she MAKE me let the kids go around her? I am going to go to counselling to help me out, but also so there is documentation.. but that kind of documentation is more 'she said...' kind of stuff.

I am single, so no husband on my side. I have some friends, but I have 2 close friends. And they have seen the differences, but they only hear my side. ANd of course my mom doesnt' play mind games in front of other people. My mom doesnt' know she does this.. I have tried for years to work this out with her. She insists she only loves us and doesn't know why I am hurting her (more guilt).

I am in Alberta and we have granparents rights here

my kids love her. They just know that she is fun. I can see the effects but they can't. They like the fun

Answer 1

I'm in Sydney Australia,and we have grandparent laws,iv been to family court twice with the biological father and twice in the local court before that,he took me each time.the grandparents are much the same,so far they haven't made legal advances 2wards more communication yet,but I'm terrified too.I'm single mum of 4,two are his.they often make reference to the law for them,but I'm not sure they are confident enuf to make application,the four key elements of of a workable relationship are Shared Respect=to not publicly judge,Consideration=to be sensitive to the feelings of the other.put yourself in their shoes.Courtesy=being polite shows consideration.Clear Communication=to swap ideas,listen,and try to understand where they are coming from.parents are responsible for kids for everything and your doing a wonderful job,and you need to know that,children developer healthy and safe ways to work thru their own feelings,and youv given them that stable support and environment already.i wish you luck and i hope you dont get too stressed,there must be away you can reduce this conflict.any choice you make will impact your childrens lives,so postive choices will serve your children better.my boys love the grandparents but also dont like to stay long when the fun is over,so the grandparents tire easier now,so at the moment the visits are not as often or as long.goodluck friend.

Answer 2

IN Canada, there are no Grandparent rights (thank god!) and if by some chance she happened to go to court, she wouldn't get visitation b/c in the court of law, parents (single or not) are the best advocate for their kids and if they see no reason to allow the Grandparent visit then they will do do so b/c thankfully they see the parent as being the guardian.

I've done my research on these 3 yrs ago (as you know a littlle) and parents always take presidence. Please be rest assured that all you'd need to do is say 'half' the stuff to a judge of what you went through as a child and that would be good enough.

In Canada we don't have grandparent laws like they do else where (thank god again!) Keep your proof as documents, but you really are the only sound board and unless you don't provide a safe environment for your child, there'd be no need to have grandparents involved. That is the only way Grandparents get any rights to their grandchildren over the actual parent(s) because the parent is not mentally fit to look after the child. If this is not you, then you don't need to worry.

Answer 3

Chances are she will not get the rights. She can try if she can get a good lawyer but she has to have the money to pay for a good lawyer who knows about grandparents rights. Also they would probably grant a Guardian Ad LItem which is a lawyer for the kids who will determine if she is even safe to have around the kids as that lawyer has to work for the children and what is best for them. Like I said though it is very rare that grandparents when visits but it is happening more and more everyday but it is usually in the case of the parents having issues and the grandparents being the better rolemodel or if the children lived with the grandparents at some point. My ex mother in law tried to get visits with her grandkids she hadn't ever seen and the courts ruled her a nonimportant part of their lives as they didn't even know her. If the courts do agree to visits they may do supervised visits to see how the children respond but the more you can prove her unfit to be around them the better your chances of blocking her.

Answer 4

Your Mom doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't want to accept her bad behavior so she ignors it & blames you. Where I live we don't have grandparent rights, so I don't know how to help you out with that. Except maybe you can keep a small recorder in your pocket. When you & the kids visit, record the conversastions & then you can put all the negative stuff on one tape & bring it to court. Hopefully it don't come to that. Just try to keep her happy until you move, let her see the children only when you're with, & try to get moved right away & don't let her know about it. If you tell her you're moving too soon, she'll get her butt to court faster to try to prevent it. She likes to have control, dont' let her.

Answer 5

Even thou you think the documentation that you are collecting is "he said, she said" crap it will be very useful to you if she does take you to family court. I'm in the same boat as you and I went to the court here and they told me write it all down in detail, and if they were messages on my phone to save them, and to put them on an actual tape. If she (your mom) calls get the kids to tell her that they don't want to cause they are doing something else. Let the kids be the ones to tell her that they don't to, it will go much easier cause who is going to argue with a child, another child. If that goes bad write it down. Sorry that's all I can tell you. Hope everything works out for and your kids.

Answer 6

Do whatever it takes to keep the kids from her. The kids my love her now, but, wait till they are grown and see what they say.
I used to love my grandfather, I thought he and I had special relationship. Until I learned later that the special relationship also had another name - molestation. I have suffered greatly emotionally for things done to my by a grandparent as a child.
Please, keep the kids from crazy grandma.

Answer 7

It is a possibility, but I don't think I know anyone who has ever successfully done this. Just don't mention it to her. With your counseling, she might get turned down for visitation. Even if she gets it, you can probably get supervised visitation. Every case I personally know that has had to do this, they did it a couple of times and then the person who had to be supervised stopped showing up.

Answer 8

No. The Supreme Court has ruled in Troxel v. Granville that grandparents cannot force parents to grant them visitation rights. See http://www.pbs.org/newshour/extra/features/jan-june00/grandparents.html

Answer 9

if your mom and dad have chosen to stay and placed across you up interior the U.S., they are in a position to no longer often be shocked in case you decide directly to be American. Ask them what precisely they estimated. Why they made that selection yet do no longer decide to stay with the outcomes. Do they no longer appreciate the society they have chosen?. listed under are some regular strategies I make to adolescents in case you're able to get some useful innovations from them. Ask to have a serious dialogue with your mom and dad approximately how they see issues panning out interior the arrival years. It needs to be extremely rational, so if one among you turns into too emotional (e.g. indignant) it could be suited to objective lower back yet over lower back. prepare in improve what you're able to decide to declare and ask: write a plan, even. As you attain each and every birthday, as an occasion, or each and every new college 3 hundred and sixty 5 days, what rights, freedoms and accepted jobs will you have? Chores, pocket funds, curfews, relationship, etc. will all come into it, of course. you could no longer extremely assume some thing for no longer something, so think of roughly what you could placed into the kinfolk and enjoyed ones as component to your negotiations as to what you will get. in case you're to grow to be a in charge person, it could actually be a steady technique: in the event that they shop you wrapped up in cotton wool and then without notice assist you to out of the field at eighteen, you will no longer have adequate adventure to be attentive to the thank you to deal with it. That suggested, your be certain(s) is/are in charge on your welfare and welfare in this time: little question they love you and that they themselves have the stories you do no longer yet. Seeing issues on t.v. and listening to your buddies' (exaggerated?) memories are not incredibly a similar. in the event that they do no longer decide to try this, ask them in the event that they are going to please evaluate a plan and communicate lower back in a week or so. All plans are somewhat versatile, as unpredicted issues can ensue, of direction. with a bit of luck this could tutor which you have a maturing strategies-set on your loved ones and your existence. sturdy luck!

Answer 10

They are your kids, and I hope you are being serious, because most kids need their grandparents. But, as a mother, if you truly feel that they are being abused, you need to stop letting her see them now. If you continue letting her see them, then she truly will have a case for grandparents rights. If she tells them that you have been letting her see them, and then you say she was abusive, they will think that you are a little off your rocker. Don't apease her, do what is best for your children. You are their protector.