What should you do if you accidently mistake a very masculine lesbian as 'sir'?

Question

Today in a store, I asked what I thought was a gentleman from behind to step aside and addressed him as 'sir'. It ended up being a very masculine woman.

How should I correct myself in this situation?

Should I apologize then correct myself or should I ignore it as not a big deal?

Answer 1

"I apologize. Please forgive my rudeness."

That will win you forgiveness within seconds. Never ignore a social error like that. Even if you never see the person again, you should always apologize for saying something inappropriate to another person.

Answer 2

To be honest.. I wouldn't apologize about it unless she brings it up to you..

Here's the thing.. any apology you pull out now, may be more insulting than refering to her as "Sir" to start with.

What do you say?? "Hi, yesterday I called you Sir, because I didn't realize right away that you were a woman."

Wow.. that would be tons worse.. and any variation of that apology I can think of is just as bad..

Best bet is this..

If she brings it up to you, then yes, definately apologize, and buy her a cup of coffee or something. No hard feelings..

But if she doesn't bring it up to you.. then either a) maybe she didn't notice.. or b) maybe it happens to her often.. you may not be the only one whose made that mistake.. or c) maybe she was even flattered.. who knows.. but if she doesn't bring it up.. then don't bother either..

I'm sure if it bothers her she will let you know.

Answer 3

Great question, it has happened to me more than once.

I drive a truck for a living and while most of the lady drivers out here are feminine and you cannot possibly mistake them for anything but a woman, there are a few that I have mistakenly called sir.

How I handle it depends on their response. Obviously they know if they look like a guy, so if they get an attitude with me I just ignore them and go on my way, but, if they laugh about it I will apologize for the mistake.

Answer 4

Apologize. Simply say that you made a mistake and you didn't mean anything by it.

**My coworker once had a woman chase her into the ladies room yelling "sir this is the women's bathroom sir!" My coworker said "my hair came back pretty good since the chemo don't you think?" I bet that woman thinks before she chases someone down again.

Answer 5

That all depends on what kind of person you are. It's on your mind and it would seem very noble of you to correct what you have done. Put your self in her shoes.....if someone sent you a note sincerely apologizing for their mistake that hurt you, it might brighten up your day.

I, personally, think that you are sweet for even posting this question.

Answer 6

Oh man, that's so embarrassing, isn't it?! Well, I wouldn't have said anything as if I didn't notice I was wrong. What can you do besides stand there and make a bigger of yourself by opening your mouth further. So, from now on, just "Excuse me" will do, eh?

Answer 7

Say sorry just in case you've offended. Then leave it be. Sometimes the less we say after a gaffe is the best.

Answer 8

You should apologize when something is your fault. But when a woman makes herself looks like a man, then if she gets mistaken for a man, that's her own damn fault. I wouldn't apologize.

Also, wouldn't it be horrible if you apologized, then it turned out it really was a man, who kind of looked like a woman who looked like a man? That'd be embarrassing. And he wouldn't necessarily deserve it.

Answer 9

i would just say "excuse me"
i mean, if you made the mistake and she looked at you like you were stupid then an exuse me would work fine.
she's right though, if she wants to be butch, then let it be.
most drag queens like to be called she so i don't really see the difference.

Answer 10

I've seen this happen and have done it several times.. Most really don't care.. I mean they want to be butch.. I would have just let it go.. I'm sure it's NOT that big a deal... Unless they give you "static"...