Can you answer these (somebody sent me them!)?

Question

Questions to ponder...some just make you want
to go..
> hmmm
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Can you cry under water?
>
>
>
> How important does a person have to be before they are considered
> assassinated instead of just murdered?
>
>
>
> Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny
for your
> thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
>
>
>
> Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried
> in for eternity?
>
>
>
>
> Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
>
>
>
> What disease did cured ham actually have?
>
>
>
>
>
> How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a
> good idea to put wheels on luggage?
>
>
>
>
> Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake
up like
> every two hours?
>
>
>
>
>
> If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
>
>
>
>
>
> Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
>
>
>
>
> Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars
> to look at things on the ground?
>
>
>
>
> Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you
> naked anyway.
>
>
>
>
>
> Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
>
>
>
>
> Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible
> crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
>
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song
about him?
>
>
>
>
>
> Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
>
>
>
>
> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why
> can't he fix a hole in a boat?
>
>
>
> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both
> dogs!
>
>
>
> If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he
> just buy dinner?
>
>
>
> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,
> what is baby oil made from?
>
>
>
> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>
>
>
> Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
>
>
>
> Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
>
>
>
> Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
but call
> it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
>
>
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you,
> but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
>
>
>
> Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first
place?
>

No "avery and aj's mum" - they belong in this section - ask your children/grandchildren for the answers and then get back on here with them!

Well what I mean is - my grandchildren ask similar sorts of questions to which I don't know the answer and simply asking them makes us think - what is wrong with that?

Ha ha - good answers,Mandy S! The last one I suppose should be "why did you subscribe to Y!A in the first place" in this context!

Ha ha,jds girl - congratulations for having such smart children and I'll think about your quesion at the end and get back to you!

Answer 1

I asked my 13 year old daughter to help me answer these so your getting a kids opinion on kid questions lol.

1) No, but you can scream.
2) More than 50 have to know the persons name.
3) Inflation.
4) No, you get standard issue white outfits.
5) It's easier to carry.
6) Lack of salt.
7) Hmmm?
8) While they were asleep they slept very well.
9) Hmmm?
10) For the same reason your on a movie set to be in the movie.
11) A better view.
12) Privacy.
13) To tell the difference between pants and underwear.
14) To make you watch what your doing.
15) To make fun of him.
16) Only if it's sitting in the passenger seat.
17) He's a professor not a carpenter.
18) Never figured that one out.
19) No take out places sell road runner.
20) Hmmm?
21) No, it just seems that way.
22) Yes.
23) Yes, and she never realized it before.
24) Hmmm?
25) He like fresh air not bad breath.
26) Just to drive you nuts.

Here's one more question. If a vegetarian eats vegetables what does a humanitarian eat?

Answer 2

> Can you cry under water?
No. Crying requires inhaling.
>
>
>
> How important does a person have to be before they are considered
> assassinated instead of just murdered?
>
"Assassinated" is a term used for any person in a political office.
>
>
> Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny
for your
> thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
>
One penny is for your thoughts, the other is for your contribution to the conversation.
>
>
> Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried
> in for eternity?
>
No. Heaven is within the spiritual realm, which means that our bodies aren't physical and don't require clothing.
>
>
>
> Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
>
To better fit in the freezer.
>
>
> What disease did cured ham actually have?
>
It's ham. It used to be pig. Somewhere along the way, SOMETHING had to be done.
>
>
>
>
> How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a
> good idea to put wheels on luggage?
>
Because science and common sense do not always collide.
>
>
>
> Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake
up like
> every two hours?
>
I'm a photographer, and I often photograph babies. They get up when THEY feel like it. Try waking a sleeping baby long enough to get a picture of their eyes open, then come back and ask that question.
>
>
>
>
> If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
>
Yup, he's not the one that is hearing anything, it's the judge/jury. If the man is mute, then it makes more sense to wonder if it's a "hearing".
>
>
>
>
> Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
>
No idea.
>
>
>
> Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars
> to look at things on the ground?
>
Novelty. But I always look to see how far I can see into the horizon, not what is going on on the sidewalk below me.
>
>
>
> Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you
> naked anyway.
>
A question I've often wondered about, and never been able to answer.
>
>
>
>
> Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
>
No clue.
>
>
>
> Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible
> crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
Bagels.
>
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song
about him?
>
The only person who doesn't care is "I". Maybe Jimmy's corn-cracking skills important to others.
>
>
>
>
> Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
>
Ehhh... how could you argue that both people are in a hurry enough to need the carpool lane?
>
>
>
> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why
> can't he fix a hole in a boat?
>
Let's think over this. He went on a teeny tiny boat for a three-hour tour with The Skipper, Gilligan, a snobby rich couple, a movie star, and a farm girl. How intelligent can the professor really be? He HAD to know that was a setup.
>
>
> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both
> dogs!
>
Pluto is a pet, Goofy is not.
>
>
> If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he
> just buy dinner?
>
Not as much fun.
>
>
> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,
> what is baby oil made from?
>
What do you think REALLY happens when you send diapers to a diaper service?
>
>
> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>
Often, yes.
>
>
> Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?

Yup. My preschooler realized this before I did.
>
>
>
> Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
>
I didn't.
>
>
> Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
but call
> it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
>
LOL
>
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you,
> but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

LOL Maybe he does not care for the scent of your breath.
>
>
>
> Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first
place?
>
Never did.

Answer 3

Can you cry under water?
>
yes.
>
> How important does a person have to be before they are considered
> assassinated instead of just murdered?
>
a public figure killed by a stranger.
>
> Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny
for your
> thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

I have no idea, taxes!!

> Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried
> in for eternity?

no
>
>
> Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

round pizzas are easier to make and boxes are easier to make when they are square
>
> What disease did cured ham actually have?

none, just a type of prossesing/salting/cooking.
>
>
>
> How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a
> good idea to put wheels on luggage?

beats me
>
>
> Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake
up like
> every two hours?

babies go into a deep sleep is what they are refurring to, or older babies who sleep for 12 hours.
>
>
>
> If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

yes they do.
>
>
>
> Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

I don't know
>
>
> Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars
> to look at things on the ground?

cause they can say"oh look"!!
>
>
> Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you
> naked anyway.

respect
>
>
>
> Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

just the way the english language is.
>
>
> Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible
> crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


Some people like burt toast! and my old dog use to love it!
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song
about him?

I don't know.
>
>
>
> Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

Only if he has another live person with him.
>
>
> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why
> can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Wouldn't be a very good show then , would it.
>
> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both
> dogs!

I don't know.
>
> If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he
> just buy dinner?

Roadrunners taste better, and when you got a craving you just gotta have one
>
> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,
> what is baby oil made from?

Not babies, it's made from oil and perfumes and some other ingrediants.
>
> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

No it dose not!
>
> Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?

Eaiser to remember
>
> Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

I didn't.
>
> Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
but call
> it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
I don't know!
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you,
> but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

Blowing makes a noise that we can't hear but the dog can so it bothers his ears while the wind blowing pass him dose not
>

Answer 4

1. Yes you can cry, but you may not see the tears.

2. Assassinated is a term used for a person killed because of there position.

3. They charge an extra penny for putting in your opinion when it is unwanted.

4. No in heaven you get white robes, there is a dressing room at the entrance.

5. Ever try sticking a round box in a square microwave?

6. cured is not from a disease but a was of cooking the ham.

7. We spend more time focusing on the rest of the world rather than ourselves.

8. they were refering to the one baby on this earth that has a rare sleeping disorder.

9. yes, but for him it's a sighting

10. cause when your in a move your on the big screen, its a visual reference.

11. to see further than there eyes can normal see, a birds eye view.

12. Avoid the sexual harrasment charges.

13. cause one holds the titty, but takes more to pet the kitty

14. Some people are that weird

15.Just to let you know we don't care

16. with a police escort I am sure they can go anywhere they please.

17. Then you would have watched it the next day.

18. Racial profiling, goofy was a black dog!

19. Grocery doesn't sale roadrunner

20. synthetics

21. not most of them have no morality

22. yes same boring third grade teacher made it up

23. just to make sure.

24. its in the anal hemosphere.

25. have you ever smelt your morning breathe?

26. never did.

Answer 5

lol!

i could add

why when something gets sent by road it is calling 'shipping' and why when it goes by sea it is called 'CARgo'?



or why does a dog growl when it is angry and wag its tail when it is happy whereas a cat growls when it is happy and wags it tail when it is angry? (Lewis Carrol for that one!)



or local authorities cut the bin collections from once a week to once a fortnight THEN they change the bins to a smaller size! d'ohhhh!

Answer 6

These are hilarious. These are definately keepers. Gotta' save these. I've laughed too hard. And tell Avery & AJ's Mom above that if anyone needs a little comedy, it's parents.

Answer 7

Joan I love the one about the nursery rhymes and the one underneath about singing them, - You've cheered my up no end thanks
mama

Answer 8

I love these nod along questions..... and i did sing twinkle twinkle and the alphabet!

Answer 9

Funny stuff!
Probably needs to be in the comic section, not the parenting section

Answer 10

Too funny...thanks for the laugh!